


La vie est belle

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, Eventual Smut, I wrote this a long time ago, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Drug Use, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Singer Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:34:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~• life is beautiful •~<br/>In a world where poverty and despair come hand and hand, Levi Ackerman has surely been to hell and back. His dark past clouds his mind every chance it gets. Now that he's older, thoughts of finding love are beginning to take over. All he's ever really wanted was someone to call his own, and someone he could love and trust. Considering his past relationships, romantic as well as friendships, they have not gone well. </p>
<p>One day, at the Sacred Heart's Shelter, he meets a younger man by the name of Eren Jeager, who's eyes sparkled like those of his deceased younger sister, Isabel. Levi found him mysterious nonetheless, and very hard to read, but there was one thing he could tell: Eren was broken. Intrigued, he approached the standoffish boy, in hopes to spark a friendship, little did he know their "friendship" would result in something more. A serious accident brings them closer than ever, teaching them both the important of life, and how love can mend truly anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saints Of Ohio

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not intended for younger audiences, at times there's some angst. (I cant seem to write anything happy I'm sorry, but the ending is happy, so remember that while reading).. It starts out with heavy angst, so keep that in mind as well, and eventually, there will be smut, but probably not till the end.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> P.S. There is past Erwin x Levi, and I just want to say that by putting their relationship in this book, I AM NOT bashing the ship to make Ereri / Riren seem better. I respect all ships, so please don't get angry at me. 
> 
> Thank You! ♥

"My passion has always been fueled by pain, my pleasure fulfilled by pain, my pain only fueled by my inner hate." Levi sighed, tapping the end of his pen to his chin, thinking of what else he could write. "Why do I even bother writing this shit? What's the point of poetry when all it does is reopen wounds?" He shook his head, putting the pen down on the desk. "I can only write when I'm high, isn't that sad?" Levi thought to himself, looking over at his empty bed, the pure white linen, and how plain it looks against his eggshell colored walls.

There was no point in painting when he's always bouncing around from place to place, unable to keep up with his rent, and or getting into trouble; only resulting with Levi staying at the one place, really the only place, that welcomed him with open arms: Sacred Heart's Shelter.

Of course, that was just another trigger for Levi's addiction, a sensory reminder of what his life used to be, and how he could be again if he lets himself slip through the cracks. On the other hand though, it was the only place he could call home. His hometown was never considered home, just the place where everything went wrong. The house he grew up in was never a home. His mother was never really a mom, and his father, hell, he was simply nothing at all, just an absence to the so called family. Maybe it was better off that he was presumed dead. Maybe it was better off that he was deemed missing in action, or maybe even went off to war, never to return. Either way, those were the stories Levi told. With every new school he was forced to attend, the story changed.

Levi's phone rang, vibrating loudly on the desk. He sighed loudly as his eyes glanced over to see who was calling.

"What the hell does he want?" The look on his face turned brutal as he pressed accept. "What is it Erwin?"

"No hello?" The other man spoke in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm hanging up if you don't get to the point douche-bag."

"Fine. I wanted to know if you-"

"I don't want to chill, I don't want to smoke, drink, have sex, I want nothing. I'm not-"

"Don't flatter yourself, I wasn't going to ask you to come over." Erwin's voiced indicated his annoyance with Levi's assumption. He could picture Erwin rolling those piercing blue eyes of his.

"Then what is it?"

"I want to know If you've been to the shelter lately, I was talking to Rose last night and she said she hasn't seen you and she's worried. I thought I'd let you know that."

"You didn't have to be the one to tell me, she could have called me if she was so worried."

"Well, you changed your number yet again Levi, and I had it in my phone. I told her I'd get a hold of her.. call her. She wants you to go back."

"For?" Levi sucked his teeth, standing up from the uncomfortable wooden chair he was sitting on.

"To work, she heard you needed a job. You just lost your-"

"Why'd you tell her jackass?"

"You happened to come up in our conversation, nothing more, nothing less than that Levi."

"My name shouldn't even come out of your mouth. And honestly, I don't want to work with you. So I'll pass up on that."

"Look, I only volunteer there on the weekends, you'd get paid to work there. I don't care if you never work weekends, we never have to cross paths. I get that you hate me. Just don't pass up on a good offer. Rose believes in you, and the all the young men and women there need a supporter.. Someone they can look up to, I think you'd be good at it, okay? Maybe you could have the same impact on someone as Rose did to you.. Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

"If I work there, I'd have to live upstairs in the church housing."

"So? It's cheap, right? You wont have to worry about housing. Rose wouldn't kick you out, neither would Father Densely.. They both-"

"I'll talk to Rose, goodbye Erwin." Levi rolled his eyes as he hung up, wanting to throw his phone across the room. "Who the hell does he think he is? Telling me what to do and what not to do?! He must want me to kick his ass.." His eyes went cold, narrowing to the point he could barely see.

Levi clenched his fist in a cluster of confusion and anger. His body tensed, becoming hotter by the rage in his veins. The sound of his ex making his blood boil over. His tightly clenched fists shook almost uncontrollably, wanting to come in contact with Erwin's face. But at this point, punching a wall would do the trick.

He began to pace back and forth on the cold wooden floor. His bare feet were the only parts of his body that remained cold. He listened to the sound of his footsteps, hoping it's calm him down some.

With a deep inhale, Levi plopped himself on the edge of his bed. He took his phone from his pocket, checking the time; it was only noon.

This time last year, in the cold northern winters, it was the perfect time to get high. Though, if you asked any addict, now is always the perfect time.

When it was cold, and the snow blanketed the outside world, ironically leaving it cold and damp, Levi would be inside, keeping himself warm with his own version of snow. The only white he liked to see in front of him. The other kind of snow found on the streets, sold by the kilo. His only real friend, and the only snow he'd ever shovel.

Just like a quick gust of wind. You know the kind, the ones that hit your body with like a freight train, a ton of coldness almost sweeping you off your feet. But after, when the bone chilling gust of wind settles, and the air is still, your body slowly gains it's warmth back. Your toes get warm, and regain their feeling. Your fingers are no longer frozen in place, and the shivers begin to cease. Now imagine having the same warmth as Bermuda in July, even though it's late December. Now imagine feeling numb while sitting under the shades of lovely palm trees. Now imagine your favorite artist, actor or character feeding you grapes while fanning you down.

It sounds amazing, doesn't it?

That's exactly how Levi would describe his high. It was a fantasy. His body was at ease. It was a peace with itself, though only for a few moments. It was never long enough for a full feel of pleasure, but enough to erase the depressing thoughts that haunted him in his sleep.

It all started when he was younger, around the age of seventeen. A high school drop out, with every odd set against him. He's steal his mothers prescription pills from the medicine chest, popping them when he could just so he could feel numb, and forget about all prior events.

Levi never had it easy. With no degree, it was hard for him to land a job, so he resorted to other methods of making money. Some days, he'd sell what his mother had left over at the end of the month. Some days, he'd be in the back of a cop car, letting the saviors of his city use his body for their pleasure. But more times then none, he'd steal, or get low paying jobs and do his usual on the side.

Though now, at age twenty four, he's more than pleased to say that he has been clean for nine months. He previously worked at a factory that makes glass. Unfortunately, now that he's unemployed, yet again, he can only pay rent for the next month or two with what he has saved up.

Deep down, Levi knew what he had to do. Never to admit Erwin was right, or even influenced his decision, he knew he had to go back to the shelter and talk to Rose about the opening as a mentor for the support groups they held on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Hastily, Levi slipped on a pair of black ankle high socks, and then his old, but clean, white sneakers. As he walked past his bedroom door, he grabbed his coat, throwing it on quickly. Locking the door behind him, Levi made his way to the shelter, only six blocks from his apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

"Levi!" Rose, an older woman the same size as Levi, with medium length black hair, with grey roots popping through. Her skin was pale, and her eyes a sparking blue. She smiled as Levi walked up to her, stopping to hug her quickly. "You look great! How have you been?"

"I've been better.. So I really can't complain.. And clean.. I've been clean for seven months now."

"I can tell." She smiled, touching his face softly. "I'm guessing Erwin called you?"

"He did.." Levi spoke with less enthusiasm, wanting to punch the nearest wall at the sound of his name.

"You know.. I'm glad you're here nonetheless. He told you about my job offering? We need a new support group leader.. Are you interested?"

"Well, yes.. But I wouldn't even know how-"

"You're support to the members. They're all going through things you can relate to.. Most of them are addicts, struggling with some sort of drugs the way you did. It's your job to listen and be there for them. Just like you.. They're coming here to look for a shoulder to lean on, they don't have anyone in their life willing to help at this point."

"Understood." Levi cleared his throat, following her into the dining room. It was filled with five long brown tables that have seen better days, with twelve fold up chairs per table. The church was underfunded, but it was holding their own. The walls were painted a pale blue, with a white trim on the top. The dining room was in the basement under the church. In another room upstairs, where all meeting are held, is a conference room. White tiled floors, tainted windows, and pure white walls with crosses in the middle of each wall.

Levi felt weird every time he entered a church, but even though he was never really into religion, he's thankful for the power of god and the members of the church who have been helping him since he was young.

"We have some new cooks.. They volunteer like Erwin a few days a week." Rose walked through the folding doors. Levi followed like an obedient puppy. "This is Hanji and that's Mike."

The brown haired woman wore thick lens glasses. Her olive skin and tall body caught Levi's attention. But only for a small moment. She smiled over and introduced herself. The moment her mouth opened, he was no longer interested.

"Hi! I'm Hanji Zoe! But call me hanji.. Or Han.. No don't call me Han, maybe Hanj.. But Hanji will do fine!" She smiled stupidly, shaking Levi's hand rapidly as she spoke.

"I'm Levi. Only call me Levi." He left his arm limp as she shook it vigorously, then quickly ripping his hand away to shake Mike's.

"She's just excited. Don't mind her." He spoke rather quietly, giving Levi a firm shake, then getting back to work.

"Excited, huh?" He forced a chuckle, following Rose back out of the room.

"Since the last time you were here, we've redecorated a lot as well. The meeting room has been repainted and the chairs are no longer folding chairs. With the funds the Church received, we did a lot of work. Honestly, we did the best we could."

Rose opened the door to the meeting room. The once pale white walls were painted tan, with a white trim. The hardwood floors have been polished, and a small red area rug placed in the center of the room with ten black wooden chairs surrounding it. Compared to the way it looked before, it was a major improvement. It no longer looked rundown and poorly kept up with. Levi smiled at the sight, sitting in the comfortable computer chair the meeting instructor would normally sit in.

"It looks much better, I'll admit. It's more.. comfortable? There's more of a home feel than before. Oh.. You've even out up some paintings?" He noticed the picture of Jesus hung on the wall, and the name of the church painted in red over it. "It's nice."

"Thank you.. It was a good investment on my part. I put in some of my own money. The newer members of out support group helped paint. A few of them are regulars at the shelter. One boy, Eren, is who I'm going to assign you to."

"Assign?"

"Well yes, I was assigned to you when you first came in, and I helped you get off the streets and get clean. Since he's the only one without a support leader, I have no choice but to give him to you. It'd be unfair to give another support leader another case when they already have two or three while you have none. I see a lot of you in him.. I almost took him myself."

"Why didn't you then?" "Well, when I heard you were coming in, and considering the job, I knew it was meant to be!"

"Oh god..." Levi mumbled, rolling his eyes. "He better not be some whiny brat!"

"No no, he's a good kid. He's seventeen, comes from a broken home.. His mother died when he was nine, and his farther is an absent drunk. He's living with his sister, Mikasa who is struggling to keep a roof over both of their heads. With Eren's addiction, its had for him to keep a job. He started using at fifteen, around the same time you did. I think you can offer him much more help than I can. I'm trusting you with him. Eren has much potential, just as you did at that age."

"Then I guess it'd make more sense for me to help him then.." Levi sighed, slowly lifting his body from the chair. "Is he here?"

"He'll be coming to the meeting tonight at six."

"Does he come faithfully? I cant work with someone who isn't serious about getting help." Levi narrowed his eyes, grinding his teeth.

"Calm down, he's here most of the time. Nine times out of ten.. Just as you did." 

"Fine.." He sighed, folding his arms over his chest. "I look forward to meeting him tonight.. Hopefully he'll behave.. If he's anything like me, we should get along fine."

"Lets hope so." Rose smiled, taking a step towards Levi. "I think you both will get along just fine.." She smiled sweetly, flashing her dimples. "You wont have to wait too long, he'll be here in an hour or so.. He tends to come in early since he's living at the shelter and dinner is served an hour before the meeting."

Levi looked own at his watch, even though it was off by a few minutes,

"So he should be here within the next forty five minutes or so.."

"Indeed he should be.. We can go wait for him down stairs for him, okay?"

Levi nodded in agreement, following Rose's lead and heading downstairs with her.

The dining room was starting to fill up with those living in the shelter. Most of the people ranged from the ages of fifteen to fifty. Addiction comes in all shapes, sizes, ages, and races. Though the highest percent of those living within the Church's shelter were fairly young, around the age of twenty. When Levi was around the median age when he was admitted into the Sacred Hearts Shelter, under the close eye of Rose Myrtle, the forty year old pastor's wife, determined to get Levi clean. 

  

A half hour later, the tall, seemingly muscular and handsome brunette walked in with his held hung down, almost bumping into the older man he walked by, rushing to the line to get his food. His hair was neatly brushed, but his clothes looked as if they seen better days. His brown coat had a few holes scattered around, and his white shirt looked as if it should be brighter. 

"Oh, Eren!" Rose called out, a big smile on her face. 

The young boy turned around quickly, waving when he seen who was calling his name.

"Ro-" His already large, emerald green eyes enlarged even more as they met the steel, narrow eyes of Levi; a faint blush covered his cheeks. Quickly he snapped out of if, turning back to get his plate of food from Hanji. He scurried over the nearest seat, sitting with his back to Levi and Rose. 

After every few bites, Eren found himself looking back at the older man with a flushed expression, he cold feel the cold glare from Levi, who was immediately interested. 

"So that's him, huh?" Levi mumbled, watching Eren as he ate. "I should go say hi." 

"Let him eat first!" Rose pulled at Levi's arm as he stood up, by he resisted, walking over to the young boy regardless. 

"Eren." Levi sat himself down beside him, feeling the warmth admitted from Eren due to the lack of distance between them. "My name is Levi." He held out his hand, giving Eren a firm shake. "I'll be your new coach."

"Ni-nice to meet you." Eren spoke softly, his cheeks getting hotter. 

"Oi... Rose told me about you. I didn't expect you to be so damn bashful. I don't like it." Levi raised a brow, keeping his eyes stuck on Eren's.

"I'm sorry.." The younger boy looked down at the food on his plate, pushing it around with his fork.

"Hopefully you grow out of it. We'll be seeing a lot more of each other.." "Yes.. Eventually I will.." 

"your.. Your eyes.." Levi brought his cold finger tips to Eren's face, touching his cheeks gently as the boy's hard turned towards him slowly. 

"What about them.." 

"They.. they're beautiful." 

"Thanks?" Eren pulled his face away from the others touch, looking back down towards his pate. 

"Sorry. They just.. Never mind. That's not important." 

Eren sighed, taking his last few bites of food. 

"It'll be six soon, are you the new meeting leader?" 

"I am." 

"We should get going then.." Eren stood up slowly, looking at the clock on the wall. "We only have a few more minutes." 

"If you lead, I'll follow." Was his response, watching Eren's body movements. "He reminds me so much of Isabel... Those eyes.. His voice.." Levi thought to himself. "Even the way he walks." 


	2. Tempation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * NSFW! Mature audiences ONLY

At six o'clock on the dot, both Eren and Levi walked up to the meeting room, being the first ones there.

Levi sat down in the insturctors chair, eren took the seat next to him, sitting down awkwardly.

"What the hell is your problem?" Levi sucked his teeth, tapping Eren's shoulder roughly. "I'm talking to you kid."

"I.. I.. It's nothing!" He pressed his lips shut, his hands clenched tightly together between his thighs. "Don't bother. I'm not worth your time, honestly."

"Why would you say that?" Somehow, his mood lightened, changing the the tone in his voice.

"I'm fine the way I am." Eren reached his shaky hand up to his neck, searching to the point where it it turned red.

Levi watched attentively at how the boy scratched, sitting uneasily in his seat. Eren began to fidget in his chair; his legs twitching, bouncing up and down.

"Oi.. When's the last time you shot up?"

"Huh?" Eren asked innocently, looking over with a blank expression. "I've been clean!"

"For how long? A week tops?! You're craving! I can tell! Your neck is red.. Your arms-" he grabbed them both, pulling them closer to him. "I can see clearly where you've shot up! This is new. I'd say a day or two!"

"You know nothing about me Levi!" Eren scolded, ripping his arms from the others grasp. "Fuck off! You act like I'm not trying, you-"

"You what? You think I've never been through this before?! I've relapsed more times than I can fucking count! Don't you dare throw that up in my face!"

"Just leave me alone! I don't need this shit!"

Without hesitation, Eren stood up quickly from his chair, storming out of the room. Levi followed him, bumping into a few members as they walked in.

"Eren you brat! Get back here, I'm trying to help your sorry ass!"

"Leave me alone!" He picked up the pace, almost running towards his room.

"Stop and listen to me!" Levi jogged, catching up to him. "Eren!"

"What?!" He halted, looking back at the other with red, teary eyes.

"Let me help you.." Levi panted, getting a sudden warm feeling in his chest. "I'll help you get clean. You have to trust me."

"I don't trust anyone. Don't flatter yourself." The other cringed, turning back to walk to his room. "And don't bother trying to help me. I'll be fine."

"You say that as if I won't follow you."

"You're awfully persistent Levi."

"People hate it, yet I don't see it as a bad thing." He shrugged, following Eren down the long hallway to his room.

Eren struggled to get the key out of his pants pocket, missing the keyhole numerous times before getting it open. He sighed with relief as he stepped over the threshold.

Before Eren had the chance to close the door, Levi quickly stepped in, wedging his foot between the door and the frame.

The room was painted a darker shade of red, with a dark brown carpet lining the floor. It was one big open room with a door leading into the bathroom. Against the middle wall was Eren's full size bed, with a night stand to the left, and a dresses full of his clothing to the right. Directly across was a long table, holding up the 90's television that only offered basic cable and had a DVD player hooked up to it. There was only one window and a fan that looked as if it didn't work. The lights in the room were dim, but bright enough to see everything. Eren had a white lamp resting on his nightstand.

"I'm not done with you yet." He stepped in, closing the door behind him. "You're under my watch, I'm going to make sure you're alright. You better not have anything in here either. I'm checking every possible place I can think of."

"I already used it. There's none left.. I have nothing else to shoot up. Don't waste your time."

"I've used that line a million times. I'd always say I had no coke laying around and it'd be in my pocket. Or I had no pills, but they'd be under my pillow. I know all the lines, I know all the lies. You can't use them on me. I won't let you."

"Among many things, one thing I am not.. is a liar. Check. You'll find nothing. Just my empty needle in the nightstand." Eren folded his arms over his chest, towering over the shorter man.

"Tch. You can't stop me even if you tried. I must see this with my own eyes."

"Fine. Though I don't know why you care."

"You're a lot like someone I used to know. At least I can see a lot of her in you.. Tell me something Eren."

"Hm?" He wondered who Levi was speaking of.

"When you're sober, and I mean for a long period of time when you're not craving, how would you describe yourself?"

"This is, well, random.." He cleared his throat, laying down on his bed. "Um. I'd say I'm more energetic, I.. I'm not really as bashful as you thought. I can be very outspoken at times. But.. Sometimes it depends who I'm around."

"What makes me so different?"

Levi asked, opening and closes the draws in Eren's dresses, rummaging through his clothes. When he reached his underwear draw, Levi blushed subconsciously, seeing the seemingly tight fitting boxers Eren wore. In the back of his mind, he envisioned the seventeen year wearing them. His head slowly turned towards Eren.

"I.. I don't know." The teen sighed, playing with his fingers innocently. "I guess, you staring at me made me nervous.."

"You were blushing a lot.." 

"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Twenty six. You're seventeen, right?"

"Yes.."

"When do you turn eighteen?"

"Not for another six months.."

"Damn.." Levi mumbled to himself.

"Why?"

"Oh, uh.. Nothing. I was curious."

Levi ventured around the tiny open room, checking under Eren's pillows, under the mattress, in the bathroom, under the sink and every other nook and cranny he could possibly think off. He walked out of the bathroom, standing there with his arms folded, looking down at Eren.

"You're clean."

"I told you."

"Shut up brat. I had to make sure."

"L-Levi.."

"What is it?"

"Why me? Why'd you choose me to watch over?"

"To be frank, I didn't. But, I think I would have chosen you anyways."

"Really?" A smile tugged at the corner of Eren's lips; he sat up slowly, looking cheerfully at Levi. "I'm grateful."

"Don't flatter me none. I see a lot of her in you.. And honestly, some of me too. But.."

"But what?"

Levi sat at the edge of the bed, holding Eren's hand gently.

"But you have to prove to me you want to get clean. I don't care how many times you fuck up. I want your end result to be clean. You're young.. I don't think you want your life to be taken over by heroine."

"I.. I don't. I want to go to school, and.. And I wanna study music!"

"Music, huh?"

"I used to sing, but.. I feel like I've lost my voice."

"Can I tell you something?" Levi leaned in closer to Eren. "I'd love to hear what you sound like.."

"You.. You would?" The blush reappeared on the younger man's cheeks; his breathing becoming irregular, and his heart beating faster.

"Yes.. Sing for me."

"Now?"

"No.. When you're clean for over a month. I'll take you out, and I'll make you sing. I'll give you a reason to sing, trust me."

"I already told you, I don't-"

"Trust anyone... I know." Levi finished the saying, shaking his head. "There's something else we have I'm common then. I'll have to learn to trust you as well." He gripped Eren's hand tighter, leaning in closer to his face; feeling the others irregular breaths upon his own face. "Do you think you'll give me a reason to trust you?" Levi's tone was deeper, yet more mellow. His voice remained soft.

"Y-yes Levi. But will you do the same for me?"

"We'll have to find out." He smirked, pulling his face away again, then removing his hand from on top of Eren's. "I'm more than a half hour late for the meeting."

"No. We both are.. We should get going."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Levi tried his best to form a smile. Unfortunately, it wasn't something he was used to, never really having a reason to smile.

* * *

 

Rose lead the meeting, giving Levi an angry glare as he walked in. Four other men, looking around the ages of twenty five to thirty sat around her. Levi and Eren both took a seat. Eren moved his seat closer to Levi's, smiling gently.

Every few minutes or so, Levi could feel the eyes of the other analyzing his body. He looked over at Eren with a raised brow, catching the younger man off guard. His cheeks turned red, looking back towards Rose.

"Eren, would you like to speak?" Rose said after on of the other men finished talking.

"Sure.." He mumbled before clearing his throat. "This week I.. I relapsed again. I finally had the chance to go out and see my sister. I was.. I was gonna stay with her for the weekend. But on the train ride back, I ran into an old friend of mine who I.. Well, I used to get the stuff from him." Eren looked down at crease of his arms, and the small white mark that surrounded the area his needle penetrated. Softly, he grazed over them with his fingers, tensing up slightly. "I had some money on me and bought some. I rushed back home and got my needle as quick as I could. I was able to shoot up twice, saving my second round for the next morning.. It felt _amazing_.." He laughed purely out of the nervous feeling that resided in his chest. "Yet now, I feel like a failure. I've let everyone down, including myself. I was clean for a whole month, almost to the dot.. Mikasa was so proud of me, even my father patted me on the back for the good work I was doing; staying off the streets and not getting myself into trouble. I felt good about myself then.. I.. I wanna feel that way again.." His head turned to Levi's with tears filling up in his eyes. "I will stay clean, and I will find my voice Levi.. I swear on everything I love that I will."

"I trust that you will." Levi spoke, not sure as to why he even trusted the boy's words, but something deep inside made him believe the words spoken were true.

Eren smiled in response, looking back at Rose, indicating his story was finished.

For some reason, Levi felt there was more to the story than what Eren told, but asking now was not the right time. Since they've met, Levi's been on Eren's case, now would be the time tort things cool down. First, Eren must learn to trust his coach and let things go from there. As of right now, the two men are only acquaintances with more in common than they bargained for.

* * *

 

After a few days, Levi successfully moved into the living quarters on the church grounds.

In the living quarters, there are three long hallways. Hallway one and two, containing ten rooms each, all single bedrooms with a bathroom, were dedicated to those who were under the close eyes of their coaches. Hallways three, also called the coaches hallway, was just as it was called. This hallways only contained of six larger bedrooms, providing a closet, a bigger bathroom and newer television sets with more up to date furniture. Instead of the uncomfortable full size mattress, the coaches were provided with a queen size. Also, a laundry unit was placed at the end of the hallway, though it can be used by all living there.

Levi replaced the sheets on the bed with grey ones, laying a navy blue comforter over the top with matching pillow cases. His walls were a tan color, but we're better than the eggshell white he used to have. He wasn't find on the color, but it was better than off-white.

His room was a similar set up to Eren's, just slightly bigger, and had the closet space, so he had no need for a dresser. Levi hung all his clothing anything, including his pants.

The same night he moved in, right after making his bed and vacuuming the carpet clean, sprayed the room with Lysol, turning on the ceiling fan and opening the window to get any germs out. Quickly, he disinfected the closet, washing down the walls with a rag dipped in a bleach and water solution.

He carefully hung his shirt, arranging them by color and type. He rummaged around in his suitcases looking for his pants hangers, clipping all his jeans to the special hangers, ordering them by the wash of the jeans. His shoes lined up perfectly on the floor of the closet, arranged by style. Sneakers, boots, shoes, his pair of slippers, then dress shoes.

He bought a small organizer, with three medium size draws. He placed it in the corner of the closet, dedicating a draw to socks, one to his boxers, and the other towards his gloves and hats. He made sure he hung up his scarves.

-

Levi laid on his bed, watching a random move that was on tv. His phone stayed quiet in his hand, allowing him to remain undistributed.

After a long, and well deserved yawn, a knock came from his door. Confused, Levi asked who it could be, especially at eleven o'clock at night.

"It's just me Levi.." Eren's voice rang in Levi's ears. He sighed in relief, yelling for him to enter the room.

"Hey Eren." Levi laid there in only his black, snug fitting boxers, and black socks. "What's up?"

"Wow.." Eren muttered to himself, surprised by how muscular Levi was. His tiny frame was a hell of a lot more muscular than his own.

"Wow what?" Levi narrowed his eyes, passing a dirty look off to Eren. "Eyes on the tv you perv."

"You're the one who's nearly naked!"

"It's eleven at night! You should be in bed!"

"I'm not ten!"

"You're sure as hell not an adult either!"

"I will be in less than a year!" Eren pouted, sitting on the edge of the bed, his arms folded over his chest.

"Don't yell.. It's late." He rolled his eyes, kicking Eren, though not very hard as a warning.

"Sorry.."

"Tch. Just don't do it again." Levi sat up, brushing his fingers through his silky black hair, thinking how he needs a trim.

"Can I ask you a question Levi?"

"What is it?"

"What do you think when you see me?"

"What do I see?" Levi raised his thin brow, looking curiously at the other. "I see someone who's broken.."

"Broken, huh?" Eren forced out a chuckle, holding back the tears in his eyes. "I guess you could say that."

"And someone who isn't really an idiot, he just makes dumb ass decisions, making him look like a huge idiot."

"What're you trying to say?"

"I meant what I said Eren!" He turned his head away, not knowing any better way to word what he was trying to get through to Eren.

"Do you think I deserve better than this?"

"You're awfully annoying with all these questions tonight but, yes.. I think so."

"I wish I believed the same.." Eren spoke in a mumble, biting on his nails nervously.

"That's dirty, don't bite your nails!" Levi slapped the others hand from his own mouth, giving Eren a look of disgust. "Tch.. Nasty ass brat."

"S-Sorry Levi.." He blushed in embarrassment, resting both of hands on his knees.

"Whatever. Just don't let it happen again."

"I.. I won't.." Eren took a deep breath, looking down at his bitten nails; his hands trembled, shaking into fist on his knees.

Levi watched Eren as he took each breath, noticing the expansion of his chest, and the way his nostrils flared when he released each breath. His cold glare made Eren uneasy, yet oddly at peace.

Their eyes met finally, after a few moments. Eren's cheeks burned red, while Levi had the same face, as if it was set in stone.

A single tear rolled down Eren's warm cheeks, making his blush even more. Though Levi normally saw tears as a sign of weakness, seeing those bright green eyes of his tear up brought him a sense of joy. The way the green specks in Eren's eyes glowed against the dimmed light from the lamp, mixed with the tears made them glow even brighter, giving Levi a warm feeling in his chest.

"Don't cry Isabel. It'll be alright." Levi reached his thumb under the others eye, wiping the tear from the bottom lid, then pressing his lips between the others eyebrows softly, resting his head gently to Eren's forehead.

"Is...Isabel?" Eren's voice was muffled against Levi's chest.

"Huh?" Levi's eyes sprung open, quickly backing away from Eren. "Sorry.. I.."

"You're blushing.."

"I am not you asshole!" Levi his his face behind his arm, looking as if he was guarding his face during a fight.

Indeed he was blushing from the inappropriate kiss and the lack of consciousness. Why, after it being almost ten years of his sister being gone, would his mind treat Eren the same? As if she was right there in front of him crying?

"Get out." Levi's eyes returned to their normal narrow position, giving Eren the look of murderous intent. "Now."

"Wh-What did I do?!" He stood up quickly, shaking like a leaf. "I.. I didn't do anything! I'm sorry!"

"Just leave brat! Get out!"

"L..Levi. Please, I-"

"I said now!"

"Fine.." Eren mumbled, looking down at his feet; watching them as he walked out of the room.

Utterly confused as to what it is that he did, Eren marched back to his own room in hallway two, slamming the door shut behind and charging towards his bed.

"I.. I didn't do anything to him, did I?" He wondered, hugging his pillow tightly. "Why.. Why did he get so angry with me?" His eyes filled up yet again. He birdied his face into the pillow, letting out his tears of anger, feeling guilty for making Levi feel the need to comfort him.

"His touch.. It was so warm." Eren though to himself. "His lips.. They.. They were so soft. His eyes, the way he looked at me, I.. My body feels so warm." He turned on to his back, rubbing his eyes free of their tears. "I.. I want him to touch me like that again."

Eren stripped down of his clothes, throwing them into the hamper on the side of the bed, then laying back down. The more he thought about the others touch, the more he wanted to be touched by him.

It was inevitable really, the thought alone was making Eren sweat. The thought of Levi's cold eyes watching him as his even colder fingertips ran across his steaming hot body, making Eren get goosebumps across his skin. He wondered what faces he'd make, and if he even had any other expressions besides serious and pissed off. Though the blush on his cheeks made Eren's heart skip beats.

"He.. He looked so cute with pink cheeks." Eren remember, gripping his hand tightly around his thick, throbbing member.

He imagined that same blushed face, and that same embarrassed expression on Levi's face as he topped him, feeling the tightness of the others entrance as he forced himself in.

"Fuck.." Eren's voice trembled as he jerked his hand faster, making his toes curl. "He'd look even better with his hands tied behind his back, and pushed down against my bed.. Muffled screaming and moaning as I fuck him hard and fast" He thought, imagining it perfectly in his mind.

With blushed cheeks, increased venerability, and the submissive form made Eren reach a quick orgasm. His body trembled in pleasure, the ecstasy flooding his veins as his eyes rolled back.

"I.. I want him so bad.." He moaned, biting on his bottom lip, wanting to touch himself even more.

His member throbbed, still rock hard though covered in it's sticky, thick, substance.

"I'd make him lick it off.." Eren grinned devilishly, slowly stroking his member again. "I'd make him my little slut.."

He turned over on to his stomach, propping his knees up, and reaching back his left hand, pressing his index finger gently to his tight entrance. He let out a soft moan as it slid in, the saliva that covered his fingers, as well as the cum, made excellent lube. He forced another finger in roughly, pumping it hard, penetrating himself deeper.

As he hit his spot, Eren's back arched quickly, making his knees weak. He bit down on the pillow, trying not to let out any screams. They vibrated against the pillow as he slid another finger in, his other hand stroking his rock hard member again.

"Maybe I'd let him fuck me.." Eren thought, not helping but to imagine what Levi look like with his already tight fitting boxers came off.

Would his fully erect member be able to fit in his boxers, or would he have no choice but to hurry and take them off before the ripped? Was he making up for his lack on height in other places? Levi probably is healthy, so Eren imagined he tasted amazing.


	3. Ten Years

"Rose.." Eren sat down beside her at the table durning breakfast. He had scrambled eggs, two pieces of bacon and some toast on his place. "Have you seen Levi? We.. We haven't talked in a few days. I um, I went by his room every morning but he's never there."

"I talked to him last night.." She took a sip of her dark coffee, looking deep in thought. "As a matter of fact, I seen him not too long ago. You must have just missed him. I think he's at the cemetery actually."

"Why would he be there?"

"Today is the anniversary of his sister's death. That could be why you haven't seen much of him these past few days. He prefers to not talk to anyone this time of year."

"He.. He had a sister?" Eren hummed, looking down at his plate. "maybe that's her.." He muttered under his breath.

"Yes, and older sister, her name was Isabel. Very pretty young lady, she was very young when she passed. It's been ten years today. She was only nineteen."

"That name.." His eyes bulged. "Do you know how she died?"

"No, I'm not sure. Levi never told me, but I was never brave enough to ask." She shrugged her shoulder, enjoying her cup of coffee. "Hey! Where are you going?!" She turned her head as Eren ran out of the room. "Your food!"

"I'll be back!" He responded, heading east towards the cemetery. "Dammit, I don't know which one he's at.. Think Eren, Think.." Eren let out a sigh, standing in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the church. "He's never mentioned where he's from.. But he did leave early, so it must be a long train ride. Maybe it's on the upper east side? No.. I don't think he grew up with a lot of money. Maybe that huge one on the west side of the city.. I can't see him there with all those people, he seems like a simple man, yet classy. It must be in central, the one near the park. The grass is green, there's a lot of trees, and it's seemingly peaceful.. Yeah, I'll head there. Forty minutes by train, then a twenty minute bus drive. That's enough reason to wanna leave early.. Especially on a Saturday morning, it'll be busy."

Eren rushed back inside, making his way to his room, getting money for the bus, and his subway card that only had two rides left on it for the month. He figured if he used them today, Mikasa would just have to pick him up next weekend. H made sure to wear his best clothes, which happened to be dark wash jeans and a white v-neck shirt. He grabbed his coat and ran out of the door. 

Eren did a mad dash out of the shelter's main entrance, bumping into the pedestrians on the street as he ran towards the station about a half mile away. He only had twenty minutes to spare. Thankfully, his two years in cross country came in handy at a time like this. He wasn't skilled in much, but he was fast. Before dropping out, he was ranked number eight in his division. Not bad for a teenage junkie.

\---

He arrived at his train right on time, rushing in to get a seat since he hated standing in the crowd. He sighed as he sat down. He took out his phone to play a game and check his messages, trying to releave himself from the high anxiety levels he'd get while riding the train. No matter how many times he rode, a part of him still found it stressful. After a few moments, two girls sat on the sides of him, smiling and twirling their hair to get his attention, but he was too focused on his phone, and thought of seeing Levi to even notice.

"Central... Central..." He mumbled to himself as he put his phone back in his pocket so he could pay closer attention to the stops the train made. "Alright, it's the next one.. Finally."

As the train come to a halt at its next stop, Eren stood up and squeezed his way to the exit, rushing out of the tight space without saying his goodbyes to the flirty females, even though they waved in his direction.

His constant fear of being late made his heart pound in his chest. Eren ignored everyone around him as he exited the subway quickly. When he finally reached sunlight, he checked the bus schedule on the post outside of the subway entrance, the next bus leading to central was coming in ten minutes. 

"Good.." He smiled, wrapping his navy blue scarf tighter around his neck, and zippering up his jacket, though it didn't help much. The cold breeze almost paralyzed his body. With a sigh of relief, and a small smile that crossed Eren's face, he was genuinely happy that within the next hour or so he's get to see his new friend, if he could even call Levi his friend was something that crossed his mind a lot within these past few days. Nevertheless, he was excited. 

Maybe today he'd finally find out more about this Isabel that Levi has mentioned, and maybe he'd find out why Levi made the mistake of messing up there names. Erern figured he must look a lot like Levi's dead older sister, and that Levi helping him was purely out of pity, or maybe he was truly trying to help Isabel and not him. Though he didn't let the thought bother him for the moment, his goal was to go see Levi, once that goal was complete, his thoughts could take over like usual.

As he always did, Eren watched the people as they walked by. Some as couples, some as groups of friends but most of the people he seen walked alone or with a pet. That made him feel better. He had no ones hand to hold as he waited for the bus, nor did he have anyone who was important to him, yet here he is, going out of his way to see Levi, someone who has a weird obsession with call him brat, and being extremly defensive.

Two minutes later than expected, the bus finally pulled up. He paid the fee, sitting all the way in the back. The bus ride shouldn't be too long, about seven stops, Eren kept reminding himself. This part of town was a huge trigger for him. The smell in the air, the surrounding buildings, even some of the people, reminded him of the times he'd get him. This part of town, only a few blocks over, where poverty started to settle in, was where he'd shoot up with his old friends. Not far from the bus stop, about seven streets south from there, is an abandoned building Eren would go to meet his dealer. Then he'd walk four blocks over to the cafe, order his usual hot coffee with an espresso shot, and while waiting for it to be made, he'd quickly shoot up in the bathroom, coming out with red eyes and an overly relaxed body. He'd feel numb really, almost dropping his coffee every time it'd be handed to him. It was as if every muscle in his body would shut down for a half hour. He'd sit down at the table in a daze, waiting for his body to regain it's feeling. In the mean time, his coffee would go cold. He'd make his way back home and heat it up in the microwave, finally getting a chance to enjoy it, even though it wasn't as good the second time around.

-

Eren got off at his stop, running towards the huge cast iron gates, across from Central Hyde's Park. He scanned his surroundings, hoping he'd spot Levi, but the tall trees and thick bushes made that harder than he first imagined. He took a deep breath as he passed though the cemetery's entrance.

"Levi!" Eren called out, walking down the dirt road that crossed straight through. He looked left and then looking right after every few step he took. "Levi!"

"What the hell is this brat doing here..?" Levi looked over from the tombstone, seeing that Eren has just passed him. "Over here brat!"

"Oh!" He turned back with a bright smile on his face, jogging over to Levi.

Eren keeled down next to him. Levi was dressed nicely in a black blazer, black jeans, and a soft red tie. A dozen roses were held weakly in his grip. His hair was pushed back, and looked as if it had been trimmed. Eren's eyes were glued to the classy version of Levi.

"You look.. Um.. Very handsome Levi."

He responded with a quick nod, placing the roses over the grave.

"She had just turned eighteen the day before she died.." Levi cleared his throat, touching the engraved name on the stone. "It was a drive by. A bullet went staring through her head, in between her eyes, then out of the back of her skull.. I was standing there when it happened."

"Why're you telling me?" Eren was surprised, feeling his heart drop at the sound of Levi's voice.

"To stop you from asking." His voice was low, and seemingly deeper than usual.

"I.. I thought you didn't like me, Levi."

"I do, but not much." He shrugged one shoulder, knowing deep down he was happy to have Eren by his side.

"It's better than not liking me at all I guess, right?"

"Yeah.." Levi stood up, brushing off the dirt from his pants. "Fuck.. I hate getting dirty.. Let's go."

"Huh? We are we going?"

"Out to eat. Then you're going back to the shelter."

"Where are you gonna go?"

"I don't know yet."

Eren stood up, brushing himself off clean. He stood in front of Levi, looking concerned.

"Levi, look me in the eyes."

"Fuck off, Brat. Let's go eat. I'm hungry. I parked the car over there.." He pointed to the black sports car in the middle road. "Don't look at me like that, I'm borrowing it till I save up the money for my own."

"Oh.. Who's car-"

"It's a rental, okay?. Chill out with the questions."

"Fine." Eren sighed, walking towards the car. "I'm hungry too, so let's go."

"Shut up shit-head." Levi took the keys from his coat pocket, opening the passengers side door for Eren, then getting in on his side. "Get in and let's go."

"Thank you Levi." He smiled, watching Levi as he say down.

"Whatever.. Let's just go."

"Okay." Eren chuckled. "Why have you been avoiding me? It's been four days.."

"I'm not.. But you can't expect me to be up your ass all the time just because I'm your coach. I have a life of my own."

"Up my.. Oh no." He blushed, looking out the window. "I think it'd be the other way around.." He said under his breath, blushing harder at himself.

"Stop talking shit and mumbling. It's annoying."

"Sorry.. I was talking to myself."

"Don't make a habit of it.."

"I.. I.. Feel very normal with you."

"Normal? You mean comfortable?"

"Y-yes. I don't feel I need to hide around you."

"Are you high fuckstick?!" Levi sucked his teeth, driving fast towards the nearest diner. It was almost noon, and Levi didn't want to miss breakfast.

"No." He laughed, looking back over to Levi. "I was craving at first but.. I feel better now that I'm with you."

"Stop getting so sentimental, it's weird."

"Sorry.. Right now, I don't feel like getting high. I haven't felt this way in a very long time."

"Good.."

"We've only just met, but.. I think Rose made a good match."

"You're making it sound like she put us on a blind date, brat."

"I don't mean to, I'm sorry."

"Tch.. It's fine." He sighed, shaking his head. "Have you ever been here?" He parked in front of Thalia's Cafe, looking over at Eren.

"Y-yes but.. I don't want to go inside."

"Well I have to take a piss, and I heard their coffee is good."

"It's very good but, I can't go in." He looked down at his feet in shame, shaking his head no repeatedly. "I.. I'm not allowed."

"Why not?" He put the car in park, raising an eye at the bashful teen.

"I used to.. Shoot up in the bathroom here." Eren whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

"Why do you cry so much? It's pissing me off. But fine, I'll go in and pee then we can go out to eat somewhere else, but first.. You need to change. You look a mess."

"A mess?! This is my nicest outfit!"

"Jeans and a white tee shirt is your nicest outfit? I'm concerned for your health now." He sighed loudly, slamming the car door as he exited the vehicle, walking into the cafe and heading towards the bathroom.

"What's with that guy? There's nothing wrong with jeans and a T-shirt! That angry midget.." Eren pouted, folding his arms over his chest.

"Eren!" He heard a voice call his name, making his heard turn, looking out of the car window.

"J-Jean?! Hey!" His cheeks burned red, surprised to see an old friend of his on the street.

Eren rolled down the window, peeking his head out towards Jean. He was tall and slender, nice brown eyes, and a long face, with light brown hair, though his undercut was a dark brown. Eren figured he dyed it that way, though he never really gave Jean's appearance much though.

"How have you been Eren? You look, well, clean." Jean scratched the top of his head, trying his very best to sound nice. "I know Mikasa must be happy about that. How is she?"

"She's good, and proud of me. I'm very grateful to have her in my life."

"You should feel that way, she's an amazing woman." Jean took a few steps closer to the car. "You're lucky to still have her in your life. You know.. I really do miss her."

"No one wants to hear your pity story Jean." Eren rolled his eyes, starting to roll the passengers side window up. "You can leave now. It was nice seeing ya!"

"H-hey! You idiot! Don't-"

"Go away!" Eren yelled in response.

"You bitch! Roll down the window! What the hell is your problem?"

"You're only talking to me to get information on Mikasa. She's not interested anymore, so back off!"

"She'd be lucky to have someone like me!"

Eren rolled the window down half way.

"You really think so?"

"You must really want me to smash your face in, huh?!" He slammed his hand against the car, pushing himself towards Eren.

"Do we have a problem, asshole?"

Jean turned himself around to face the deeper voice that came from behind. He looked down, only to see Levi, who's not much taller than five feet, daring to stand up to him, making Jean laugh.

"What do you want pipsqueak?!" He taunted, giving Levi a sly grin. "What is it? You feel bad for Eren? Trust me, you shouldn't.. That boy has issues. I've known him for a long time and I've never seen him clean!"

"Is that so?"

"There's no point in getting involved. He should be left in the streets, taken out like the trash that he is!"

"I've heard enough. Step away from my car." Levi calmly fixed his tie, though feeling anger fester up in his core. "You have about three seconds before I snap."

"Is that a threat?" The other leaned his body into the black sports car, folding his arms over his chest.

Meanwhile, the street walkers gathered around, mumbling to those around him. Some took out their phones and camera's, waiting for a fight to break out.

"Do you really want to be embarrassed in front of all these people?" Levi shook his head, walking towards the taller male. "Then so be it."

"What the hell are you gonna do? It's not like you can reach my face!"

"Oh?"

Levi chuckled to himself, quickly shoving Jean harder into the side of the car. His small fists grasped onto Jean's tan jacket firmly, holding him down.

"Get off me!" Jean struggled, squirming around like a fish out of water, trying to break free of the others grasp, only making Levi use more strength.

"You're weak."

Levi slammed his knee into the others groin, letting go of him slowly as he body made it's way to the ground. Jean reached his hands down, cupping them over his crotch, crying out in pain, only to make Levi grin.

"Weakness is a sigh of opportunity for others. Remember that.. You're all talk."

The bottom of Levi's shoe pressed against the soft, light brown hair on the top of Jean's head. "You're lucky I let you get away with just a knee to the balls. The next time you touch my car, or insult Eren, I'm coming for your neck. Are we clear?"

Levi stood there for a moment, waiting for a response from the other. His eyes darkened and narrowed.

"Oi.. Are we clear?" He spoke louder, even though he knew Jean heard him the first time.

"Y-yes." Jean mumbled through the pavement.

"Good. Now I'm going to leave you here, on the sidewalk, like the trash that you are." He stepped over Jean, walking to the drivers side of his car.

"Levi, you didn't have to do that." Eren looked down towards his knees, drawing small circles with his index finger on his jeans.

"You're not trash."

Levi slammed the car door shut, taking a deep breath as he slid the key into the ignition, starting the car.

"Huh?"

"I said you're not trash. And I don't like people touching my things, so he shouldn't have rested his body on the car like it was his. I see that as disrespect."

"O-oh.."

"I'm bringing you back home." Levi sped off, leaving tire marks in the rare view mirror.

"Why?!" Eren jolted up, turning his face towards the driver. "I wanna stay with you!"

"I have things to do."

"Well, let me come with you! Please!?"

"No."

"Why not?!" He pouted.

"Because you're a brat who can't even stick up for himself. That's why."

"I.. I could have fought him off if I wanted! I don't need you for protection!"

"Tch. You're weak just like him."

"Weak?! I.. I'm not weak!"

"Emotionally, you're weak. Physically, you're weak. Spiritually, you're even weaker. You can't expect to be strong if you have no sense of self."

"I don't even know what that means.." Eren mumbled, looking back towards the open road in front of him.

"It means you need to focus on getting clean before you can see yourself as strong. It takes someone who's strong to get clean, and stay clean."

"I've been clean for a week now.."

"Good." Levi petted the top of Eren's head, not knowing how to truly praise him. In that instance, Eren blushed at the contact, making his body tense up. His body reacted when words wouldn't come out of his mouth; Goosebumps trailed across his skin. "Are you cold?"

"N-no.. Why?"

"Goosebumps?" His hand slid down the side of Eren's face, stopping to feel the temperature of his face. "Well, your face is warm.." He brought his hand down to Eren's holding it lightly. "Your hands are freezing though. Are you getting sick maybe?"

"No! I'm fine. Just drop me off.." Eren ripped his hand away from Levi's, mumbling words to himself as he looked out of the car window.

"What's your problem Eren?" Levi let out a loud sigh, not wasting his breath to talk to the teen anymore.

"Can you tell me something?" Asked the teen after a few moments of an awkward silence. "W-Why'd you help me out back there?"

"With that punk?"

"Yes.."

"Because it's my job. Don't ask dumb questions."

"You're job?"

"I have to make sure you're safe, right? Make sure that you stay clean and that you remain on the right path. That's my job. To watch over you like some babysitter basically." He shook his head, parking the car in the lot behind the church. "Now get out."

"Aren't you leaving?" Eren tilted his head as he car shut off. He watched Levi as he stepped out of the vehicle.

"Are you gonna stay in the car all night? Get out."

"Y-yes, sorry sir!"

"Sir?!" Levi almost broke his neck to look back at the other. "Jesus Christ, I'm not fifty years old. Chill out with that shit."

"Sorry.." He mumbled, walking a few steps behind Levi.

His green eyes wandered, admiring the frame of the shorter male who claimed himself as Eren's babysitter. What is it about him really? That's what Eren yearns to know. What is it about this man that's driving him crazy? The man who treats him with respect, regardless of his past, yet this same man can be completely rude, revolting, and down right scary with the glare from his small, steel eyes. Maybe that's what alluring, his thin eyebrows and cold glare. The way his brows scrunch together when he's angry is undeniably cute, aside from being intimidating. And his eyes, they seem to pierce right through any person, leaving their body numb.

Eren picked up his pace, closing the gap between the two of them. His eyes continued to study the body in front of him.

"Short, yet manly.." He thought. "His body is amazing. There's no denying that.. He must work out a lot. I can't help but wonder what the parts of him I haven't seen look like."

Flashbacks to that night stirred around in the teens brain, making the spot where Levi's lips touched burn. A small sigh exited Eren's lips.

"Stop staring. It's creepy." Levi stopped, turning around to face Eren, who wasn't paying attention, bumping into him lightly. "Watch out."

"S-sorry! Oh god, I stepped on your foot! Are you-"

"Shut up, I didn't even feel it." Levi rolled his eyes, taking the key to his room out of his pocket. "You followed me all the way up here. Is there something else you need?"

"How can you ask me that in such a monotone voice? Do you even mean it?"

"Eren, I wouldn't ask at all if I didn't care. Not that I care much, but me asking is proof enough that I do in the slightest way."

"You care about me?" Eren's eyes light up like fireworks on the Fourth of July, wanting to wrap his arms around Levi tightly.

"Don't get too excited. It's my job to care."

And just like that, the light in his eyes burned out.

"Right.. You're job. I guess I'll be leaving then. Sorry to have-"

"Wait." Levi took Eren by his collar, forcing him into the room.

An inevitable blush painted Eren's cheeks at the brute force. Though he was confused, and curious, he wasn't against being in Levi's room again. It was almost nostalgic.

"You didn't have to come see me earlier." Levi cleared his throat, letting go of Eren's jacket collar, fixing it for him as a way to apologize.

"I wanted to come see you.."

"Why?" He walked over to his closet, hanging up his blazer.

"Why? I.. I felt I needed to."

"You don't need to, but I guess your company isn't that bad."

"Are you saying you enjoy me being around?"

"Don't just stand there, sit down."

"Sorry." His head hung as he walked over to Levi's bed, sitting down so that his back would be facing the other.

"And stop saying sorry, it's annoying."

"Sor- I mean, okay. I won't say it anymore."

"Good." He took a deep breath, sitting opposite of Eren. "Don't ever feel like I'm someone important. It's not worth your time."

"That's random.."

"And don't think I'm someone who'll care for you twenty-four seven. Caring for someone takes a lot of effort."

"It's a waste of time for me to think you'd ever care about me, is that what you're saying, Levi?"

"In a nutshell, yes."

"I know you don't. And I know you never will. But the way you look in my eyes makes me think different. Yet.. I know when you at me, you don't see me, am I right? You see her, you see your sister.. The one who passed away ten years ago today?"

Levi remained silent, not wanting to admit his flaw. How he felt about Eren was something he couldn't put a name to. A voice in the back of his mind keeps pestering at him to protect Eren, keep him safe at all cost, and make sure he's safe. But why? The boy he's only know for a few weeks, the boy he's paid to watch over, the boy who is a younger version of his deceased sister, what makes him so important? For the life of him, Levi couldn't figure out what it was exactly about this brat that kept him up each night. He tried to distance himself, only to have Eren force himself closer. He kept clear of the teen for a few days and he ends up hunting him down. It hadn't occurred to Levi yet, but staying away only made the attraction stronger.

"So I'm right?" Eren finally spoke. "I'm her in your eyes?"

"You're a damaged, drug addicted, seventeen year old boy in my eyes. That's what you are."

"Damaged?" He forced a chuckled through his lips. "You think so? With all the shit I've been through, I'm way passed damage Levi."

"We've all been through shit. If anything, I'm just as broken as you?"

"Now I'm broken?"

"If you're past damaged, then you're broken, right?"

"I guess so.." He agreed.

"Then it's settled. We're both broken."

"What's you're story then, huh?" Eren fell back, letting his torso sink into the bed.

"My story? It's a five hundred page novel that hasn't yet been completed. Maybe I'll let you read it once it's complete."

"Your sarcasm is as good as ever."

"Isn't it?" He joined Eren, laying on his back next to him. There body's only an inch or two apart. Levi laid his head to the side, parallel to Eren's hips. He held back his faint blush. "What laundry detergent do you use?"

"What the..? Why do you ask?"

"I like the way it smells."

"It's gain..."

"Ah, okay."

"You're changing the subject again, huh?"

"I'm not. I was just asking a damn question.."

"Unless your life story consist of laundry detergent, I'd guess you're changing our topic of discussion."

"Well aren't you ballsy today.. Talking to me like that."

"I don't mean to be rude.. I feel like being blunt is the only way to get through to you."

"And what's the pros of getting through to me? How will that benefit you?"

"Maybe I'm not asking for my own benefit."

"Then why ask? It's not helping me any."

"But then again, maybe I am."

"Oi, just spit it out."

"See! You don't like when people beat around the bush! Being blunt with you is fun.. I'm learning new things about you everyday."

"You're annoying sometimes, you know that?"

"When you feel awkward, you like to insult me. Is that some defense thing you use?"

"Shut up, why defend myself from a brat like you?"

"See! You're doing it again!" Eren laughed, covering his face with his hands. "It's kinda cute, you know! How you act so tough!"

"Tough?"

"Huh?"

Realizing what he said, Eren quit cover his mouth, blushing with embarrassment.

"Sorry." He mumbled through pressed lips, not wanting to speak.

"Don't be. You're not wrong.."

"I'm not?!" He sprung back up, looking down at Levi with a wide smile. "So you don't hate me?!"

"There's only one person, well maybe two, people that I hate, and you're not one of them."

"Can I ask who those people are?"

"You can ask."

"Who are they? Who are these people you hate?"

Eren sat up, looking down at Levi, who kept his gaze off to the side.

"Beyoncé and Jay Z."

"What?! How can you hate them?!"

"I don't you idiot, it was a joke."

"But you said it with such a straight face.. How was I suppose to know?"

"Isn't that the funny part? You don't know."

Levi shook his head, looking up at the teen.

"Levi.. You need to smile or something. I've never heard to laugh either. You're always so... Angry.."

"I'm really not."

"I think so!" Eren pouted out his bottom lip, pressing his index into Levi's cheek, pushing it up to force a half smile.

"Don't touch my face." He smacked Eren's finger away, pushing his body up off the bed.

"Levi."

"Huh?"

"Thanks for today."

"You don't have to thank me, I should.. Never mind."

"You should what?" Eren pushed himself farther on to the bed, crossing his legs like a school boy. He tilted his head, listening to Levi intensively.

"Nothing."

"Tell me!" He whined, pouting again.

"Not with that face!" Levi looked away quickly to hide the forming blush on his face.

"Can I guess then?! Um.. Your mom, brother, uncle, a cousin, an aunt, an old friend, an ex girlfriend.. Um.. Maybe someone you used to work with. Am I even close?"

"Yes.. But I've never had a girlfriend."

"Me either." Eren shrugged, giving Levi a comforting smile.

"I was trying to get at something a little different than that." He sighed.

"Oh?"

"I haven't dated a woman because I'm not physically attracted to them. Are we clear?"

"So.. You like guys?"

"Yes.. I hope my sexuality isn't a problem with you. Who I like doesn't define my work ethic or-"

"Oh no! That's fine with me, trust me.. That won't change anything between us."

"Good, now if you don't mind, get out of my room. I'm going to take a shower and lay down. I'm going out tonight with some friends."

"You have friends?"

"Don't sound so surprised you idiot. Of course I do." Levi glared, sitting up on his bed.

"No I.. I didn't mean it like that! I just figured your friends would have visited your sisters grave with you today."

"Why would a friend go?"

"As moral support! If I didn't have my sister to visit our parents graves together, I'd make my friend come with me."

"There you go.. Being dependent on others. That's what I want you to break free of."

"Why?! It's not bad to have a shoulder to lean on."

"Get your own backbone." Levi sucked his teeth, finally getting himself off the bed.

As he walked into the bathroom, he stopped off his shirt, then undid his pants. Standing at the threshold between his room and the bathroom, he turned his head back towards Eren. With a cold glare and a serious tone, he mouthed: don't follow me. Then he closed the door behind him.

"Should I follow him, or not?" Eren questioned, racing to the bathroom door. "He'd kill me if I went in there.."

"Leave." Levi opened the door slightly to see Eren's tall, slender body in front of him.

Around his waist was a white towel, wrapped around his frame loosely. Eren pretend not to notice, forcing a neutral look on his face.

"Where are you going tonight?"

"Out to drink, now let me shower and take a nap. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I know a really good soup for when you're hungover!"

"Goodbye Eren." He shook his head, closing the door slowly.

"I can make you tea too! Which kind do you like?!"

"Bye Eren." He shut the bathroom door. "I like black tea, preferably earl grey with a teaspoon of honey. I'll call you when I wake up, come to my room with a cup."

"I'll see you in the morning with your cup of tea!" Eren's excited voice rang through Levi's ears like a high pitched whistle, making him cringe.

He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, looking at his reflection, wondering why it seemed to different that usual. The feeling of not knowing who the man looking back at him was put fare in his heart.

"Thinking about a seventeen year old like that is dead wrong.." He mumbled to his reflection.

Levi's reflection smirked back, shaking it's head slowly.

"If it's so bad, then why can't you stop? Hm? Why can't you help but feel glad that he hunted you down and came to see you at Isabel's grave? You stopped yourself twice today from opening up to him. Were you really going to tell him your life story? How you're the reason your sister is dead? How your mother disowned you? How your father abounded you? Didn't you want to blurt it out the moment he asked?! Oh poor, pitiful me! You're weak.. You see so much of him in you, don't you? You see seventeen year old you with Isabel's eyes. The only difference is Eren is that he's more talkative. But then again, he seems to be that way only with you.. Don't start caring about this boy because you feel pity.. And stop thinking those dirty thoughts you pervert. He's seventeen. You're almost ten years older than him."

"Pity?" Levi turned his back to the mirror, running his shaking fingers through his hair. "I don't pity that fucking brat. Me helping him is no reflection of myself. So what? I see me in him.. I see seventeen year old me. I don't pity him. Fuck.. I need to help him. I need to make sure he's clean. I need to make sure he's safe at all times. He's a gullible, stupidly honest teenage boy who needs guidance. Something I didn't have till I came here. I don't want him to turn out the way I did! So the fuck what if he's attractive? Those piercing green eyes.. His tall, slender body.. His long legs and soft brown hair..." His fingers tangled in his hair, gripping on the ends tightly. Clenching his teeth in anger, his body slid to the floor. "His lips.. Ears.. His long neck.. God dammit!"

With a balled fist, Levi punched the wall next him, leaving a few small crack. Tears of anger streamed down his cheeks. The regret of his thoughts were getting the best of him. Just knowing his attraction for this teenage boy was more than normal made him want to rip his heart right out of his chest.


	4. Drunken Nights

Instead of taking a rain check like he wanted, Levi figured it'd be better to get out for the night, than to stay in and wallow in self pity. He dressed regularly, dark blue jeans and a deep, white v-neck. He slipped on his black vans, and thrown on his grey pea coat, wrapping his black scarf tightly around his neck, fighting the temptation to wrap it even tighter and tying one end to the ceiling fan, then kicking a chair out from under him, thus, ending his misery.

As good as death sounded, he chose to live, taking his wallet and phone with him as he head out of the door.

Tonight, he was going out drinking with two weirdos working in the shelter's kitchen. Hanji and Mike. She wasn't so bad after having a few conversations. Levi learned she was a biology major in college, and is working on her masters at the state university. Aside from being extremely smart, she lacks some social skills. That seemed to be the one thing the two of them had in common.

But Mike was more on the normal side, freakishly tall, but normal, and nice on top of that. He's a marine, but was honorably discharged after ten years due to an injury that made him unable to fight. He was the same age as Erwin, making him thirty two. Levi found out his ex and Mike grew up together and are old friends. They almost enlisted together, but Erwin decided to work with his dad instead, doing construction work.

All together, they seemed like decent company. When Hanji offered for Levi to tag along for drinks after work, he figured it wouldn't be to bad, not until he got there at least.

When he walked into the bar, he seen his two new friends along with a familiar, buffed blonde laughing away like an idiot. Before he had the chance to turn around and walk out, Hanji spotted him, then called him over.

"Levi!" She waved her arms in the air. Clearly, she's already had a few. "Come sit!" She tapped the bar stool next to her.

"Fine." Levi muttered, sitting down between her and some strange old man. "Sorry I'm late, I over slept."

"It's ten at night and you were sleeping already? What an old man!" She laughed, taking a swig from her beer bottle.

"You're older than me, four eyes!"

"Hey! Hey! No need for name calling!" She winked, letting out an obnoxious giggle.

"Can I have a whiskey on rocks please?" Levi shook his head, getting the attention of the bartender.

"Whiskey you said?" The pretty woman with light auburn hair asked, batting her eyes at Levi.

"Yeah.. Thanks." He undid his scarf and unbuttoned his coat.

"Here you go." She passed the drink to him with a wink. "I'm Petra, just let me know if you need anything else."

"I will." He sighed, shooting back the liquor quickly. "Hit me again."

Looking down at the napkin that was under his glass, written in blue pen was a set of numbers with a heart next him, making him laugh slightly.

"Only if you promise to call me." She grinned, topping off his glass with whiskey.

"I'm not the type to make any promises." He grinned back as the rim of his glass touched his lips.

"Levi.." Mike leaned forward to see his face. He looked around to see if the bartender was near. She was over near the TV's, changing the station. "So, you never told me you dated Erwin. I would have thought twice about inviting him tonight."

"It makes no difference to me. As long as he doesn't open his mouth to me, we'll be fine."

"It's just that.. You seem uncomfortable."

"That's just his face." Erwin shrugged, sipping from his beer, it being his fourth one, giving him the nerve to talk.

"My face?" He nodded his head. "You used to.. Love? Well you pretended to anyways. But you were so high, you probably thought I was Billy Joel. I bet your childhood friend didn't know that either." Levi scoffed, slamming down his second glass.

"My love for Billy Joel has nothing to do with us." Erwin sighed.

"So it's true then.." Mike spoke. "You were using back then. I knew it.."

"I'm clean now though." Erwin tapped the side of his beer bottle repeatedly with his fingers. "It's only been a few months, but I'm getting by."

"Is that why you didn't enlist? You didn't want to be clean at that point? I had my suspicions then, fourteen years ago.."

"I'd hate to say it, even now, but when you're right Mike, you're right.. Hell, you're always right."

"I met him not too long after that, right before I turned eighteen." Levi chimed in.

Hanji cleaned her throat, excusing herself from the bar to use the bathroom. The whole mood of the bar changed, the tension in the air grew thick. The closer you got to the ex lovers, the harder it became to breath.

"You see, it was dark time when we met.." Levi had a few shot glasses lined up in front of him. He took one shot quickly, then took a deep breath. "I had just graduated high school with flying colors, and was starting out with my addiction. Since my birthday is at the end of the year, I graduated at seventeen.. I met him through my dealer at the time and we grew closer. I had just 'lost' my mom, Quote on quote, and I had no place to live, so I stayed with him.." Levi took his second shot. "You can guess the rest from there."

"You haven't changed Levi.. Have you?" Erwin chuckled to himself as he stood up from the barstool. "Yet you were the one who'd call me late at night to get high, right?" He took a few steps closer, leaning over to rest his elbow on the bar. "Or when you'd get horny, I was the one you called." A sly grin crossed his face. "Remember that I wasn't the only problem in our relationship."

"You were always the problem. Don't kid yourself." Levi glared over at the other, his steel eyes went dark, sending looks like tiny daggers.

"I think we both know after a few more drinks, you'll be in bed with me again." 

 

\-----

 

Unfortunately, Erwin was right. After a few more drinks and more arguments, somehow he woke up in his own bed with Erwin sleeping next to him.

"Oh what the fuck!" He though to himself, wanting to punch a whole in the wall.

He checked the time on his phone, it was almost noon. Since it was a Sunday, he had the day off. Levi thought of it as a grace period to recover from his hangover.

He noticed a few missed calls from Eren, ranging from eight a.m, to eleven thirty.

"What does he want?" He asked himself, forgetting what he told Eren the night before; calling him back after a long yawn. "Eren? Is everything okay?"

"Yes! I'm glad that you're finally awake!" Enthusiasm was clearly heard in Eren's voice, a vivid picture of Eren's bright smile danced around in Levi's mind. "Do you still want the cup of tea? I promised I'd make it for you.."

"Oh shit.. Yeah. Eren, let me take a shower, I still feel like crap." Levi muttered, hanging his head down low after propping himself up on the side of the bed, looking down over the edge. "Meet me in my room in an hour.."

"Earl grey you said? I'll make sure to have it ready! I hope it's good.."

"Stop yelling in my ear and don't be here a minute past twelve fifty-two, exactly an hour from now."

"Yes Levi. I'll see you soon!"

Eren hung up the phone, slipping into a pair of shoes to head out to the store. First, he needed tea bags and a mug, one he's sure Levi would like, and could keep as a gift. There was a community coffee pot in the kitchen he was free to use, so making the tea after that was no problem.

Levi dragged himself out of bed, pulling up a black pair of sweat pants to conceal his naked body. He noticed his reflection while looking down at his phone, feeling absolutely disgusted and angry at himself for last night, though he doesn't remember much of it. Nonetheless, he was ashamed of his actions, feeling as if he betrayed Eren.

"Get out of my bed, and out of my room. Now." Levi grabbed a lock of Erwin's golden hair, pulling hard to move the other mans body half way off of his bed. Erwin shot up quickly.

"Huh?!" He few drops of sweat dropped from his forehead. "Dammit Levi.." He sighed. "You can't wake me up nicely?"

"No dickhead. Now leave before I force you out of here. Consider this your only warning."

"Damn.." He yawned, sitting up in Levi's bed. "Can't I have a cup of coffee first?"

"No. Get out." Levi glared, picking up Erwin's clothes from the night before, tossing them at him. "I'm serious."

"What? You have company coming over?" Erwin asked, slipping his black shirt over his head. "Normally, you're ready for round two by now."

"As a matter of fact, I do have someone coming over." Levi stood with his arms folded over his chest, a serious yet calm look on his face. "It's the guy I'm sorta seeing."

"Oh? I wasn't aware. then I guess I'll make myself scarce."

"Good.. He'd be mad if he seen you here." Levi huffed, stomping off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. "You better be gone by the time I'm done taking a shit, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." He chuckled as he pulled up his jeans. "I'll be leaving now."

Quickly, Erwin put on his shoes, then took his jacket from the closet, swinging it over his shoulder. Without any goodbyes, he walked out of Levi's room, shutting the door softly behind him. The splitting headache he had was now beginning to throb. To him, a coffee and a nap sounded best.

While rubbing the tiredness from his eyes, he suddenly bumped into someone. In slight shock, his eyes popped open, looking straight at the brunette in front of him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying any attention." He sighed. "I should watch where I walk."

"It's fine.. Thankfully you didn't spill any of the tea." The other smiled, holding up the mint green mug with a white handle.

"That's good to hear." Erwin faked a sincere smile, tilting his head. He recognized this man. "Do you live here? You look familiar.."

"Uh, yes! I see you sometimes on the weekend. I'm Eren." The green eyed wonder stuck out his hand to shake the others for a formal introduction. "You're Erwin, right?"

"Y-Yeah, I am."

"Why are you here on a Sunday morning? Church just got out.. And the kitchen is closed till two."

"I was.. Well, visiting a friend. I ended up spending the night."

"Ah, I see." Eren winked, letting out a small chuckle. "Lucky you."

"You'd think so." He joined in, chuckling as well. "But I must get going. I hope Levi likes his cup of tea." Erwin continued to walk forward, looking back at Eren with a sly grin. "Earl Grey, right? One teaspoon of honey?"

"Y-You..." Eren's hands trembled around the mug, looking down at his reflection in the liquid. "How do you know Levi?" He finally looked back with widened eyes.

"We're just good, good friends." Erwin waved as he turned the corner, leaving Eren's sight.

"Is that.. His ex?"

He scrummage through his sweater pocket, pulling out his cell phone, dialing Levi's number.

"Eren, what's up?" Levi's raspy, tired voice rang through Eren's ears.

"Levi.. I can't come over. I forgot I had something to do with my sister.. But um, I'll drop your cup of tea off. I can't stay though.."

"Okay? That's fine, just bring my tea. I have a splitting headache."

"O-Okay.."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just.. Nervous I guess."

"About?"

"Nothing really. Maybe it's just anxiety. I don't know."

"Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Levi.. Don't worry about me, that's just a waste of your time."

"It probably is, but it won't stop me from worrying." He put bluntly. "So don't tell me not to."

"Fine. I'm outside your door, so open it."

He took a deep breath as he hung up the phone. Eren wondered if his intuition was correct, was Erwin really an ex of Levi's? He couldn't help but obsess over the thought. They both seemed hung over and in need of sleep, logically speaking, they must have spent the night together.. Eren was convinced.

He took a step towards Levi's bedroom door, waiting for him to open it. As he reached his hand up to knock, Levi suddenly opened the door. Eren noticed the dark circles under his eyes, though his pale skin still looked soft and supple. A part of him wanted to touch Levi's bare chest, but the thought of another man touching his body made Eren cringe.

"You look worse than me, Eren."

"You're so uplifting." He rolled his eyes, passing Levi the cup of tea. "Well, I'm off. Bye."

"Hey, wait." Levi stopped Eren by grabbing on to the back of his black sweater, pulling him closer. "Why can't you stay?"

"I already told you, Mikasa, my sister, I'm going to go see her. I already made plans and I forgot."

"Is that true?" Levi raised an eyebrow, tugging harder at his sweater.

"Y-yes! I have no reason to lie!"

"Yet you look pissed off at me. Tsk.. You're so complicated." He shook his head. "I did nothing wrong to you."

"Oh."

"Go see your sister then." He released his grip of Eren's sweater.

"I will!"

"Go."

"I am going."

"Eren.. Stop playing games with me."

"I'm not!"

"Then why are you still standing here?" Levi narrowed his eyes, taking a sip of his tea.

"I can stand where I want." Eren folded his arms over his chest, pouting out his bottom lip slightly.

"I thought you had somewhere to be.."

"I... I do!"

"Then go." Levi turned his back to the teen. "Don't be late."

"Wait.." Eren mumbled, finally taking a step inside Levi's room. "I lied, I don't-"

"I know Eren.. I talked to your sister a few days ago. She wanted to know if you've made any progress. She also mentioned she was going to see you next weekend."

"I'm sorry, please-"

"Stop apologizing so much." Levi sucked his teeth, walking further into his room. "Close the door behind you."

Eren nodded, saying his apology to himself quietly. He obediently followed Levi, closing the door softly behind him, well aware of Levi's pounding headache.

"Levi.. Remember when we talked about the people you hate?"

"Yes.."

"Was your ex one of them?"

"You could say that. Why do you ask?"

"No reason in particular... Will you tell me why?"

"I would, but I don't feel like it."

Levi put his cup of tea down on his nightstand, laying himself back down on the bed. He let his body sink into the mattress, enjoying the feeling.

"Tell me, or I'll leave." Eren stood over him, the expression on his face struck Levi as odd, for he has never seen this side of the boy.

"You're serious, huh?" Levi pushed himself back up, leaning his back into the wall. "Fine, I'll tell you, but it's a long story."

"I don't care how long it is." Eren sat down on the bed, looking deep into Levi's eyes. "Just tell me."

"I'm not sure why you care so much, but have it your way." He took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact with the emerald pearls that were piercing through his heart. "When I was your age, I met him.. We were both in the same boat, broke and popping pills. My mother kicked me out so I lived with him. Not long after, our 'relationship' became sexual. Of course, that started out as an ultimatum, if I gave him what he wanted, I could get what I wanted. I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.. But as an eighteen year old with no one who really gave a damn about me, I didn't care about how I received love, and I didn't care who it was from, so i settled with him." He paused for a moment to take another sip of tea. "Not one person at the time really cared if I was dead or alive, my life really had no impact of anyone. If I died, really.. Who would have noticed? Most likely, just Rose. I was coming here at the time as well, but I couldn't get clean till a year ago. She's been trying to get me off that path for a while now. Turns out, getting away from him was what did it. I was using before I met him, but I couldn't stop once we got together. I blame him for my excessive use of drugs. He legitimately drove me crazy."

"How?"

"I'm sure you'd understand once you met him."

"Can I take a guess?"

"If you wish."

"He's conniving, arrogant and likes to put others down to better himself? Is he selfish?"

"He can be. Though he wasn't always like that, or so I heard. When he was clean, he was the total opposite. I'd say he was selfless, and compassionate. But it never lasted long.."

"Am I anything like him, Levi?" Eren became worried, sitting himself down on the bed next to Levi; great concern filled his eyes.

"Not at all. I wouldn't talk to you if you were like him in any way, so don't worry." Levi averted his gaze back over to Eren, who let out a deep sigh. "What?"

"I wanna know everything about you, Levi."

"For what reason?"

"Because.. I think we have more in common than Rose had told me.. I guess I want the reassurance that I'm not the only one-"

"Eren, you're not alone." Levi blurted out. "Can I confess something to you?"

Unsure as to why those words even escaped his lips, Levi took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He couldn't stop himself now. There must be some liquor still let over in his system.

"Mhm." Eren nodded; a blush painted on his cheeks.

"All I thought about all night, was how much you remind me of my younger self.. And how I refuse to let you end up like me. Even while I... Fucked up.. You were still on my mind.. I can't help it, but you're all I think about."

"You really me that, Levi?" His green eyes began to glisten. "Do you really care about me?"

"I care about your well being Eren, don't get-"

Levi was cut off by Eren's arms being wrapped tightly around his upper body. Unable to move, Levi allowed the teen to hug him, giving him a mental expiration as to when the hug should end. As five seconds neared, Eren squeezed tighter, resting his head on Levi's shoulder. He could feel the silent tears coming for the boys emerald eyes.

"Hey.. You don't have to cry, I was just-"

"Thank you." Eren muttered, finally easing up on his hug. "I just needed to hear that you care for me.. Even if it isn't romantically, I'm just glad you care at all."

"Romantically?" Levi tilted his head. "I told you before, its a bad idea to start caring about me."

"I guess it can't be helped." He shrugged, slowly getting back on his feet. "I do have plans today, actually. But I canceled them. And I don't know how you feel about this but, you're all I thought about last night as well. I was worried you'd get too drunk and have a one night stand or something. I guess I'm like you, I tend to worry over nothing."

"I'm not worth your time and effort, Eren."

"I'm slowly starting to realize that.. Yet it only makes me want you more. I know more than you think I do, Levi.."

"Oh?" Levi pressed his feet to the cold floor, lifting himself to stand face to face with Eren. "And what is it you know?"

"I know who he is.. And Rose told me a lot about you. Maybe it was her way of warning me."

"I'm no good for you, let alone anyone. I hope you get that through your head."

"I even looked you up online. Someone has a violent past.."

"I've changed Eren..."

"You almost got put in jail, how many times, four? Two drug possessions, which I don't hold against you because I'd be a hypocrite, but aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon? Levi you-"

"You don't know the story." His voice went cold, making Eren's heart stop in between beats. "Don't judge me off shit you don't know! Everything I do has a reason behind it! I haven't judged you for your dumb ass mistakes! Who the hell throws paint at a moving cop car? Oh, that'd be you! High as a kite, trying to look cool in front of your doped out friends. And who the hell went streaking through the park in broad daylight? That'd be you again, Eren! We all make mistakes, so get the fuck off my back!"

"I was fifteen, first of all!" Eren yelled in response. "You were a grown up!"

"I was trying to get the bastard who killed my sister!" The words flowed out like hot lava. The anger boiling up inside Levi beginning to overflow. "He killed her because of me! I was the one who pissed him off, so he retaliated, killing the only person I've ever cared about! The only person who cared if I was dead or alive! Even my own mother couldn't force herself to give a damn about my existence. It'd make no difference to her if her only son had a heartbeat or not! I was a fucking check to her! I meant nothing at all! But my sister loved me! No ones ever fucking loved me! Not Erwin. Not my mother. Not my father, nor the rest of my family who abounded me! No one, Eren, do you understand that?! But I always had her... Then I fucked up and she died because of that!"

Tears of anger spilled down Levi's cheeks, he gritted his teeth together, clenching his hands into tight fists. The muscles in his body began to tremble from the anger festering up in his bones, and the fire that swam through his veins. This was the first time he's ever spoken of his sister, Isabel, in full detail with anyone, not even Rose knew about the situation.

"Levi.." Eren's soft fingertips grazed under the others eyes, wiping then free of their tears. "Please don't cry.." He took a few steps closer, again wrapping his arms around Levi. He rested his chin on the top of the others head, slowly rubbing his back to comfort Levi in his time of need.

"All because of a stupid fight.." Levi mumbled into Levi's chest. "All because I couldn't keep my damn mouth shut.."

"What happened?"

"I testified against him.. I witnessed him break into my neighbors house, he ended up raping the girl that lived there, so he was facing up to ten years. He told me to keep quiet or else. I laughed it off and said, or else what? The moment he seen my ass in court, he had a hit out on my sister. I was aquatinted with his younger brother, who knew how much my sister meant to me. Two weeks later, she was shot and killed. I was only sixteen at the time.."

Eren slowly shut his eyelids, moving his head down, kissing the top of Levi's head. It still had the faint smell of his shampoo.

"I'm sorry. I made you upset."

"No.. Don't be." Levi placed his hands on Eren's hips, slowly sliding them up the sides of his torso. He grabbed tightly onto the fabric Eren's sweater, pulling him in even closer. "Just... Just hold me, please." He voice cracked, Levi was on the edge of bursting out into tears.

"Levi.." Eren wrapped himself tightly around the other, bringing his own lips down to Levi's ear. "You don't have to cry.. I may not be Isabel, but I promise that I'll love you."

"Love me? How could anyone love me?"

"You're caring.. Thoughtful.. You put others before yourself. And well, you have a weird way of showing these things, but I know I can count on you for anything. I think.. I think that's why I like you so much, Levi."

"You've known me for a month.."

"I never said I was in love with you.." Eren chuckled lightly, pulling back to see the others face. "I just said I liked you.."

"Still.." His cold steel eyes turned soft, looking up to meet Eren's. "Why me? I don't see how-"

"Because you're you. That's a good enough reason to like you. At least I think so. you're not half bad."

"Can I ask you something?"

Eren nodded yes.

"How'd you know?"

"About?"

"Erwin.."

"I ran into him before I came over.. I put two and two together. Promise me you won't see him anymore.. A half hour ago I didn't even want to touch you. The thought of his hands all over you makes me sick to my stomach."

"Last night was an accident.. I never intended on seeing him, never mind sleeping with him.. Turns out Mike invited him without my knowing, and one thing led to another. Trust me.. The thought of him and I make me sick too. I was drunk and obviously not thinking.."

"Yet you thought about me.."

"The whole time.."

"Even while you.. You know.."

Levi simply nodded, letting go of Eren to take a half step back.

"I guess it can't be helped.." He sighed, reaching up his hand to Eren's face, caressing his soft, tanned cheek, with his cold fingers. "We both care for someone who's broken."

"I'll fix you, Levi. I'll find a way to."

"Don't bother. I'm too far gone to be repaired."

****

Later that day, when Levi's headache finally subsided, he took his sheets, pillowcases and blanket to the laundry mat down the street, to wash away the memory, and unfortunately, the smell of the night before.

He promised Eren that after he finished, he'd take him out to dinner. To Levi, it was a way of apologizing about his deranged emotions from earlier in the day, but Eren was treating it as a date.

All that was going through his mind was: what should I wear? How should I do my hair? What cologne should I wear? As if Eren being himself wasn't enough for Levi. He best bet was to call Mikasa, and ask for her opinion. She was always helpful when it came to advice.

"Hey Eren." She answered the phone, sounding worn out.

"Hey, can I ask you for some advice?"

"You can ask me anything, you know that.. Did something happen?"

"Not really.. I mean, I have a date tonight.."

"A date!" She exclaimed. "With who?! Have I met him or her?"

"Not yet.." Eren blushed, looking down at the three outfits laid out in his bed. "But you will soon. He's a great guy."

"Who is he?"

"It's, uh.. Well."

"Oh god, don't tell me it's Levi.."

"Fine, then I won't tell you that's it's Levi!"

"He's like ten years older than you, you're not even eighteen yet!"

"I know, but I'm at the age of consent, so us being together isn't illegal or anything, just frowned upon.."

Mikasa let out a heavy sigh.

"He does talk very highly of you.. He seems to be very invested in your well being. We only talked over the phone, but he seems alright. And you seem to really like this guy so.. I won't hold you back from seeing him."

"I do really like him.. But I wanted to ask you if I'm doing the right thing, you know, by letting him in.."

"I can't answer that for you, if you think he cares about you then you should open up to him, let him know everything about you, good and bad. Has he opened up to you at all?"

"Surprisingly, yes.. You know how he's my coach?"

"Yeah."

"Well his coach, when he was here, was Rose."

"The old lady?"

"Yes.. She said he's never opened up to her, and she's known him for ten years now. I've known him for a month and I've already seen him cry."

"Cry?! Really.. He sounded very stern and serious on the phone. I wouldn't have guessed he's the emotional type."

"The thing is.. He's not, but he is around me.." Eren smiled to himself, finally sitting down on the bed. "I don't actually think this is a date though."

"And why is that?"

"Because, he's not treating it as one. He told me he'd take me out as a thank you for the tea I made him.. But-"

"That's stupid, don't you think? Maybe he's never been on a date."

"He's twenty-six, I've never been on one but I'm still a teenage, there's a difference."

"You did tell me he lacks social skills and can come across as rude, that could easily be why. Nonetheless, Eren, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you! Now help me pick out an outfit!" He shot back up, hearing her soft laughter in the background. "Simple blue jeans, with a black v-neck? How about black jeans with a button up?"

"What color is the button up?"

"It's the navy blue one that you bought me for Christmas."

"It does look very nice on you.. Maybe you should wear that with the jeans. You don't want to look too nice, but presentable. Where are you doing out for dinner?"

"Actually, he never said.. But he likes to go out and look nice, so a dress shirt isn't a bad idea. I think he takes pride in his good looks."

"Oh yeah?" Mikasa chuckled. "Make sure you take pictures! Maybe get a picture with him so I can see you both together!"

"Yes mom." Eren joked. "I'll make sure I take pictures."

"Good! I'd say I trust your taste in who you date, but you've brought home some strange people..."

"I was high as a kite, please don't hold that against me." He sighed, putting her on speaker phone so he could get dressed.

"I know, I know. When you visit me, bring him. I want to meet him face to face."

"Face to face? You're a few inches taller than him."

"Really? How the hell short is this guy?"

"I don't know.. Four foot eleven?"

"Seriously? You're dating a midget Eren...?"

"Nah, he's like five foot three. He's cute, trust me."

"I'll take your word for that.. Call me in the morning to tell me how everything went, okay? I'll look forward to your call."

"Thank you so much sis! I'll talk to you in the morning! Goodnight!"

Eren blushed, looking at himself in the mirror. He was excited, nervous, but overall happy, and looking forward to the night ahead of him.

He buttoned up his navy blue top, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows, pairing them with black jeans like he had planned.

Eren blushed his hair back, using the leave in conditioner he stole from Mikasa's room a few weeks back. he was surprised at how soft it made his hair feel. A small part of him imagined Levi running his hands through it.

"It's almost time.." He mumbled to himself, checking his phone for the time. "Twenty more minutes.. I can't wait."


	5. first dates

After remaking his bed, and fluffing his pillows to perfection, Levi quickly got dressed and brushed his hair again, trying his best to look presentable. He decided on his black blazer, with a deep, white v-neck shirt, and a pair of dark blue jeans, since he absolutely hated dress pants. He wrapped his usual scarf around his neck and made his way towards Eren's room. He knocked soon after approaching.

"Eren?" He knocked again after a moment of standing before the other's door.

"I'm coming!" Eren finally yelled out after a quick moment of silence. He quickly opening the door, gretting levi with a smile. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom when you knocked." He zipped up his tan jacket, and then locked his door behind him.

"It's fine, I'm just glad you're ready."

"Why wouldn't I be ready? I'm not the type who spends hours just trying to pick out an outfit or something!" He laughed nervously, knowing that's exactly what he just did.

"I couldn't care less, as long as you're ready. I made a reservation at that Italian restaurant downtown, is that okay?"

"Yeah! Isn't that place kinda up scale?"

"Not really, it's reasonably priced and has decent parking, so it's perfect for me. It's the weekend, so I wanted to make sure we had a seat. I don't think there will be too many people there anyways."

"So this is a date, huh?" Eren mumbled, smiling softly.

"A date? You could call it that I guess.." Levi shrugged his aching shoulders. He walked side by side with Eren down the long hallways. "I've never been on one.."

"Really?" Eren pretended as if he was surprised. He took Levi's arm, pulling him in closer. "So I'm your first real date, Levi?"

"Yeah.." He mumbled with a blush on his face.

"You're mine too, don't worry."

"You're seventeen, I'm not that surprised. I'm nine years older than you are.."

The two men continued to make their way into the shelter's parking lot. Levi hold open the entrance doors, allowong Eren to pass through first. He thanked Levi with a smile, and pulled at his blazer jacket to hurry him up, the reason being that the tempurature was harshly low.

"So? You've been with Erwin." Eren continued. "I didn't expect him to take you on a date while in a loveless relationship. What'd be the point of that?"

"I guess you're right, Eren."

"Of course I'm right!" He chuckled whole heartedly.

They both approached Levi's car in a rush to get it, and get away from the cold. Despite that, Levi still walked Eren over to the passanger's side, opeing up the car door for him, and then shutting it after he took a seat.

"What a gentleman." He winked, smiling over at Levi as he sat down in the seat. "Thank you."

"Chivalry is cheap, you know."

"But it goes a long way."

"Indeed.." Levi shut the door after he entered the vehicle, then turned on the engine. "Let it warm up, it's getting cold out."

"Hey, before we head off, may I ask you something?"

Levi nodded.

"Would you be okay with meeting my sister? She's.. She's curious about you."

"Curious?" He hummed, slowly turning his head towards Eren. "Why?"

"She said you talk nicely about me, also I called and told her about our date tonight, so she'd like to meet you in person."

"That's not a problem."

"Good, she suggested when I go to see her next weekend, that you come with me. You know, kill two birds with one stone."

"That's fine. I'll make sure to not make any plans, ok?"

"Okay." Eren his his excitement behind a genuine smile.

Levi shifted the car into reverse, backing out of his reserved parking spot. He headed east towards downtown, having to fight off the usual six o'clock traffic, though it wasn't as bad as usual, considering it was a Sunday after all.

Even though he wouldn't admit it, Levi felt nervous about being on his first date. Even at the age of twenty-six, he couldn't help but feel a huge knot forming in the pit of his stomach. He had the fear of disappointing Eren, or somehow messing up to the point where Eren may never want to speak to him again.

"You're quiet.." Eren pointed out. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You look.. Pale?"

"I am pale you dipshit.. It's my skin color."

"Your skin isn't normally this pasty, that's all."

"I'll make sure to go tanning, if that'd make you happy." He glared over at the teen as he came to a halt at the red light.

"I think you're fine the way you are." Eren spoke innocently, and from his heart. "You're not always talkative, but you always find something to say."

"I have nothing to say."

"Is this about earlier? About you crying?"

"No." Levi continued forward after the light turned green.

Eren studied his face for a moment, trying to make out if Levi was being truthful.

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing, let's drop the topic and focus on what's for dinner.. Did you eat lunch today? You need three meals a day Eren."

"Hey! Don't change the subject! And yes, I did eat two out of my three meals today, father."

"Don't be such a brat, it's unbecoming of you."

"I'm not gonna stop asking till you tell me.."

"I'll just ignore you."

"Fine.." Eren pouted, turning his head to look out of the window.

After ten minutes of pure, and awkward silence, which drove Eren nearly insane, the two men finally arrived at Zilluchi's Restaurant fifteen minutes before the time of the reservation.

"Don't worry about the check Eren, I'm paying the whole thing." Levi finally spoke as he turned the car's engine off.

"I brought some money with-"

"I'm taking you out, so I'll pay. You can't change my mind."

"Okay.. That's fine by me then."

"We still have a few minutes, do you want to wait in the car?"

"Sure.. But we have to do something first."

"And what is this something we have to do?"

"Take a picture." Eren said under his breath.

"A what?"

"A picture.. For Mikasa!"

"I hate pictures, Eren.." Levi huffed, making a sulking face.

"Please!? For me..?" The green eyed boy pouted out his bottom lip, giving Levi the classic puppy dog eyes. "Three pictures Levi?"

"Fine! I'll do it!" Levi caved in. He was unable to resist those large green eyes of Eren's, nevermind the cute pouting lip.

"Yay!" Eren exclaimed, taking his phone out from his pocket. "Please smile too, okay?"

"Eren.. Don't push it.."

"Smile!"

Eren held up his phone, showing off his pearly white teeth. He leaned in closer to Levi, who decided he should actually smile, since it was for Eren's sake. The corners of his lips curled up slightly to form a weak, but noticeable smile.

Even though it didn't seem as if Levi was happy, this had to be the happiest moment he's ever experienced. His smile wasn't wide, his teeth may not have been showing, but the little smile he showed was authentic, and one hundred percent genuine.

He held out his smile for a few pictures longer, feeling his cheeks begin to hurt. Levi couldn't remember the last time he genuinely smiled.

"What is it about Eren?" He wondered to himself.

"You smiled.." Eren spoke softly, looking at the pictures on his phone. "You really smiled for me.."

"Of course I did.."

"You look so sexy when you smile." Eren turned his attention towards Levi, giving him a cheeky grin. "You should smile more, but only around me. I don't need others seeing how sexy you are."

"I'm not sexy.." Levi blushed. "Let's just head inside."

"Yes you are." Eren said under his breath.

He obediently followed Levi inside.

Eren was in awe as he walked into the restaurant. Hanging from the ceiling was a huge, Victorian style chandelier. All the waiters and waitresses dressed up in black and white suits, with their hair neatly slicked back, or up in a classy bun. The restaurant was defiantly upscale, but at the time was not very busy.

Eren looked down at himself, checking out his own attire. He couldn't help but feel as if he was dressed down for the occasion. How was it that Levi could dress in almost anything and still look classy? It could be sweat pants and a baggy shirt and still be the most attractive man in the room. At least that's how Eren felt.

"Reservation for two." Levi spoke to the hostess, who directed both men towards their booth.

Levi sat across from Eren. He stripped off his blazer, placing it next to himself neatly. Eren watched the other with attentive eyes. The hostess passed both men a menu.

"Our specials today are Gnocchi, Cacciucco served with our oven baked Italian bread, our Veggie lasagna with a side of your choice and Spinach tortellini also with the side of your choice. Your waiter will be right with you." The young girl smiled. Eren figured the hostess was around his age.

"Levi.."

"Hm?"

"What the hell is Ca..Cacciucco?"

"It's a fish stew."

"Oh.. You must enjoy Italian food I'm assuming."

"I do.. I grew up with Italian neighbors. I went to their house often to eat."

"So coming here to eat is like a little taste of home?" Eren smiled brightly, batting his long lashes at Levi. "Is it nostalgic Levi?"

"No." He put it bluntly, looking back down at the menu in front of him. "Just pick your meal already."

"Levi.. Do you see these prices?!" Eren exclaimed.

"Yes, I seen them with my own eyes."

"Are you sure you can afford this?"

"I wouldn't bring you here if I didnt have any money, Eren."

"Is the shelter paying you that much..?"

"I had some money saved up."

"Oh.."

"Eren, it's fine if you dont want to eat here."

"No! I do, I just don't want you spending your life savings on me in only one night!" He chuckled lightly. "But if you insist, I'll order something I really want and ignore the price."

"Good." Levi closed his menu, watching the male waiter as he approched the table. Eren couldnt help but noticed, feeling slightly irritated that Levi held a gaze to the tall, thin male coming to take their order.

His name tag read "Farlan". He wasnt unattractive, with his light brown hair, and pale blue eyes that seemed to fade into grey the more you stared into them. He had a fair complexion, similar to Levi's. As he walked up to the table, a small smile tugged the corners of his thin, softly tainted, pink lips.

"Hi, I'm Farlan, can I start you two off with any drinks?"

"I'll have a glass of mascato, and don't be afraid to fill it up to the rim."

"OH?" The charming waiter grinned, writing down the first request. "Are you sure you're older than twenty-one? You do look awfully young if i must say."

"Don't flatter me, I'm well over twenty-one." Levi rolled his eyes, though grinning back. "I highly doubt you're older than that yourself."

"Actually, I just turned twenty-five a few weeks ago, so drinking with me wouldn't be a problem."

"Oh? I guess that's good for you then. Then-"

"um.. Excuse me?!" Eren blurted out. His cheeks were bright red as he glared up at the waiter. "Can I have some damn water please?!"

"Y-Yes, sorry.." Farlan nodded his head, writing down water on his pad. "I'll be right back with your drinks." He quickly made himself scarce, shuffling himself back into the kitchen.

"Well, he seemed to take a liking to you, LEVI." The teen crossed his arms tightly over his aching chest. His young heart suddenly felt as if it was going to shatter into a million pieces. The same angry blush was still present on his face.

"Who, him?" Levi tilted his head in confusion. "He was just being nice."

"He was flirting wtih you! You big idiot!"

"Hey, dont yell.. You're embarresing me Eren."

The other consumers sitting around them all turned their heads towards the two men having their confrontation in the booth. Some talked amongst themselves as they peered over, while the remaining people silently judged. Levi could feel all of their eyes looking towards his direction.

"I'm embassing you?! You were flirting with him you asshole.. I seen you grin at him, and he even made a pass at you, while i was sitting here!"

"You brat, it's not like we date! Now stop yelling and wait for your water like a good kid. How about you play on your phone to pass the time. People are staring at us, so calm down before I get pissed off."

"Hmph.. You'll regret saying that Levi." Eren unfolded his arms. "I'm going to the bathroom." He slid out from the booth, trudging his way to the boys bathroom on the other side of the resturant.

"Fucking brat.." Levi mumbled under his breath, regarless of feeling guilt deep in his gut.

A few seconds later, Farlan returned to the table with the drinks. On the trey sat Eren's glass of water, and Levi's tall elegant glass of red mascato, filled to the rim. Farlan carefully placed both glasses down with a gentle smile on his face.

"I was going to bring a drink for myself as well, but seeing as you brought a friend with you, I figured it would be inappropriate, and just not the right time for us to have a drink together."

"Ah, I see.." Levi took a well needed swig of his wine. "He's not my friend, Farlan."

"Family?"

"N-no.." Levi almsot choked on his own saliva at the thought.

"He looks a lot like your sister, you know that right?"

"Excuse me?"

"I went to high school with the both of you. I'm not surprised that you don't remember me, I'm not even sure of your name, Levi, right?"

Levi nodded his head. 

 

"My memory is as sharp as ever! Anyways, your sister dated my best friends brother. That's how I know of her."

"Did you ever meet her?"

"A few times when I visited my friend, she was there, but we didnt talk much. She was a few years older than I, but i can't lie, even I thought she was beautiful."

"She always was, inside and out." A small smiled spread across Levi's cheeks. "You're lucky to have met her.."

"SO.. The boy you're with, he's not family?"

"Nope, he's my date."

"Oh.. Well I'm sorry to have imposed on you both, i'll come baack in a few minutes to take your order."

"Wait." Levi grabbed Farlan's arm as he walked away. "This is nothing agianst you, but could we have a new waiter? My date is awfully pissed at me for even looking at you.. Preferably a woman."

"I understand.. He's lucky to have someone like you, Levi."

"Thanks, I guess..."

Meanwhile, Eren stood in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to rub the tears away from eyes. Though he wasn't sure exactly why he was crying, all he knew was the true anger that was hidden inside of him. Right now more than ever, Eren wanted to shoot up. His eyes slowly looked down towards his arms. The once vibrant, and bright blue viens were no longer visable. Who knew that in two years he'd ruined the most prominent vein in the right arm. The viens in his left weren't as easy to find, but that never stopped him before. Though he heard, and even witnessed, that you can shoot up in other places aside from the crease of your arm. Wherever there is a vien, there is way. His old friends would shoot up between their toes to hide the tiny puncture wounds from their parents. Even though the first few hits can go unnoticed, after repeated use, they begin to become visible. One time, he saw someone stick the thin needle into the fatty part of his inner eye, shooting into the tiny vein there. Eren could vividly remember how that affected the user. It appeared to be that when a user finds a new vien, the high tends to be stronger. And even though that may not be true, and only a placebo affect, Eren was tempted to try. His dealer was only a phone call away after all.

In his pocket was his phone, and in the back of his mind, Eren could hear it calling him.

"Just dial his number.." It said. "Buy enough to erase your anger.. What's more imoprtant? Levi, or feeling happy?"

"You have a point.." He muttered. 

 

Eren made him way back to the booth, holding his phone tightly in his hand after sending a risky text message. He sat down feeling ashamed, not even making eye contanct with Levi, making him think eren was still mad at him.

"I got us a new waiter."

"Good." Eren mumbled.

"Look, I didnt mean-"

"I don't care anymore, it's fine.. Soon, I won't even rembember any of this."

"Oh, well that's good then."

******

After an awkwardly quiet night of eating together, Levi walked Eren up to his room. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy. He didn't realize his actions caused so much stress and anger upon Eren. Was he hurt in the past? Or maybe just easily jealous? Levi knew the feeling too well. It could have been that Eren is just over emotional due to the state his body is in, trying to remain clean, getting off such a storng stimulant cold turkey. As much as Levi could empathize, addiction and recovery is different for each person, ther's really no way for him to truly understand how Eren actually feels.

As they approched Eren's door, Levi quickly came to a hault, pulling Eren closer to him.

"Oi, Eren, tell me something."

"W-what is it?" He blushed deeply. His body slightly trembled at the sudden force behind levi.

"Tell me you'll forget about tonight.. We'll have a re-do of this some other day. Tonight sucked.. That's not how I want my first date to be."

The words sounded embarrassing as the rolled off Levi's tongue, leaving it's stain behind as a dark blush on Levi's cheeks, one he wished he could hide easily.

"I told you that it's fine.. Okay?"

"Good." He pulled Eren's face closer to his. "Because I.. I dont want you to be so upset."

"I'm not anymore." Eren smiled. "Okay?"

"Yes." He quickly kissed Eren before backing off. "Sleep well, Eren."

"You too, Levi... You too."

Eren clenched his fist, holding it close to his heart. Deep down, he felt as if he was betraying Levi in a way. The fact alone that he was about to buy anything off of his old dealer was eating him alive, but the cravings tonight are seeming to take over his soul. As strongly as he wanted to ignore his inner demons, they were talking too loud to even hear his request to stop.

Tonight, everything is going to change.


	6. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any spelling mistakes in advance, it was late at night when I finished and edited this chapter..

After midnight, when the streets were dark and dreary, and not a single person was in sight, Eren made his way towards the train station, were he was to meet his dealer, Keith, who is a tall, slender man, with medium length black hair that was pin straight, and dark brown eyes.

Eren looked down at his phone, checking the time. It was shy of one in the morning.

In the back of his mind, a picture of Levi was present. Levi looked disappointed, not mad, but still hurt by Eren's actions. The vision of Levi's face made Eren feel uneasy, but his cravings were munch stronger than his potential guilt. He's gone a month with out it, quitting cold turkey. Most heroin addicts need methadone to wean themselves off, but Eren's insurance won't cover the treatments. The young man has not choice but do deal with the after affects of quitting the drug, all of which he tried his best to hide from Levi.

Finally, Eren's dealer approached him, taking out a new needle and product for Eren. He wore the typical, long, tan jacket that had tons of inside pockets. The perfect place to stash what he was selling, and also to store his money.

"Don't worry, the needle hasn't been used. I threw in a little extra for my favorite costumer. I ain't seen you in a while.. Still trying to quit?"

"Yeah.." Eren took what he came for. "But I don't think now is the perfect time to be sober."

"There's never a right time to be sober, Eren. Life will always be this tough. But all this will be forty."

"I know." His shaky hands took the two twenty's out from his pockets, passing them over to Keith. "Thanks.."

"Don't thank me.. I hope you figure shit out. You're only ruining yourself Eren."

"Huh..?"

"I'm too far gone to get back up on my feet." He shrugged. "But you're not."

"It's been two years for me.. I'm far gone too. Don't kid yourself."

"I've been using for ten. You seem to forget how much older I am than you.. I've been using since I was seventeen. Two years is nothing." He placed a hand on Eren's shoulder. "I just lost my daughter because of this.. I couldn't even get visitation. You're still young. Make this the last time I see you, Eren."

"A pep talk from my drug dealer." Eren laughed, pushing the other's hand off his shoulder. "I'm sorry about your daughter, but this is my life, and anything that makes it better should-"

"Drugs don't make it better, just tolerable for about an hour. Don't kid yourself."

"An hour is all I need."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Keith began to walk back towards the train station, getting out his wallet to pay for a ticket back. Eren watched his as he walked away.

What the hell was that...?

He took a deep breath as he made his way back home. All Eren could think about was getting back into his room, and doing what he's been craving to do for weeks now. Even though guilt was beginning to set in, he was able to mask it until he got home. His focus was on filling that needle, and piercing it into his bloodstream. He wanted the same roller coaster feel, that adrenaline rush before the big drop, and then the excitement of the remaining duration of the ride. But when the ride ended, he hoped to take it for another spin. He wasn't going to stop until his body couldn't take it anymore, that he knew for a fact.

It seemed that every time Eren began to quit, the first week or so without his needle where tough, but tolerable, giving him the false impression that this time would be it, it would be the time he finally quit. But after a week, maybe even two, that tolerable feeling disappears, and it turns into a raging desire. His body gets hot at the thought of the needle touching his skin. He starts to sweat, become nervous and frigidity. This time around, he found something to keep him occupied of his desires, and that something happened to be Levi. A small part of him began to desire something else, something he never used to find pleasurable. The sense of lust wasn't something he was ever used to. The times Eren has ever had sex never had anything to do with lust, love, or really even any feelings at all. Spreading his legs was an easy was to fill his needle when he short on cash. That's all sex ever was to him. Even though Levi and Eren haven't done anything more than a simple kiss, Eren can't help but crave for the others touch, as well as his affection.

 

The brisk air felt good on eren's skin, the coolness from the slight gust of winds hit his warm skin gently, putting him at ease. The moon lit the darkness of the night, and illuminated the damp roads of the city. He breathed in the crisp air and decided to take the back roads back to the shelter. There weren't many nights that felt like this, it's normally much colder and darker, but tonight the stars shined bright, accompanying the moon in lighting up the sky.

In the pit of his stomach, though, Eren had a bad feeling, but he shrugged it off, thinking it was still his guilt trying to convince him to stop. The streets were too quiet really, and completely vacant, not something you see very often in a major city. It was late, but no matter the time of day or night, you would always see people staggering around.

As Eren passed an alley way, only a few blocks for the shelter, the sound of multiple footsteps came from behind him, rapidly approaching him. He fastened his pace, wanting to get back to his room as soon as possible, but the footsteps became louder, and pounded themselves into the pavement. Whoever was behind him was walking faster to keep up with Eren. What could they possible want?

He took a look behind him, spotting three men with dark masks covering their faces. All of them only a few inches taller than Eren, but much more muscular. There was no doubt he was outweighed and out strengthened. His only option was to run.

The moment he began to speed up, one of the masked men charged towards him, and grabbed him from behind, pulling him down to the cold, hard pavement. The man held his hand over Eren's mouth so he could silent any screams coming from Eren's mouth.

"One word and I'll slice your throat." One of the spoke, standing over Eren who was holding back tears. "Pass over all your money and we'll make this quick."

Eren nodded in agreement. The man holding Eren down removed his hand from Eren's mouth, and then flipped him over on to his back. Eren laid still on the ground, taking out his wallet from his pocket. He threw it to the ground next to him, knowing there wasn't much money it, but he wanted to avoid any further conflict. The third man walked over and picked it up, he looked inside to see the ten dollars Eren had left, and his debit card which had very little money on it. The mask man covered Eren's mouth again.

"Go through his pockets. That wont be enough." The other spoke again, now digging his boot into Eren's gut to keep him still.

"Oh."

"What is it?"

"A fresh needle, and what exactly we needed money for."

"Ah, then I guess we're done here."

"No!" Eren tried to scream. He struggled to get out from under the man's boot, and away from the grip of the other's hand around his mouth.

"Shut up!" The boot slammed into Eren's gut again, making him cough up blood. The hand that was covering his mouth shifted to his hair, pulling it back roughly.

"Don't get your damn blood on my hands you stupid brat!" He yelled.

"Fuck off!" Eren yelled in response, trying to get up once again. "That's my shit, give it back!"

Eren tried yet again to stand up, only to get kicked back down, this time the boot was to his face. A stream of blood ran down from his nose, drenching his lips. He was still holding back his tears, but stubbornly continued, not giving up this fight.

He continued to get kicked down with each attempt to get back up, but his pride wouldn't let him stop. Even though he knew he stood no chance, he finally got to his feet, facing two of the men who stood in front of him. The man who stood behind him quickly wrapped his arm around Eren's neck, putting him in a chock hold. Eren struggled to breath, digging his finger nails into the other's arms.

"L-Let me go.." He mouthed. "Now!"

But the grip of the others arm only became tighter, leaving Eren nearly breathless.

He was pushed into the side of building's cold brick exterior face first, further injuring his older broken nose. One of the men span him back around, landing punches to his face. The world around Eren became darker as he fell ot the ground. In the background, the distant sound of siren's filled the air.

"Shit, let's go! Leave him here!"

The three masked men ran off in the opposite direction, taking Eren's wallet, money, and drugs with them.

****

The next morning, when Eren regained conciseness, a similar darkness that he experienced the night before was still present. He could feel the sun beating down on his skin though, only meaning that must be day time. Where was he? His surroundings were warm, so he must not be outside anymore. His hands gripped the bed sheets tightly. They didn't feel as soft as the one on his bed. Again, Eren closed his eyes, and opened them again. Everything around him was just a blur, only certain shapes were able to be made out. The room he was in seemed to be white, and very bright, but everything around him was one big blur.

"Ah, Eren!" A voice came from the western side of the room. A female voice, she sounded young, and had a very soft, soothing sounding voice. "Glad to see you're awake."

"Where am i?" He mumbled, lifting up his arms to rub his eyes. The warm voiced lady grabbed Eren by his wrists, stopping him mid motion.

"Don't rub your eyes. They'll only get worse. I'm a nurse here on the intensive care unit floor, my name is Sasha. You were rushed in last night with some serious head wounds. Doctor's last night had to stop the bleeding in your eyes. I'm sorry to inform you that we also found slight bleeding in your brain, thankfully we were able to stop it before the problem became any worse. The side affect of all this is loss of vision, but the doctor doesn't think it'll be permanent. A month at most. It will slowly come back, but for now, we have to keep you on a drip to reduce the pain, and a steroid drip to reduce the inflammation in your eyes. You were beaten pretty badly last night Mr. Jaeger. Who ever hurt you did a number on your face. Your nose is badly fractured, but not to the point were we needed to do much to it, we just patched it up for you. You're going to be alright though." She slowly let go of Eren's arms. He set them back down beside him. Eren held back tears, for they would only made his eyes hurt even more.

"My vision, it will come back you said?"

"Yes, hopefully within four weeks. Can you give me a few phone numbers to call? Just so we can contact any family members, or significant other to let them know you're alright, and that they can come see you? The cops confiscated your phone to take finger prints, so we had to wait for you to wake up. You aren't in our database."

"Yeah, I'll give you my sister's number."

"Anyone else?"

"My uh, my boy- no my friend, Levi."

"Okay.." She took a piece of paper out of her pocket, and wrote down the number's as Eren gave them to her. "I'll have somebody place the calls, and I'll come to check up on you later. I'll bring up your lunch in about an hour. It's eleven thirty right now just so you now."

"Thank you. Can I have some water?"

"I'll have that up here in a few minutes, okay?" Sasha smiled.

"Thanks." He closed his eyes and admitted a soft sigh, sinking back down into his pillow.

-

While Eren was laying in the Trost Medical Center's hospital bed in ICCU, Levi was walking towards Eren's bedroom door. He had called after he woke up, but the call was sent directly to voice mail.

"Where the hell is this brat?" He knocked on the door loudly. "Open the door!" He banged again, starting to get ticked off.

"Sir?" A voice came from behind Levi.

He turned around with narrowed, dark eyes. The man standing behind him took a small step back, and was visibility sweating. The man appeared to be in his early thirties, with long black hair that looked as if it needed to be brushed.

"I.. I'm in the room next to Eren's. I heard him leave but I don't think he c-came back last night.."

"What time did he leave?" Levi tensed up, walking closer to Eren's shy neighbor, who backed himself up into the wall.

"Um.. About midnight sir! I stayed up till three to make sure he came home. But I never heard his door open again.. H-he normally jiggles at his lock so it makes a lot of noise.."

"Do you know where he went?"

"N-no sir! I'm sorry.."

"Don't call me sir. I'm younger than you. You're making me sound like an old man!"

"I'm sorry!" He whimpered, clenching his fists tightly.

"Look.. If you know where Eren could be. Tell me. If you hear anything from him. Tell me. If you think of anything. Tell me. I need to know where he is at all times. He's my responsibility. If anything bad happens to him... I-"

Levi stopped himself mid sentence to back away from the other, trying to remain calm by taking deep breathes.

"I wouldn't forgive myself..." He mumbled to himself before walking away.

As he approached his own room, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. The number was familiar, but not saved in his phone. He was hoping it was Eren. He was angered that Eren was no where to be found, but also worried and hoping he wasn't in any danger.

"This better be you, Eren!" Levi raised his voice after answering the phone.

"It's his sister.." Mikasa's voice came through the speaker. "Eren was admitted to Troust's Medical Center last night, around two in the morning. He got badly beaten up. Three men where arrested at the scene, they say Eren was jumped. I contacted the police station, and Eren had mostly likely been robbed. They found money and drugs on the suspects that all had Eren's fingerprints on them.. I wanted to let you know where he was. I'm guessing you're worried and realized Eren wasn't home. I'm going to the hospital as soon as I get out of work. My boss won't allow me to get out early. Please go see him, Levi."

"You don't have to tell me twice... Thank you for calling me."

"I'll probably see you there. I wish we didn't have to meet this way..."

"Yeah.." Levi sighed, walking back into his own room to get his coat. "I'll see you then."

Immediately after hanging up with Mikasa, he threw on his jacket and scarf, then slipped into his shoes. Levi grabbed his keys off the nightstand, and then ran out of his room, and down the back stairway that led to the parking lot. He then mad a dash towards his car. He could feel his phone vibrate in his pocket, but chose to ignore it, knowing talking on the phone would only slow him down. His main priority was getting to Eren and making sure he was safe.

"Surgery? What the hell happened? I should have been there for him last night... Maybe I should have invited him back to my room... No.. He's only seventeen, I can't do things like that.. He'd get the wrong idea. Shit... Why couldn't I have been there to protect him..? That's my job, and I couldn't even do that. God, please be okay Eren. I'm coming... Wait for me."

He quickly sped down the main road, taking the shortcut to Trost Medical Center where Eren was rushed to earlier that morning. Levi's eyes were glossed over with rage. His anger was mostly pointed at himself, but some towards Eren for even being out at such a late hour. Why would he have money and drugs on him? Was he planning to use again?

He parked his car as close as possible to the hospital entrance, and then headed up towards ICCU where Eren most likely was. He spotted a nurse as he came off of the elevator. The tall, slender, dark brown eyed woman smiled at him as he walked out.

"Good morning sir!"

"Morning.. Uh, is there an Eren Jaeger on this floor?"

"I was just in his room! He had called for a nurse to help him go to the bathroom, so I-"

"Which room?!"

"Four twenty-seven, almost all the way down this hallway, and it'll be on your right. You must be his-"

"Thanks!" Levi ran down the hallway towards Eren's room, he wasn't going to let chit chat stop him from seeing Eren.

When he approached Eren's room, he immediately halted at the sight of the man he had feelings for, who had a thick, white, bandaged wrapped around his head, covering his eyes, as well as a bandage on his broken nose. Eren laid still in the bed, with his head pointed towards the ceiling. He was humming to himself quietly. The radio was softly playing in the background, it was a song Levi had never heard.

"Eren.." He said softly, knocking on the wall after taking a step into the room.

"Levi?!" Eren sat up quickly. "Is that you?!" He looked around aimlessly, that same, earnest smile on his face.

"What the hell happened to you. You look... Horrible."

"Thanks Levi.. I'm happy to see you to."

"Now you're just being ironic Eren.. Your eyes are covered." He sighed as he walked towards Eren's bed. A sinking feeling in his chest seemed to slow down his feet. Seeing Eren like this was heart wrenching.

"You know what I mean!"

"What the hell happened to you that you have bandages covering your eyes?"

"Well, this morning they weren't covered.. but the light was bothering my eyes. When the doctor checked them, he thought the light was only making it worse, so he gave me a steroid drop, then covered them up. It stung, but I'm more comfortable now. They say I'll be staying a few more days for observations."

"That's not what I was getting at.." Levi pulled up a chair beside Eren's bed, then sat down slowly. He let out a deep sigh, hanging his head low. "Where did you go last night? What happened? Your sister told me-"

"I bought some heroin last night." Eren put it bluntly. "I couldn't hold back any longer. I was trying so hard to stay clean... But when I'm mad, that's the first thing I run to. I didn't fail to run to the needle again." He shrugged his shoulders. "I was talking to a nurse about methadone treatments to wean me off of it, but it's not cheap. My insurance only covers three treatments. So I guess I'll have no choice but to quit it cold turkey.."

"You were mad? That's why you went out in the middle of the night to find something you could refill your damn needle with? That's what you're telling me? You were that mad at me?"

"D-don't say it like that! I.. I'm not mad about it anymore, Levi. I was just-"

"So it's my fault?" Levi said softly. His voice broke Eren's heart within seconds.

"N-no, Levi! Please don't say that.. It's not your fault!"

"You got jumped?"

"Well... Yeah." Eren mumbled, laying himself back down into the hospital bed.

"Then you had surgery?"

"Yes.. They banged my head against the building hard enough to cause some bleeding.."

"What about your eyes?"

"When they punched me, the punctured the blood vessels in my eyes. The bleeding in my eyes caused them to temporarily go blind. But only for about a month. Everything is just blurry.. Something in my eyes are swollen. I don't know the technical terms." He paused for a moment, then wrapped the plain white blanket tightly around his body. "I'm sorry.."

"I'm sorry, Eren. I didn't think one mistake would lead to this."

"Please stop saying things like that, Levi. I'm really happy we went on our date. We even took pictures!"

"I'd rather have you be able to see them, Eren."

"In four to six weeks I will!" Eren smiled optimistically in Levi's direction. "I'll get better soon!"

"Not soon enough..."

"I'm alive, that's all that matters."

"You're right.." Levi faked a smile for his own sake. "You're alive, and I'm grateful for that."

"Come here." Eren held out his arms, looking like a young child wanting to be held. "Levi!"

"What?!"

"Hug me, you idiot! I spent all night alone and I've been scared without you here! I haven't even received a hug from my own lover!"

"Lover? The most we've done is kiss! Don't say such lewd things you bastard!"

A faint blush appeared on Levi's cheeks as he stood up from his chair. Eren was still laying flat on his back with his arms stretched out wide.

"Levi, please? One hug?"

"Fine..!" He sighed loudly as he got up. He leaned over slowly and wrapped his arms around Eren's body.

"My lover!" Eren giggled like a school girl as he tightly squeezed his body against Levi's. "You always smell so good! What soap-"

"Are you high?! How much morphine do they have you on?!"

"Don't talk, just hug me Levi." The young man placed soft kisses along Levi's neck. He placed a strong grip on levi, making it hard for his lover to break free. "Your skin is soft too!"

"N-not here you horny brat!"

"Why not?!" He pouted. "Isn't this sexy?"

"It's weird and the nurse is watching!!!" Levi peeped the same female nurse from this morning out of the corners of his eyes. He forced himself away from Eren.

"I came to bring Eren his medicine.." The nurse walked into the room as if nothing had happened before.

"How much of that did you see, or hear?" Levi frowned with an embarrassed blush painted on his cheeks.

"Not much!" She smiled, even though it was a lie. She head and saw everything. "I only just arrived."

"Nurse Valerie?"

"Yes, Eren?"

"I just wanted to make sure I knew who was tending to me, your voice is very unique." Eren softly smiled as Valerie unwrapped the bandages from around his eyes. "Another drop?"

"It's been four eyes already, so yes."

Eren slowly blinked his eyes open, hoping his vision has improved from this morning. Unfortunately, there was no progress in sight, only the pain from his eyes had ceased.

"They feel better.."

"They don't feel like they're throbbing anymore?"

"No.. But the light from the window still bothers them.."

"I'll close the blinds, Eren." Levi said to him.

The room became darker within seconds from the sunlight being blocked out. The nurse took the steroid drops from her pockets, and held Eren's eye open wide, putting three drops of the liquid in each eye. Eren winced slightly with each drop. Levi noticed how red his eyes became, and hoped Eren wasn't in any paid. The teen's eyes shut immediately after the application of medicine.

"Doctor Pixis told me I shouldn't need to re-bandage your eyes, but I can if you want. If the light is bothering you, I'll cover your eyes. The choice is yours."

"You can leave me the way I am. I should be okay with the blinds closed. It'll be evening soon anyways.. I think my sister would kill me if she saw me looking like that!" Eren chuckled nervously at the thought of Mikasa's reaction. "Well, she'd probably want to kill Levi for not protecting her precious baby brother."

"Huh?!" Levi's eyes almost popped out of his skull, for he hasn't seen Mikasa's bad side, and feared the unknown of her temper. He looked down at Eren with a shocked expression. "This isn't my fault, brat!"

"I'm kidding! Gosh.. Thank you nurse, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'll be here tomorrow to check on you. My shift is over now. Have a good night, ok? Sleep well."

Nurse Valerie left the room pleasantly, closing the door behind her to allow the two men privacy. Levi sat back down in the chair he sat in before. His concerned glare was locked onto Eren, who could feel Levi's stare. He laid silently in the bed with his eyes shut.

"How.. How are you feeling?" Levi finally spit it out.

"Better.. Have you talked to Mikasa?"

"She called to tell me you were here."

"Oh, I thought the hospital contacted you. I gave them your number so they could call you and tell you I was here.."

"You did? I never got a call.." He shrugged a shoulder before checking his phone. "Actually, they must have called while I was on my way here.." Levi noticed a missed call from a restricted number, and oddly, a text from Erwin. "Really..?" He mumbled to himself.

I heard your underage boyfriend got hurt. It's a shame. Hope he gets well soon... 

"Damn asshole.." Levi glared down at the text on his phone. "How the fuck would he know? And Eren is at the age of consent here.. We aren't doing anything anyways! The most we've done is kiss, no tongue either!" 

"Is something wrong?" Eren turned his heard towards Levi, though his eyes were still shut, his face showed concern.

"Uh, no.. Do you think Mikasa called the shelter?"

"Most likely.. She probably told Rose."

"Do you mind if I call Rose now?"

"You can step out if you want.. I won't mind."

"Alright, I think I need a cigarette anyways.."

"Since when do you smoke?"

"I only smoke when I get stressed out.." Levi admitted. "I could use one now.."

Levi exited the room, holding his phone in one hand, and the money for a pack of cigarettes in the other.

He bought a pack of his usual Marlboro's, and headed outside towards the designated smoking area on the hospital grounds. He dialed Roses' number after lighting up his cigarette, taking in a deep inhale of the nicotine. The smoke filled his lungs rapidly, but smoothly. He let out a small breath, only letting a small cloud of smoke exit his body.

"Rose?" He said as the other line picked up.

"Yes? Levi.. I've been meaning to call you about Er-"

"I'm with him now. I was calling to see if you knew he was at Troust Med Center."

"His sister called. She mentioned that she talked to you. I should have guessed she told you where Eren was. She also mentioned something to me..."

"Oh?"

"You and Eren are, well, close."

"Of course we are, I'm his-"

"No, she told me you two are dating.."

"I wouldn't say that. We're only talking."

"She mentioned you went on a date with him. I paired you up so you could help Eren, not make him emotionally depended of you, Levi. You of all people should that love and drugs don't mix."

"I'm aware.. But it's not like-"

"I can't have you dating another man in my church, Levi. He's only seventeen, you're almost ten years older than he is."

"I'm aware.." Levi was visibly annoyed. "We haven't done anything if that's what you're getting to.. I haven't touched Eren."

"Levi, end the relationship now."

"W-what?! No, I re-"

"I won't allow your relationship in my church. Don't make Eren emotionally dependent of you. It'll be a repeat of you and Erwin. Don't make Eren fall in love with you."

"Or else what? Huh?! What's gonna happen?! He'll be happy, is that what you don't want, for Eren to happy? You don't want to see Eren happy?!"

"I want to see him clean and back at home with Mikasa, then I want him to go back to school. I don't want him to climb into bed with you just because you're.. You know what Levi, I'm s-"

"I'm what? Venerable? Weak? What am I?"

"You're strong enough to be clean, but emotionally, you're not strong yet. Neither is Eren. He's not strong enough to become clean. I paired you up to help him. I didn't think you'd end up catching feelings for each other. You're his case worker, not his lover. This is a professional-"

"I quit then."

"What?!"

"If I can't be with him, I quit."

"Levi you won't have any place to live!"

"I don't care.."

"You'll have no money, and no job!"

"I don't care.."

"You'll loose everything!"

"I don't have anything to loose! What don't you get?! I've lost it all already! Eren's all I have!"

Just then, as the words slipped from Levi's mouth, Mikasa had turned the corner. Hearing those words, her jaw dropped slightly. Levi noticed a woman standing a few feet away from him, looking at him with shock. He hung up his phone quickly and made a dashing exit back towards the hospital's entrance.

He wasn't sure who the woman was, but he felt embarrassed to have yelled like that in public. He thought no one was around, but he figured his telling voice had brought some unwanted attention towards himself.

"Wait! Levi! Wait up!" Mikasa ran after him, trying her best to keep up. "Levi!" She yelled again.

"Huh?" He turned his head back towards her. "What the..?" Levi began to slow down and came to a halt before the doors the entered the from of the building. He panted for his breath as the woman approached him.

"I'm Mikasa.. Eren's sister." She stood with her hands on her knees. Mikasa softly panted, trying to catch her breath after chasing down Levi, who is surprisingly fast.

"That explains how you know my name.."

The two shook hands, and gave themselves proper introductions. They then walked in through the entrance together.

"I heard a man yelling as I was walking in through the back entrance.. I'm normally not curious, but I guess fate made my legs walk over to you."

"What did you hear?"

"That Eren is all you have.. I was shocked to hear you say that actually."

"Why?"

Levi let Mikasa walk into the elevator first, then followed her in, pressing the button for the fourth floor.

"I didn't think you'd fall so hard for a guy like him. Especially in such a short time.."

"It's probably selfish of me actually."

"Why do you say that?"

"He fills in the gap. A gap I've been missing for years now."

"A gap?"

"This is our floor.."

Levi squeezed his slender body through the stainless steel doors as soon as they opened wide enough for him to fit through. He was clearly avoiding Mikasa's questioning.

"I'll show you to his room."

"I also heard you say you quit.. That's what I heard you yell before I walked over."

"Oh.."

"Where will you stay?"

"I saved up some money, I'll stay at a motel for a few days."

"I have an extra futon you can sleep on.. I'm bringing Eren home with me once he's cleared to leave. You can stay with us. I'm sure he wouldn't mind!"

"Mikasa, I can't accept that."

"Your pride is too big, huh?"

"I guess you could say that.."

The two walked into Eren's hospital room. Mikasa immediately rushed to her brother, repeatedly asking him if he's okay, and if he needs anything. Eren chuckled, assuring her that he felt fine and just wants to go home already.

"Levi.. How did your call go?" Eren asked as Mikasa helped him sit up in bed. "I got this Mikasa.."

"It went fine." He lied, though not wanting to worry Eren in any way.

Mikasa's eyes bulged out from her skull. A look of confusion was spread across her face. It only took her a moment to realize Levi's reasoning. She sighed, then smiled slightly back over at Eren.

"Was Rose worried? She always overreacts when someone gets in trouble or is hurt while not in the shelter! She's kinda like a mom in a way. She worried so much about us.."

"She showed concern."

"You sound kinda down.. Are still upset about earlier? I told you this isn't your fault. Why this happened is all on me, I'm the one-"

"I'm not upset Eren. I was never mad at you, okay?"

"Levi.."

"Hm?"

"You sound.. Sad? I can't really make out your facial expression. It's too blurry.. But i can hear it in your voice."

"I'm not sad, don't worry so much about me."

"I can't help but worry about my lover!"

"Stop calling me that!" Levi blushed furiously again at hearing those words. It made Eren chuckle.

"See, now you sound like yourself!"

"Hey Eren.." Mikasa took his hand.

"Yeah?" He turned his head towards his sister.

"You're coming home with me after this is all straightened out, okay?"

"I wanted to stay with Levi, but I'm sure staying with you would be more convenient."

"He can come see you whenever he wants. I still have to work, so we'll share responsibility of you. Besides, there's more room at my place. Since mom left me the house, there's even an extra room for Levi."

"It'll be nice to sleep in my old bed again!" Eren smiled from ear to eat just from the thought of sleeping in his own bed. "The only other bedroom is mom and dad's.."

"Well yeah. I was actually going to put the extra futon in your room, if-"

"I told you I won't accept your charity, Mikasa.."

"Charity?" Eren asked, confused as to what Levi was referring to.

"Don't worry about it Eren. I'll be over every day, I can promise you that."

"Did something happen?"

"I said don't worry about it, you're under enough stress as is."

"I appreciate your concern but-"

"I'm not gonna repeat myself. I'll be back tomorrow morning to come see you again."

"A-alright.." Eren held his head down. "I'll be waiting for you to come back then."

"Visiting hours start at eight, I'll be here by nine. I'll bring you something to eat."

"You don't have to.."

"I know I don't, but I'm going to." He cleared his throat. "It was nice to finally meet you, Mikasa."

"The pleasure is mine." She stood up as he zipped his jacket. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah.." Levi pulled his carton of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. "See you soon."

He swiftly exited the room and headed downstairs by foot. The extra minute or two it took for him to use the stairs was his best bet of cooling down.

The moment he stepped outside, he lit up his next smoke and hung it from his lips, taking long drags here and there. He knew his next project was to go back to Sacred Hearts and unpack his room, then it was to face Rose.

Honestly, he only had a few options as to where he was going to stay. Since he didn't know Hanji or Mike well enough, he didn't have the guts to ask if he could stay for a few nights. Secondly, he lied about having money saved up. He only had enough for small bills and some in his bank account, thought it was only enough to keep the account open with no fees attached. He also could stay with Mikasa and Eren, which was his best bet, but telling Eren what Rose said to him didn't even ring to him as an option. Telling Eren that his mother figure disapproves of their relationship, and wants them to be apart would only hurt Eren.

Levi couldn't help but to feel as if Rose had a point. Was their relationship really just based on venerability? Or was it genuine feelings between two people? Levi couldn't put his finger on it.

Eren didn't act too much like his late sister, but they had a few striking similarities. Their eyes, their nervous chuckles, the way they smile, and how earnest they both can be.

Isabel was more outgoing, and not as well educated. She struggled in school, but managed to keep good grades purely from her effort. Her and Eren both had that "never gonna give up, no matter how hard it may be" attitude, which Levi always admired about his sister. He could tell how hard Eren was trying to stay clean, and how hard he was trying to turn his life around.

It seemed as if bad things happened to those Levi cared about. Eren may not be dead, but was badly hurt as a result of Levi's actions, in a way. He couldn't help but think that if he never acted so stupidly on their date, that this would have ever resulted, and Eren would be perfectly fine. The thought of Eren being hurt because of his own stupidity gave Levi a sick feeling in his stomach.

Levi refused to let anything bad happen to Eren. If that means leaving him alone, then leaving him alone is exactly what he'll do.


	7. New Beginnings

Later that night, Levi sat at the edge of his bed, looking around his decent sized room. It was tidy, had a nice view of the city, and was cheap. Loosing this rooming wasn't going over easy with him. Levi didn't have the money to rent an apartment, or to stay at a motel for more than two days.

"Why must my pride get in the way of everything?" He muttered to himself. "I know I should stay with Eren but.. I can't do that. I can't except Mikasa's charity. I'm tired of depending on others."

Just then, a soft knock came from outside his bedroom door. The stressed out male slowly rose to his feet, then dragged them to the door. He looked through the peephole to see Rose on the other side. A part of him didn't want to answer, but he knew he had to face this woman eventually.

"What is it?" Levi cracked the door open enough for only his face to be shown.

"We need to talk, Levi." Rose let out a deep sigh, and had a look of worry painted on her face.

"Im starting to pack up my things.. So there's no need."

"I don't what you to leave! You need the job!"

"I'll find another one.." Levi replied stubbornly.

"When?!" Rose pushed the door open, forcing herself in. "Come on, we both know quitting isn't your best option!"

"Then what is?" He closed the door behind her. "What the hell am I suppose to do?!"

"Break up with Eren! Continue to work here and take on a different case. Just.. Let him live his life. No teenage boy needs to be in a serious rel-"

"We don't have anything that serious! We went on one date! And that didn't even go well.. Dammit, what don't you get?! I'm sorry that I kissed him, once or twice. That's about as far as we got!"

"And that's about as far as you'll both get." The older woman clenched her fist in pure annoyance. "He's only seventeen. He's broken. He needs help. He doesn't need a relationship! So end it before he falls in love with you, Levi!"

"If you think I was planning on doing anything lewd with that brat, you obviously don't know me. He's the age of consent here, not that it means too much. He's old enough to know right for wrong. I wouldn't do anything to hurt him, I wouldn't take advantage of him, all I'm trying to do is help the damn boy! I didn't come here in hopes of falling for a seventeen year old brat who's hooked on the needle. You're the one who put us together, remember? It _had_ to be me. I _had_ to be the one to help him. Now.. You're taking me away from him. I think I'm too invested in him to give up now."

"I know what I said.. I'm sorry to have to take you off of his case. But you'll ruin the church's reputation.."

"Is that what this is about? You're worried about others finding out I have a slight interest in him? A homosexual couple with a nine year age gap, even though it's pretty much a nonsexual relationship at this point, are together in this church. But let's ignore the fact that Eren's been clean with me around. Let's also ignore the fact that he's in the hospital right now, he got jumped and had to have surgery, he temporally lost his eye sight, and won't leave the hospital for at least another week. You're more worried about your reputation than his health? That's low, even for you.. I already told you that I quit." Levi's eyes narrowed towards the woman he once had much respect for.

"Is this really what you want?" Rose said in a low tone; her eyes filling up with tears. "You know I have a point. You also know I'm looking out for the both of you. I'm not forbidding you to see each other. All I'm trying to say is don't have the boy fall for you. What if you hurt him? Then what? He ends heartbroken and back on drugs? He's young, and yes, he knows right from wrong, but don't you think he's made a lot of wrong decisions? He needs guidance, not a boyfriend."

"I get it.. You think I'm with him because he's like Isabel." His voice went cold and monotone. Levi's eyes seemed to gloss over as he stood there motionless; seemingly looking through Rose instead of directly at her.

"W-what? No! I never said that, Levi!"

"You think it's selfish of me to even have feelings for him, don't you?"

"You're putting words in my mouth. This has nothing to do-"

"You think it's because I've lost everything in my life that I'm trying to find something to make it better? I jumped on the first remnant of my past. The one thing that brought me joy. So you think I'm just using him?"

"Levi.. I don't even know where you're going with this. All I said-"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe it's because he reminds me of her. It's a selfish love. I'm being selfish, even though I'm happy when I'm with him. But.. Maybe it's because a part of me feels like I'm with my sister again."

"Don't say things like that. He's not Isabel. He'll never be Isabel."

"I keep telling myself that, but..."

"But what?"

"But.. I can't help but miss her. He's the closest thing I have to her, and it makes me feel whole. I don't feel like a part of me is missing with him around. I know he isn't Isabel, but he's doing a good job of replacing her."

"Don't say it like that.."

"Why not? Isn't that what he's doing? Doesn't that just make him a rebound?"

"N-no.. If he's just a rebound, why would you care so much?"

"How could I not care?" Levi forced a chuckle from his thought. He wasn't sure where these words where coming from, but they spewed from his mouth like lava.

"Can I ask you something?" Rose took a step towards him; Levi nodded yes.

"When you kissed Eren, did he still remind you of her?"

"What kind of question-"

"Did you feel like you were kissing her?" She interrupted him mid-sentence. "Or did you feel like you were kissing Eren? When you think of him, are you truly thinking of him?"

"If I'm kissing Eren, of course I'm gonna feel like I'm kissing him. Why would I.." It took Levi a moment, but he realized the point Rose was getting to. "In my mind, he's Eren. And only Eren." He mumbled.

"Then stop saying he's Isabel! He's not Isabel!" She grabbed Levi by the shoulders, and tried to physically shake some sense into him. "Why are you in such denial!? I may not approve of you both, but if he makes you happy, stop lying about it! He'll never be her.. Never.." She wrapped her arms around Levi, hugging him tightly. "I can tell that you feel for him.. So I'll give you some advice. Get that idea of your sister out of your mind, and recognize their differences rather than their similarities. You're too focused on how they're alike.. Focus on how they're different. What makes Eren special? They might have the same color eyes, and the same smile, but those may be the only things. You hold him to a high regard for a reason, the reason may be locked away in the back of your mind, and you're just too proud to admit it. Open up that part of your mind and truly accept how he's different from her, and why you truly fell for him. Okay?"

"Eren has specks of yellow and brown in his eyes, they're more hazel than hers. His smile is wider, but he smiles more with his eyes. They're nothing like hers. It's an ignorant smile. Like he doesn't know any better than to be happy when he shouldn't. That's how Isabel was. They both find reasons to smile, even when there shouldn't be any. They're different, but have similar views on life." Levi confessed. His lips seemed to move on their own. "I know he's nothing like her.. He never will be."

"You're still scarred from her death.."

"I know.." He inhaled deeply, then let out a long sigh. It felt good to finally get that off of his chest.

"Look.." Rose unwrapped her arms from Levi, and took a step back. "I don't want you to quit. I think we should work something out. I'm sorry that I lashed out too. If you want to be with him, I can't stop you. But you being on his case is unprofessional."

"I can already see where this is going.." Levi rolled his eyes.

"You and Eren can see each other outside of work.. But in here, you're nothing more than friends."

"So I won't be on Eren's case anymore?"

"I'll find you someone new. You'll still get to live here, and go on like before."

"What about Eren?" He asked. The both of them knew that was Levi's biggest concern.

"I suggest he moves back in with his sister and come here twice a week for the meetings. But that's up to him. He may want to live here longer. But his insurance will only cover another month and a half."

"It only covers three months?"

"Yes."

"Fine.. I can accept that." He shrugged his shoulders. "If it's what I have to do to keep Eren, I will. But I'm going to keep my distance till I can battle off my own demons."

"Huh? But you-"

"There's still some things I need to figure out. I know he's not her, but... Nevermind. Don't worry about it."

"Well now I'm curious Levi." She folded her arms tightly over her chest. "Are you going to take a brake from your relationship?"

"I guess you could say that.." Levi walked past the other, and headed towards his closet to get his shoes. "There's two things I need to do first."

"And what are they?"

"Maybe I'll tell you after I do them." Levi slipped his small, slender, feet into his all black shoes. "I won't ruin the surprise."

"Surprise..? What the heck are you planning on doing?"

"Remember when I told you I needed to face my demons?" Levi zipped his coat back up and rewrapped his scarf tightly around his neck.

"Yes..?" She watched the short, black haired, man as he slowly made his way towards the door.

"Who do you think they'd be?"

"You don't mean... Levi, why?!" She rushed to the bedroom door to try and stop Levi from exiting. "I'm all for moving on, but this I don't get!" She grasped on to his coat tightly.

"I'm taking the weekend off by the way. I'm not sure when I'll be back. I'm heading my hometown."

"Levi, why are you going to see her?!"

"Because, I made a promise to myself." He freed himself of Rose's grasp. "If I'm going to move on and finally start my life over, I'm going to officially bury the past."

"Please don't tell me you're going to..." She paused for a moment. "Kill her.."

"N-no. I meant it figuratively." Levi shook his head as they both exited the room. "I'll take the ride up there tonight, talk to her in the morning, then come back tomorrow evening. I said I'd go see Eren, so I'll head to the hospital before coming back here."

"You're staying out for the night? You didn't pack a bag.."

"It's not a big deal, this is a last moment thing anyways."

"At least change before you see Eren.."

"He won't realize I'm wearing the same thing.. You do remember he can't see that well, right?"

"Do you have enough money? Isn't it a long car ride?!"

"It's a four hour drive. I had somewhere I wanted to stop first.. I might not get to my mothers till morning. Who knows?"

They both began to walk down the long corridors, heading towards the back stairwell exit where Levi's rental is parked.

"You'll bury you're other demon first?"

"I need to finally tell him what I haven't had the balls to say for the last eight years."

"Do you think Erwin will take the closure well?"

"He has no choice but to. I'm moving on for good now. I won't accept his badgering and taunting anymore.."

"What has he done?"

"He made a comment about Eren.. I need to set things straight with him." Levi huffed at the thought of the text message.

"Levi.. Good luck. And please don't do anything you'll regret."

"Regret? Telling them both off is something I'll thank myself for until the day I day. I won't regret a single second of this."

 

* * *

 

The time on Levi's phone read 7:45 p.m. It was early, but time itself felt as if it was moving slowly.

Levi's heart began to race as he turned down West Jonah Road, where his ex lover lives. A part of him wanted to turn back around, and head back towards the shelter, but the other part of him orders him to stick through with his plan and get this over with.

" _What would I even say?"_ Levi wondered as he parked his car in front of the house. He noticed a few lights on inside the house, and Erwin's car in the driveway. _"I know exactly what to say, but it's actually saying it.. How the hell do I word it? Do I even go inside? But, It's now or never. It's time for a new beginning. My new begging starts now, and ends with Eren."_

With shaky hands, Levi jiggled at the cars door handle to let himself out. Though his mind was saying no, his body ignored all warnings and moved on it's own. His small, slow steps eventually brought him to the threshold of the houses front door. He hesitated to knock, but his body reacted on it's own and formed a fist; slamming on the wooden door.

"Who the hell is here at this time?" Erwin's voice vibrated through Levi's body.

"It's not even that late." He mumbled; watching the door as it cracked open slowly.

"Eh? Levi? This is an expected visit. Are you here to scold me?" He smirked lightly; thinking back to the text.

"At first I was but, I decided to be mature about things for once." Levi's lips moved on their own. At this point, he let his body take over. It was time to stop thinking so much and just say what needed to be said.

"Hm? Then what do you want?"

"I've decided to make things between Eren and I more serious. I won't allow you to come in between us, nor will I accept any unneeded contact between the both of you. Also, do not call my phone, don't text me, and don't talk to me if you bump into me at work. I-"

"You can come in and tell me." The taller, blonde male sighed. "I'm guessing there's a lot you want to tell me. I just made some coffee, so come in and have a drink."

"I'd prefer not to, Erwin."

"I'm not going to make any dirty moves, but I'm sure you know there's a lot that needs to be said. Plus, it's getting chilly out."

"Fine, but I won't stay any longer than I need to."

"Understood." Erwin stepped aside to allow the other to walk inside the house.

Levi's feet brought him to the kitchen, where he sat down with one leg crossed over his thigh. He unzipped his jacket half way, for the house was heated nicely, but Levi didn't want to get too comfortable.

"Coffee?"

"No thanks. You know I don't like coffee very much."

It couldn't be helped, all the memories of living in this house was flooding back. All the mornings they drank together, Erwin had coffee while Levi drank his tea. They both read their sections of the newspaper, and sat there quietly. Most of the time, after eating, it was time to brighten their spirits and get high.

There was no doubt that the kitchen itself was a trigger for Levi's cravings. It's been months now since he's used, but the cravings were still as strong as ever. Somehow, he felt pity towards Eren at this moment. He was feeling the same thing as Levi at this very moment, and got hurt as a result. All in all, Levi will forever be grateful that Eren is safe and in fair condition.

"If I had tea, I'd offer you some."

"Water will be fine." Levi reached for his pack of cigarettes in his pocket; taking them out along with his lighter.

"Smoking again?" Erwin slid the water bottle across the table. Levi caught it with his other hand.

"Yeah." He spoke with the stick hanging from his bottom lip. He flicked the lighter to create it's flame; lighting up the cigarette.

"I started smoking again not that long ago."

"It's a shitty habit to have." A gush of smoke exited his lungs before he spoke. "But I shouldn't be one to talk."

"Does Eren know you're smoking?"

"Nope." He took another drag.

"How is he?"

"He's alright, not that you care."

"Look, what I said was wrong, but I don't wish any harm on the boy."

"He could have died and you used the opportunity to your benefit. You wanted to get under my skin."

"There's no excuse, what I said was uncalled for. I'm glad he's okay though."

"I am too."

"Can I ask you something?" He took a sip from his coffee cup.

"Go ahead, but I might not answer."

"What is it about him?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've known him for a short time now, and you're completely invested."

"I knew there was something special about him the moment I seen him. I'm just starting to figure out what that something is."

"And what's that something?"

"He actually cares for my well being, something I'm not used to. He says he feels safe when I'm around, but.." He shrugged one shoulder. "I feel, happy I guess. I don't mind taking care of him."

"He reminds me of you when you were his age, except you were more rebellious."

"You think? He doesn't remind you of her?"

"Isabel?" He asked; Levi nodded yes. "Not really, they just have the same eyes. Then again, I don't know him very well, and I never got a chance to know your sister on a personal level."

"At first I was convinced they were the same person, until I got to know him better."

"Is that so?"

"There's things he does that reminds me of her, but there's things strangers do that remind me of her as well. I got so lost in his eyes that I couldn't see how different he was."

"He's a good guy, after all. He just needs guidance and support."

"And I'm willing to give him that."

"Good, but is that what you came here to tell me?"

"Yes." He flicked the ashes of his cigarette in the ash tray in front of him, then putting it out. "I came here to tell you that it's officially over. There will be no drunk phone calls in the middle of the night that lead to sex. They'll be no contact between us, no matter what. And I want you to stay away from Eren, and out of our relationship. I wont tolerate any contact between you and I, we are not friends, we only work together. Even then, I don't want to see you unless its at work. There's no need to even look in my direction, say hi to me, or even be around. I'm finally putting my foot down and telling you that's it over for good. I won't come crawling back, there wont be anymore sexual acts between us, nothing, And I mean absolutely nothing, EWrin. You are dead to me after I walk out of this house."

"Is that so. Did Eren tell you I seen him after our last night together. Well, the morning after actually."

"Oh?" Levi pretended as if the other's words didn't phase him.

"He seemed as if he knew what had happened."

"He's not stupid, but I don't care anymore. Just stay away from him from now on."

"I'll see what I can do." Erwin chuckled; taking the last sip of his drink. "I do work there, you know."

"As I said earlier, I won't tolerate _unneeded_ contact. I'm aware that you work there, and you know exactly what I mean."

"Mm, yeah, yeah. I'll behave myself, there's no need to worry."

"You say that, yet I still worry." Levi let out a deep sigh. "You've been warned. Everything I have said, I meant. So don't get the idea that I'm not serious, and that my eyes are only for you or something.."

Levi sat up slowly from the chair, and zipped his coat back up. He grabbed his pack of smokes and lighter off the table; putting them in his pocket.

"I'll see myself out. I have someone else I need to go see."

"Can I guess who?" Erwin stood up as Levi began to walk towards the door.

"If you wish."

"Is it your mother?"

Levi scoffed; slamming the door behind him.

"I hate when I'm right." Erwin mumbled as he watched Levi speed off. "I don't think nursing homes allow visitors so late at night, but then again, it's a long drive to his hometown. He'll probably spend the night somewhere." Erwin shrugged off the thought, and made himself another cup of coffee. "Never thought I'd see the day where he told me off whole he was sober, never mind going to see his mother, who was in a coma last time I heard."


	8. Mother Ackerman

It was on a whim, but Levi decided to spend the night at a motel a few miles away from his hometown.

 

His mother, Kuchel, was an older woman, about to turn fifty-six in July. She needed a wheelchair to get around due to the arthritis in her knees and ankles, making it hard for her to walk. Every since she turned fifty, she's been bound to her wheelchair. Levi thought of it as karma for all the times she laid down on her back to spread her legs for random men. He already knew that Isabel and him were just a product of her need to make love, and to pay the rent. To her, it was easier to have sex for money than it was to actually have a job.

 

Levi despised his mother, but knowing that her heart was soon going to give out soon was always in the back of his mind. A part of his visit was to tell her off - nicely, of course - and to see her one last time before she passes; out of respect.

 

She was currently living in Shady Hollow's, a nursing home about a mile away from the motel Levi was staying in. He picked this location for that exact reason- its close.

It bothered Levi that he was sleeping in a commonly used be though, but at this point a place to lay was nice.

 

He laid his jacket across the bed, to sleep on top of it. It was a temporary fix for his anxiety. All he could think about was how many people have had sex on this very bed. One thing he'd never do is go to a hotel or motel just to have sex. He could do that in his own room after all.

 

"I'd smack Eren if he suggested we fuck in a dirty motel. I'd rather do it in the car." Levi thought to himself. "Shit.. Now I have that lewd imagine in my mind."

Levi huffed loudly as he slid off his pants."I shouldn't sleep with these one since I'll be wearing them tomorrow.. Same with my shirt.."

 

Levi sighed as he undressed himself, only leaving on his boxers. He didn't expect to get much sleep, but he'd try his best.

 

With all the things on his mind right now- Eren, his own mother, the conversation he had with Erwin, and his future with Eren, he didn't expect to get much shut eye.

 

Just like with Erwin, he wasn't exactly sure what to say. Rather, why he was going to visit his mother in the first place. Why even put himself in this situation? Is he crazy?!

He had told her long ago that he'd never visit, though he keep tabs on her.

 

A part of him still cares because that's his mother, regardless of her heartless ways. He wasn't paying for her to stay there, but he felt as if he needed to know if she was progressing or getting worse. One day, she'll be gone, and Levi is waiting to hear that call.

 

He figured he'd say something like "mom, I'm gay, and I don't care what you have to say. I'm clean now, and in a relationship. I don't care if you approve, this is my life, and I'm finally happy."

 

Of course, he knew the words wouldn't come out like that. He may not say anything at all. So why visit?

 

He won't admit it, but her death is approaching, and this could truly be his last visit, as well as first.

 

"Let's end the tension now." He thought. "I want approval for once, that's all. I just want her to actually care for once. Maybe since she's dying, she'll be okay. That heart of hers won't last much longer. She's already had a stroke, and God only knows what other bad things have happened to her. I hope this'll make her realize her mistakes, and she'll finally expect me for who I am..." Levi sighed loudly, trying to get comfortable in the bed. "Maybe she won't still blame me for Isabel's death.. God, I hope she doesn't. Even if it's sorta my fault.. I'm not the one who pulled the trigger.."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Eren sat up in his hospital bed, looking out of the blurry window only to make out the moons light.

 

The moon itself looked like spilled milk against a black canvas; other various white spots, looking like splattered paint surrounded it. The stars really light up the sky tonight, Eren imagined it was beautiful, what he could make of mother nature's art anyways.

 

Admiring the night sky was something he often did, and loved to  do. If being a singer couldn't happen in his life, he wanted to study the stars, and the moon, maybe even travel to space one day.

 

All these dreams and goals, all of them held back by his nasty habit, and he knew it.

 

Eren also knew he had to allow himself to get help. Levi was willing to help him, and seemed willing to do what it takes for this to happen.

 

"He must really care about me, huh?" Eren wondered, also hoping his thought was true. "He sounded worried about me after all, he must care at least a little. It's not like I'm not good enough for him.. Am I good enough for him? Or am I just,  _her?_."

 

Eren sighed, changing his train of though. He wondered what time it was, but knew it didn't matter much. His eye sight was still far too blurry to make out the clock on the wall opposite of him. In a few days though, he should be able to start making out the numbers, and other objects around his room, and then be able to go home; his childhood home. If he makes good progress within the next four or five days, they'll allow him to leave.

 

He felt as if he was getting better each minute, and didn't see a problem with going home in five days. He felt good, his sight seemed to be getting better with the medince the doctor's were giving him. He was confident for once in something.

 

Eren wasn't blind, he just had trouble seeing things more than a foot away form him. If it wasn't for the beating, he'd be fine right now. Well, for the most part.

 

Karma was what this was in Eren's mind. He wasn't mad at the men who beat him to a pulp, he was mad at himself. There was no reason for Eren to be out so late, nor should he have been out buying drugs. His goal that night was to get high. Eren's veins boiled over at the thought of shoving the needle into his worn out arms. He was furious that night over something so trivial, and wanted to use drugs as a relief.

 

It was always what he ran to. Heroin. The needle. The rushing sensation that flooded his body and made his whole body go numb for what seemed like an eternity. Eren was always searching for the high he reached his first time shooting up. Always.

 

But nothing can compare to the first time his heart rate spiked, the first time the hair stood up on the back of his neck, and the blood in his veins flowed faster, became hotter. The tips of his fingers felt as if the didn't exist.

 

Nothing mattered anymore.

 

There was no sound, no worries or problems, just light and serenity.

 

The numbness of his body  was overwhelming, and everything around him moved slowly.

 

Nothing crossed his mind excepting getting high again.

 

This feeling of feeling nothing was what he alwahs wanted to feel. Pain was no longer an option in his mind.

 

But now that he's clean, and now that he has found someone he cares about, Eren has more of a reason to get clean. It's not only for himself, but for Levi and his sister.

 

"I'll make Levi proud.. I'll show Mikasa I can do it." He whispered to himself before drifting off into a deep sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The nursing home's south side faced a lake that held much wildlife. Ducks, frogs, the occasional fox came by to drink from its fresh water.

 

Kuchel loved the view.

 

She thought the animals were mocking her though; moving freely, actually living and being along side their family. It was truly a smack in the face.

 

She wondered if Levi requested this room for her in hopes that she'd be jealous of seeing living things actually existing; seeing them prosper and seeing that these animals have an actual purpose in live.

 

Kuchel was living, not existing.

 

Her eyes almost popped out of her skull as her son walked into her room for the first time. The feeling in her chest was almost unexplainable. Anger, hatred, love and regret all at the same time would be the best way to describe it. Words wouldn't form as she opened her mouth to speak.

 

"Son.." She managed to say.

 

"Mother.." Levi responded dryly as he pulled up a chair and sat beside her.

 

She was in her wheelchair, facing the window. As she does every morning, she was admiring the lake and how the body of water glistened under the sun's rays.

 

She turned herself slightly to face him.

 

Kuchel was a thin, fragile looking woman, and looked much older than her actual age. Her once silky, black hair, just like Levi has, has turned grey and thin, only reaching her shoulders. It used to be down to the middle of her back, always tied up or in a braid. Her skin was once as pale as Levi's, but now looks ever whiter as the sun from the window hit her skin. It was like wrinkled porcelain. The bright blue eyes were no longer bright, but were faded out, and looked darker. Levi thought it was the look of death in her eyes. There was no longer any life left in her eyes, nor in her skin, her smile was weak. Kuchel had a full set of dentures, top and bottom, and only having seven of her real teeth left.

 

This was karma at its best.

 

"You haven't changed, Levi." She finally found the courage to talk. "You look the same way you did when you left. It's been almost ten years now, hasn't it? Since you moved in with Erwin."

 

"Just about, but I haven't been with him for a while. I'm living on my own now."

 

"He was never any good for anyways." She smiled in relief. "He only wanted to use you."

 

"He's not a bad person, honestly. There was a point where I loved him, and was emotionally dependent of him, but what we both needed was separation and to get clean. We're both in a better place. Some people just aren't meant to be."

 

"Did you come here to tell me that? I'll admit it made me feel better knowing you're finally independent from him." Kuchel placed a shaky hand on her sons shoulder. "I know my son much better than that."

 

"I found someone better." He muttered. "Someone who actually gives a damn about me."

 

"Oh? Is that so?" She nodded slowly. "You came for my approval."

 

"I don't need it from you, women. I'm starting my life over, and wanted to burry all my hatchets."

 

"You're old, crippled mother is one of them? You're putting me in your past?"

 

"I'm moving past what happened before I met him. Everything that happened between us will be forgotten after I leave this room. I can't promise that I'll be here on a regular basis, but maybe I'll come see you when I can." Levi sighed as his chest began to clench. "Your doctor called me a while ago, he told me that your heart is growing weaker. Your heartbeats are irregular and causing you pain."

 

"It's true." She turned her wheelchair back to view the window. "The arthritis in my knees and ankles are so bad that I can't even stand. I'm lucky I can I move this chair on my own. But.." Kuchel turned her head towards Levi. "Living here alone for all these years, I've done a lot of thinking. This is simply karma."

 

"I'm glad I didn't have to tell you that. Much easier on my part."

 

"See, you're still the same, bratty son that I raised on my own."

 

"Raised may not be the best word.." His eyes narrowed towards his mother, who just let out a chuckle.

 

"You're right, I was never much of a mother to you, nor was I to Isabel. I should have never had children in the first place, but I did. Somehow, Levi, you came out alright. Maybe not the ideal son. No wife, children, you're not a doctor or lawyer with a yacht, but this is the happiest I've ever seen you."

 

"Happiest?" He questioned. "How the hell-"

 

"You're glowing. I can just tell.. You're hiding it behind that stone cold face of yours, just like you did when you got your first dog when you were twelve. You pretended not to care, but you were a parent to that dog, when he died you looked broken inside. Your cared for him. What was his name? Bennie?"

 

"Benji." Levi corrected her. "And don't compare Eren to a dog."

 

"I'm not?" Kuchel raised a brow. "I see you're still putting words in people's mouth. I'm guessing your new boyfriends name is Eren?"

 

"That's his name, but he's not my boyfriend. We don't have anything serious."

 

"Yet you're here, with the women you dislike the most, telling me you've moved on to someone you aren't serious with?"

 

"It's just not like that. Things are getting in the way, but I do.." Levi paused; looking out towards the lake. "I do really love him."

 

"Love, huh? Does he know this?"

 

"Of course not. I've only known him a few months."

 

"Love is a serious thing, don't fuck around with it."

 

"Tsk.." He clicked his tongue. "I know that!"

 

"I'd like to meet him.. I've come to accept it, you being romantically involved with other men. I'm too old to care about it now. I'm happy to see you happy, and I'm more than happy that you're here with me."

 

"One last thing." Levi slowly turned his head to his mother. "Well, a few more things."

 

"What is it?"

 

"There's things I've never got to tell you, things that will hurt for you to hear, but they're things I need to get off of my chest. You can block your ears and not listen, but they need to be said. This is just a part of me moving forward in my life, and leaving all that negative shit in the past. So just let me speak."

 

"F-Fine.. Go ahead." His words caught her by surprise. She already knew what Levi was going to say. Nothing she didn't already know was truly going to hurt her. These past few years made her realize everything she did wrong. Kuchel knew these things needed to be said and heard.

 

"You never showed us you cared growing up. Isabel needed new clothes as she grew bigger and you made her wear things too small. You choose to spend that state check on booze and crack. You let her get made fun of and picked on because you were selfish and narcissistic. Strange men were trafficked in and out of the house, and each and every time you made us stay in the cold, damp basement as you did them for money to support your habit. You made me wear Isabel's old clothes when I grew out of mine since she was taller than me. I resorted to stealing so people wouldn't throw gay slurs at me for wearing women's clothing! It was bad enough that I was already conflicted, at thirteen, about my sexuality. Don't even get me started about your reaction to Isabel's death! The only women that ever tried to care for me was her. The day she turned sixteen she got a job. Her first paycheck went towards feeding us both food while you were out getting shit faced with random men! She bought me new clothes, things for school and stupid shit like body wash because you wouldn't! When she died I lost the only thing that has meaning in my life. That's right before I met Erwin, someone who gave me attention and someone I could get high with. Do you not realize when I resorted to drugs? Or were you blinded to it? You blamed me for her death anyways! It's been ten years, mother. Ten. Fucking. Years. Ten years I've been without someone who cares about me, and I've finally found someone. Eren cares. He's sweet. He's just as fucked up as me, but he try's every day to get better. He may fail sometimes, but he's strong and picks himself back up. He may be younger than me, and he may be dumb when it comes to love, but so aren't I. He's brought out sides of me I didn't know existed. He's made new feel things I never dreamed of feeling. Seeing him hurt nearly killed me. I've never met anyone who actually wants to get to know me. He wants to know everything about me, and as scary as that is, a part of me wants to spill my guts to him, and that's even scarier. You may hate the fact that I'm not straight, but I mean it when I say that I love Eren. I'll always love my sister, and I never thought I'd have room in my heart for anyone else, but I was wrong. There isn't a piece of me that doesn't love him." Levi took a deep breath as he stood up from the chair. He needed a second to calm down.

 

Tears had formed in his mother's eyes as he spoke. These words of love had touched her heart, and repaired some damage his childhood confessions had done to her.

Though hurt, she was truly moved by the level of maturity her son was showing. Admitting his feelings was something Levi would never do. She had no idea what Eren was like, but she knew he must be special to have her only son so wrapped around his finger, and in love. Kuchel hoped this wasn't all an act, but by the seriousness in Levi's tone, she knew this was real.

 

"Words can't express how sorry I am for what I've put you both through. I won't even waste your time trying." She began to speak. Her voice breaking up as she held back tears. "I know her death isn't your fault, and I'm glad you've found a source of happiness again. I'm glad this Eren person cares for you. I hope he loves you too."

 

"H-He loves me, too." Levi said, clearly unsure. "I need to go see him like I promised. It's bad enough I lied about coming to see him in the morning. I won't arrive there till tonight."

 

"Convey him a message for me." Kuchel wheeled herself over to her nightstand and took out a notepad. Her hand rattled as it reached for a pen. She scribbled down a few words and folded up the paper, passing it to Levi. "Don't read it, let him read it."

 

"He can't read it." He rolled his eyes; taking the folded sheet and stuffed it in his pocket.

 

"What? Is he illiterate or something?"

 

"Nah, he got jumped and beaten pretty badly. Bleeding in his brain, a broken nose, I think his arm got fractured, but not broken and his eyes.. Well, they're all black and blue. He got raccoon eyes." He shrugged; putting the situation bluntly.

 

"He got punched so hard his lights got knocked out?"

 

"Pretty much, his vision is blurry. It should be back within the next week or two."

 

"Tell him I hope for a quick recovery."

 

"I will." Levi cleared his throat. "As I said before, everything will be different after I leave this room. The past will be behind me for good."

 

"Understood." His mother smiled.

 

"Good.." He said softly with his back to her. "I don't know when I'll see you, but it won't be ten years from now." Levi stopped before the threshold. "Next time I come, I'll bring Eren."

 

"I'll be looking forward to meeting him, Levi. Thank you for finally coming to visit me."

 

  
_... But this may be the last time we meet._ Kuchel thought to herself as Levi walked over the threshold.


	9. X

It was nearly night fall when Levi made it to the hospital. Mikasa was sitting on the side of Eren's bed while he sat up eating his dinner, though he was only picking at it. Eren's mind was too crowded with thoughts to eat. 

Mikasa turned her head as she heard the light foot steps coming from the door. Her face remained stoic as she seen Levi, and let out a sigh. 

"Look who finally made it." She mumbled, sounding as if she was mocking him. 

"Levi.. You're late." Eren pushed his plate away and proceeded to cross his arms tightly over his chest. His bottom lip pouted out slightly. 

"Can we have a minute?" Levi looked down towards Mikasa. She said nothing as she got up from her chair and exited the room. "I want to talk to you, Eren."

"I've been waiting all day for you.." 

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Who were you with that you couldn't make it here?!" Eren raised his voice. His eyes wouldn't dare face Levi. "Is he that much better than me?! God, don't tell me it wasn't Erwin!" The boy was clearly holding back tears. 

"I seen him last night, but-"

"What does he have that I don't?! What makes him so important to you? Am I not important?!" 

"Eren, just listen for a moment." He sighed. "It's not like that."

"Then what's it like? I'm here, alone, and you're out doing God knows what! With HIM of all people!" 

"Calm down, and let me explain." 

Levi sat in the same spot Mikasa was just in. He let out a sigh of impatience, but knew once he explained the situation, Eren would calm down. Hopefully. Though it's a long shot. 

"Last night, when went to go see him, it was to say goodbye. I told him that there's nothing left between us, and that there will be zero contact between him and I. Also, that he is to have minimal contact with you. You're mine, and I won't allow him to get in the middle of that. He's not ruining the only bit of happiness I have." 

"Y-Yours?" Eren stuttered, now looking back over at him. "I'm yours?" 

"Of course you are, what kind of question is that?" 

"Then where you this morning? If you where with him, I'll-"

"I wasn't, trust me. I didn't spend the night there. I spent that night at a motel in my hometown. This morning, I visited my mother."

"Your mom?!" 

"Yeah." He sighed again, looking out of the window. "There were things I needed to tell her before I put my past behind me."

"I thought your parents were dead.."

"I thought I mentioned my mom to you before.."

"I don't remember, but everything's been a daze lately, so.."

"It's fine, she's nothing special anyways."

"So, what did you tell her?" Eren reached out his hand to Levi, palms facing up, craving to be held. 

"That I'm in love." He ran his fingers softly of Eren's palm before holding on to it lightly. 

"W-What?" The green eyes staring back at him began to fill up with tears. "Love..?"

"That kinda slipped out, sorry." Levi shrugged, though his cheeks blushed a light pink. "But I told her how I hope she accepts that fact that I've moved on, and that I'm still not straight. Shit like that.. Oh, and she wrote you something, but I told her what had happened to you. So once your eyesight is better, you can read it."

"I'm guessing she's okay with it now?"

"In a way. She'd like to meet you one day. Maybe once you're feeling better."

"I bet you look like her.." Eren mumbled, smiling from ear to ear. 

"I look exactly like her. It's scary."

"I look like my mom, too." 

"Is that so?" 

"Levi? Can I ask you something?" He muttered. 

"What is it?"

"Mikasa told me you got into a fight with someone on the phone a few days ago. Who was it?"

"She got a big ass mouth." Levi rolled his eyes. "Rose. It was Rose."

"Huh?! Why?!" Eren was clearly in shock. "I know she's like a mother to you, but why would you two argue?"

"It was over you." 

"Me?! What the hell did I do?!"

"She found out we've been sorta seeing each other, and she freaked out. You're a minor still, at least for a few more months, though you're the age of consent, our age gap is pretty big. Frankly, I am too old for you, and I'm a huge pervert for finding you attractive, that's what it comes down to. She thinks it's unhealthy for us to be together. What you need is to get clean, and focus on bettering yourself, not being with an older man. Honestly, I agree with her."

"But Levi.." Eren jerked his hand away. "You just said you loved me.."

"I do, Eren. But I'm not going to rush some teenager into a relationship. So I've decided-"

"Don't say it, please.." His eyes began to fill up again. The look of devastation set in. "You just said I was yours.. That means we are together, right?"

"I think we shouldn't see each other till after you turn eighteen. I know what I said, but-"

"Levi, please.." 

"Eight more months, right? Focus on staying clean, and we'll be in touch."

"You're leaving me like its nothing. I'm having a hard time believing that you love me." Eren stubbornly pouted. 

"Eren, this is for you, not me. I know you don't understand-"

"Like hell I would understand!" He began to yell. "One minute you love me, the next minute you're leaving me?! What kind of shit is that, Levi?!"

"You're too young. You're still struggling with staying clean. You're just starting to get your life together, and I'm not going to be the one who ruins it. Don't you realize the reason your here is because of me? You're in the fucking mess because I did something stupid, right?"

"That's not true at all, none of that is true. All I have is you, and my sister. That's it. I thought I had someone else who actually gave a damn about me, but I guess not." Eren quickly turned his head to the side, avoiding eye contact with Levi. 

"Stop being so stubborn, I'm doing this for you. Leaving you kills me. But I promise you-" Levi stood to his feet. "Once you're old enough, and you come see me, I'll give you every little piece of me." He bent over and placed a kiss on Eren's cheek. "I promise."

"You're going to make me wait that long to finally have you?" 

"It's what's best."

"It's not.. You're being selfish and crude."

"I am not, Eren."

"If you loved me, you want to work things out. We'd have a platonic relationship, no sex, maybe just cuddling or something, but we'd be together. Why can't we do that?!"

"Because, Eren, I wouldn't be able to control myself. There isn't a part of me that doesn't crave your touch." 

Eren looked back over at the older man, the tears in his eyes slowly starting to dry up. 

"You want me?"

"I need you." 

"Then why're you leaving?" Eren whimpered, trying to hold back from bursting out into tears. 

"Because you need yourself more. Do you get it now?" 

"I.. I.." 

"I'm sorry, but we'll be in touch." Levi kissed Eren's forehead lightly. "Call me when you get out of the hospital, I'll come see you." He said as he began to walk out of the room. 

"You'll still visit me, right?"

"I will as much as possible, Eren. Don't worry."

"Bye for now, Levi."

"See you later, brat." He waived as he stepped over the threshold. 

Mikasa was standing outside of the door. She glared at Levi with her dark eyes that were filled with hatred. He knew she must have heard everything, and was pissed off that he was leaving Eren. Hopefully, after she calmed down, she'd understand. 

Levi knew he was wrong. He knew it. His intentions were golden, though. He didn't want to hurt Eren, he wanted to free Eren. That last thing he'd do, on propose anyways, is hurt this young man. Young.. That word replays in his head over and over again. Seventeen. Too young to be involved with someone twenty-six. 

If it wasn't for Levi, Eren wouldn't be stuck in a hospital bed, and if it wasn't for Levi, Eren would probably be happy, clean, and living with his sister. Things in Eren's life haven't been good since Levi came around. 

At least that's what he thinks. 

In reality, it's the total opposite, Levi just can't see it yet. 

Every little ounce of happiness that's been restored in Eren's life all started when Levi came around. 

It was the first time someone really pushed Eren to stay clean, and the first time someone went out of their way to make sure of it. 

Though Eren has Mikasa, having someone who isn't family care for you is a whole different feeling. Something Eren isn't used to. 

Ever since he was younger, around fourteen, the time others showed they cared was when they needed something. Every single time. But Levi didn't need anything from this boy, not a damn thing. He seen a spark in Eren, a part of his own past when he looked into the boys eyes, a piece of his younger self mixed into Eren's soul. 

Though Eren is his own person, that nostalgic feeling was always present in his beautiful, green eyes. It's a feeling of comfort and tranquilly when Levi's around him. Just staring into the others eyes calms him down. He can't explain it, but those eyes have worked wonders on it. 

It took Levi some time to figure out what it was when they first met. Deep down, he knows there's more to it that nostalgia. Maybe love at first sight? Was Levi in denial of his feelings from the start, and still is even now?

Could it be true? The moment their eyes met, love already began to bloom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammar errors!
> 
> Please leave comments / concerns :) also, the story is about half way through. I hope you've all enjoyed it thus far.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the Hiatus! I've been working like crazy so I haven't had time to write :( But I hope this chapter is good, and that you enjoy it. I'll try my very best to have the next chapter up within the next month or so, a long time, I know.. But work.. school starting up soon.. that may be the best I can do. 
> 
> As always, sorry for an typos, if there are any, and I'm sure there's some I over looked, please let me know so they can get fixed! :)

"It's been weeks." Eren thought to himself. "Levi said he'd come to visit me. I get out tomorrow, but my pride won't let me dial his number."

He looked over to Mikasa, who was cutting up the chicken on his plate, just like mom use to do. She felt his eyes watching her, and looked up with a curious face.

"Is something wrong?"

"No." He lied. "I was just thinking."

"That's a dangerous thing." She teased. "I'm guessing you're thinking about Levi?"

"Maybe.."

"You don't need that pervert midget in your life, anyways." She sighed. "You're too good for him."

"You say that, yet I think it's the other way around.."

"Other was around?" She tilted her head. "How so?"

"I think he's too good for me. He's supporting himself, he's clean, has a nice car, wears nice clothes. Maybe he doesn't make six figures, but he's doing well in life at this point, at least he is compared to me. His past isn't great, but he's overcome it. He's much farther in life than I am."

"That's because he's pushing thirty. He's never been to college. Probably didn't finish high school, and has been a drug addict most of his life. I don't see how he's better than you."

"Mikasa.. You just described me." Eren mumbled. "I haven't finished high school. I probably won't go to college. And I've been using for a few years now. If it wasn't for Levi.. I still would be."

"I didn't mean it like that, Eren. I'm sorry."

"I know.. I really like this guy.. Like a lot."

"So why did he leave? You still haven't told me."

"Because he thinks I'm better off without him. He blames himself for me being hurt.. I'm fine now, you know. He should be grateful I'm not dead! He even told his ex that he won't allow him to come in between us. Mikasa, he told me he loves me."

"It's been too short of time to know if it's love, Eren."

"You have to realize that Levi's only been with one person, and that one person never actually cared about him. I don't think he knows anything about love, but we are in the same boat. He's just as immature as I am when it comes to this stuff. I think he cares about me, and I care about him too."

"Aren't you suppose to be mad at him?" Mikasa pushed the plate of food in front of Eren.

"I am, a little bit. But it's so hard to stay mad at him! Haven't you seen how adorable he is?!"

"He's nothing special.." Mikasa mumbled.

"He said he'd come to see me if I called him. He told me to call him when I get out. Could you call him for me?" Eren tried giving Mikasa his classic puppy dog eyes.

"No! Call him yourself!"

"But I'm still kinda mad.."

"Then I'll text him, and say that you're being discharged tomorrow morning." She sighed, giving a clear sign that she gave in.

"Thank you." Eren smiled. "Have him meet us at home!"

 

* * *

 

Around lunch time, after Eren had just settled into his old bedroom, the sound of the doorbell rang in his ears. He heard Mikasa yell "I'll get it" as he ran down the stares, almost tripping.

"Is it Levi?!" He asked, out of breath as he reached the kitchen.

"It's me." He smiled softly, as Eren ran into his arms. "How are you?"

"I'm good! I'm better now, I can see a few feet in front of me, and thankfully, there's no permanent damage. Another week and I'll be good." He took Levi's hand and leaded him towards the kitchen table. "Mikasa and I made lunch, I hope you like it. Well, it's more like an early supper. You like pork, right? I know you like chocolate, so I had Mikasa buy chocolate milk yesterday. Do you want a glass? Oh god, what if you're lactose intolerant? I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, stop rambling on." Levi rolled his eyes. "You missed me that much?"

"He hasn't shut up about you.." Mikasa growled.

"I missed you." Eren chuckled. "I'm still a little upset, but.."

"I don't blame you, I can't apologize enough. I'm not here to speak about that though. You invited me to lunch, and I promised you I'd come see you, so here I am."

"I'm glad you're here, Levi." He smiled, pulling out a chair at the table for him.

"I told you I'd come, I wouldn't lie to you."

Mikasa let out a chuckle, and shook her head at the two men. "Sure.."

"Eren, after lunch I need to do some shopping. Would you like to come with me?"

"Y-Yes! I'd love to!"

"Apparently, I need new clothes."

"According to who?" Eren questioned.

"Since you're no longer at the shelter, I took on a two new cases. One of the guys I'm helping says I dressed like an old man."

"Oh?" The tone in Eren's voice shifted. "And who is he?"

"His name is Eld, he's about my age. Maybe you know him? He's been at the shelter a few months I think."

"Yeah, I know him.."

"You sound like you don't like him?"

"He's okay I guess. Nothing special to look at, stupid ponytail, taller than me, but whatever."

"I never said he was attractive, and I defiantly didn't say I liked his hairstyle." Levi accept the plate as Mikasa pushed it towards him; thanking her.

"Is he funny? Caring? Compassionate? Mid he old enough for you?" Eren asked, twirling his for around against his plate.

"I don't know.. It's not like I know him very well. All I'm trying to do is help him get clean."

"I know him, Levi. Maybe you aren't his type, but you're gorgeous, and I'm sure he'd jump at you."

"He told me he was dating someone, not that he mentioned who."

"And what did you say?"

"Good for him. I don't actually care, I hope you aren't surprised."

"Did you tell him you had a boyfriend?"

"He didn't ask, so I didn't say. He doesn't need to know such personal things about it."

"Oh god.." Mikasa huffed, looking away from the two idiots who sat across from her.

"Why wouldn't you make it known?" Eren glared over at Levi. "Aren't you proud?"

"I don't know. I just didn't say anything."

"Am I not good enough?"

"Eh?" Levi tilted his head with a clear look of confusion on his face. "What kind of question is that? You're fucking perfect in my eyes."

"I-"

"Look, I don't know what you want me to do about this. Should I just call him now? Tell him that I'm in a relationship, that I won't allow him to make any passes at me even though he's already happily taken, not gay, and not at all romantically or sexually interested in me? Tell me, Eren."

"Y-Yes.." He paused. "Wait, no. Don't. Forget it, okay? I'm sorry.."

"You're too worried, I told you I'm not going anywhere.."

"I know.." Eren mumbled. He finally took a bite of his food, though at this point it was going cold.

His head hung low as he ate, occasionally looking over towards Levi who seemed calm and unaffected. Of course, like always.

 _Always here, huh_? Eren thought to himself. _Forever is a long time you know, Levi. Can you really handle me for that long?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **One** **month later**

 

 

As he usually does on Wednesday's, Levi sat in at the support group meeting, though not running it, he stayed by his cases sides. Eld to his right, Gunther to his left.

"Anyone else willing to share today? Eld? We haven't heard from you in a while.." Rose said with a smile. "It'd be nice if you shared something. How 'bout it?"

"I guess.." He shrugged one shoulder, then clears his throat before continuing. "Well, I've been clean for one month now, almost to the date. I fell off a few times, but I got right back up thanks to Levi. There were nights that I couldn't sleep, or I was just lost in my own thoughts, and felt the urge to do a line. Even when I'm bored, I want to do it. Right now.. I'd love to feel the sensation of felling nothing at all. A blank mind, numb limbs, the feeling of pure nothingness. I crave it. Everyday, every minute, every second. I can't help it.. But Levi taught me something great, that there's more to life than feeling nothing. That it's okay to be depressed, angry, scared.. All of those things are normal, and that there's other ways of controlling my emotions, and how to deal with the pressure of everyday life. I recent got into drawing again, going for runs in the morning, and going to the gym down the street. I've gained some weight, but it's all in muscle. I look better, I'm starting to fell better, and even though I still crave it, I'm okay without it. I'm so proud to actually say that.." The tears in his eyes filled up slowly; Eld chuckled lightly, trying to play off his emotions. "I'm just happy, finally."

"Looks like Levi's made an impression of a few of you." Rose implied with a smile upon her face. "I'm glad, Eld. Thank you for sharing. Anyone else?"

"I'd like to say something." Levi rose a hand. "It's a story, actually. But I'd like to share it."

"O-Oh. Great, we're willing to listen. So whoever you're ready."

"Excuse me if this is too personal and unprofessional, but not too long ago, I found something, well someone, that I find happiness in. I've told these two boneheads numerous times that happiness comes from within, that you can't find it in other. Now, I still stick to what I've said, but there's an exception to every rule, right? Eld found happiness in art and working out, while Gunther got back into skateboarding, where he finds happiness. I found it in making my someone happy. Making them smile makes me happy. Seeing them happy is joyous to me. Hearing them laugh, joke, little things like that, are just heart warming. Corny, I know. But that's what love does. Not just love between two people, but the bond and emotions that are connected with it. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, everyone. Relationships formed by choice are stronger than relationships formed at birth. All I'm trying to say is, find something that makes you happy. Something you can go to when you feel like using. I don't care if it's drawing, a sport, listening to music, writing poetry, watching a certain show, and if you're me, it's going to visit your significant other and sitting down having you favorite cup of tea while listening to them blab on about things no one cares about. I've been in your shoes, and I know what it's like, I know it's hard, but willpower really does bring you guys far. If I can do it, than I'm more that positive that every single on of you will. I know you'll fail at first, maybe more than once, but keep trying. It gets better, easier, you get stronger. Maybe right now you don't think so, but at least give me a chance and believe me. I've already been through this, and even now I still struggle. You learn to live. You learn to fight. You learn that life without drugs in probably a little more boring, but is so worth it." Levi finally paused to look around the circle of people. "Sorry, I kind of rambled on."

"N-No, it's fine. Thank you so much. That was beautiful put. I'm glad you shared that with us. A certain someone has truly rubbed off on you." Rose teased. "That concludes today's meeting, thank every single on of you for showing up today. It's a shame we were one short today, though."

Rose stopped Levi at the threshold, making him wait till everyone exited. They both sat back down. Rose let out a sigh.

"Where was Eren today?"

"At home I guess."

"He said he'd come today.."

"He must not feel good today, he was still in bed last time I talked to him. Eren never mentioned coming here today."

"He usually comes to at least one or two meetings a month. I called him yesterday, and he said he'd come in today."

"I'll call him again, but I'm sure he's fine. Besides, I wouldn't want him to hear all that sappy crap I said today."

"He would have teared up.."

"I know." Levi rolled his eyes. "An emotional brat he is."

After pulling his phone from his sweater pocket, Levi dialed the others number; waiting patiently for Eren to answer.

"I'll try again.." He mumbled as he redialed; waiting again. "No answer.. That's weird."

"Maybe you should go see him."

"It has been a while since I've last seen him in person."

"How long?"

"I don't know, maybe three weeks. But I call him almost everyday."

"Levi.. It's a fifteen minute drive to his house. You haven't been that busy, have you? Not to go over there for an hour? Even just to say hi?"

"I'm a busy man, Rose.." Levi let out a sigh. "Besides, Eren is busy too, looking for work and trying to go back to school. He thinking about getting his GED, then going off to community college. The last thing he needs is me in his hair."

"Oh come on Levi, you can't be that dumb!"

"Excuse me?" He raised a brow.

"Don't you think that of all the time Eren needs you, now would be the time he needs you most?" Rose shook her head slightly. "You're smarter than this, Levi.. Now go!"

"G-Go..?"

"Go see him! Now! I'm not going to repeat myself."

"You're a confusing old lady, you know." Levi huffed, as he stood up on his feet. "I felt like visiting him anyways, so I'll be heading off now."

Calm, cool, and collected; Levi made his way towards the door, pacing himself out of the room. With shoulders back, and small breaths, he kept himself level headed for the moment. It was true that Levi easily kept him calm in most situations, and appeared to not be bothered, but today, though he appeared to be this way, he was hiding fear behind his steel eyes.

What if Eren really does need him? What could a man like levi do in such a situation. Someone who's never been needed has suddenly become a priority, and a shoulder to cry on.

Levi never has seen himself as a rock, but more of a hard place. Eren was his rock, for reasons other than romantic attraction. It was more than that. It has little to do with sex, and more to do with emotional stability.

"You bring out the best in me." Levi once told Eren. "Sides of me I didn't know even existed. Thank you."  

Right now, the only thing on Levi's mind is making sure his rock is still in one piece.


	11. Chapter 11

"Eren! Mikasa!" Levi slammed his closed fist against their front door. "Open up! I've been standing out here for ten minutes! Come on, I can see your car in the driveway."

"What do you want?!" He heard Eren's voice get closer. "Go back home."

"Open the door, I came to see you. I wanted to know why you didn't attend today's meeting."

"Because I didn't feel like going, will you leave now?!"

"No! I came to see you! Open the door!"

"Levi!" He raised his voice, sounding more serious. "Please.."

"Unlock it before I break it down." Levi warned. "Now."

"F-fine.." Eren sighed, turning the locks, and slowly opening the door.

"O-oh.." The other tried not to drop his draw. Eren stood in front of him with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Shower?"

"Not yet.." He mumbled with a small blush in his cheeks.

"Where's Mikasa?"

"Work." Eren answered dryly.

"Why's her car here?"

"She got a ride."

"Why are you acting strange?" Levi pushed his way through the door; walking past Eren into the kitchen.

"N-no reason.."

"You're such a bad liar." He sighed, laying his jacket on the back of the kitchen table. "Rose was asking about you."

"R-really now?" Eren forced out a chuckle. "Uh.. can you come back later, Levi? Let me shower and get dressed, then we can go out for lunch or something."

"I can just wait here, does it take you hours to get ready or something?" He asked, sitting down with his legs crossed.

"Yeah, it takes me like, twenty minutes to shower, but then if we're going out i'm gonna wanna look really nice for you."

"Bullshit.." Levi scouffed, looking back up towards Eren's eyes. "I'd rather see you naked anyways."

"I'd let you see, but you won't touch." Eren stated, now looking annoyed.

"I would if I could, trsut me. I'd love to."

"You could, I wouldn't tell anyone. But you wont, so.."

"You can't wait for your birthday for me to fuck you?" He put it bluntly. "That shows how much of a brat you are."

"Hey Eren!" A foreign voice called out. "Are you ready?"

"Company?" Levi mumbled, looking back at an almost naked Eren.

"Levi, It's not-"

"You know, when I was younger, my sister used to warn me about guys." Levi said, as he lifted himself up from the kitchen chair. "When you cant provide for someone, they go out and find it somewhere else, with someone else. I thought it was her excuse for having sex with her partners so much, but in reality, she was just scared to loose them." Levi sighed softly as he made his way towards the front door; Eren standing in place, his feet refusing to move. "As a man, I never realized how our own minds work, strange huh?" He looked back towards Eren; his hand gripping the doorknob. "Enjoy yourself for once, will ya? I'll call later or something."

"Levi.. Levi wait!" Eren called out, forcing his legs to move, but it was too late. The door slammed in his face before he could even stop it. "I'm sorry.." He said under a shallow breath. "But I can't wait forever."

"I know.." Levi thought to himself, hearing the desperation through the wooden door. He stood idle, unsure of his next move.

Sure, he probably looked suspicious with his back to their front door, a clearly red, angered face, one mixed with other emotions. His narrow eyes and clenched fist making it worse.

Was he to bust the door down and beat the life out of the guy inside the house? Or should he be mature and tell Eren his feelings? All rationality at this point went out the window.

"I'm going to kick his ass." Levi growled, gripping the door knob again; swinging it open. "Eren! Where is he!" Levi screamed, stomping loudly up the stairs.

He kept his ears open for sounds of pleasure and ecstasy; checking every door upstairs trying to find his lovers bedroom. Who knew the house these siblings inherited had so many damn rooms?

"Eren!" He screamed. "You better not be hiding him from me!"

As he approached the last door, he could hear whispering, along with other muffled sounds. Jiggling at the knob, only to find it locked, he knew it was the right room; the one at the end of the hallway.

"Open up this damn door so I can kick his ass! And maybe yours too if you piss me off enough!" Levi demanded, banging his shoulder into the door. "I'll brake it off the hinges! I swear to the Lord!"

"I told you to go away!" Eren whimpered from the other side of the door. "Just go the fuck home!"

"What did you just say?!" Levi huffed, giving the finished blow to the door. His eyes nearly went blind at the sight. "What the hell...? Why are you...? Where did he go?"

Eren laid naked on top of his bed, the same towel covering up his exposed parts. Tears clearly forming in his eyes.

"I sent him home." He mumbled softly, pointing to his open window. "I.. I already got what I wanted out of him, so he had no reason to stay."

"You know something, Eren.." He began to say. "I trusted you, which is something I never do- trust in another person whole heartedly. Knowing what I've been through, you go through with such an action. Knowing I'd never do anything to hurt you. Knowing I'd never cheat. These lips wouldn't touch anyone's but yours. These hands not touching anyone but you. You knew this, and still let your needs get in the way of this. So what now? Are you going to call up your dealer to fill your needle because I made you mad again? Maybe because you're mad at yourself? Because you know you made a mistake, possibly one I can't forgive you for?"

"D-Don't say things like that, Levi." Eren sat up slowly, trying to stop the tears from leaving his reddened eyes. "I.. I'm sorry!"

"Sorry?! You selfish brat! Is all you care about is sex?!"

"Don't say that when you're the one who went back with your sleazy ex because you got drunk! You left my ass high and dry because I'm too young for you!"

"I wasn't with you when I slept with Erwin, shit head! I made that mistake on my own accord, that had nothing to do with you. And you are too young for me. Are you aware that I could go to jail for being with you? I did what I did for us. Im doing this for us. I want us to really know each other before we do anything crazy. I've known you a few months, what don't you get?!"

"Maybe I am selfish Levi! Maybe I crave your touch and I'm willing to get that high anywhere! So what?!"

"Get your shit together Eren!" Levi took a step towards him. "You're a bratty ass teen who needs to keep it in his pants and get clean. Focus on getting a fucking diploma, not my dick up your ass. You clearly know nothing about relationships!"

"And what the hell do you know about one?! Huh?"

"I know exactly what one shouldn't be like, smart-ass. This isn't what one should be like. Do you know what this makes me think?" Levi questioned, only to have Eren brake their gaze; looking off to the side with a blushed face, and tears on his cheeks. He knew the answer, but didn't want to hear it. "It makes me think that the next time I piss you off, or the next time I can't provide for you, be it sexually or emotionally, you'll go out and find it elsewhere, wether it be sex or drugs."

"T-That's not true.. Probably." He muttered. "I wouldn't.. Not to you.. Never."

"But you already have, Eren." His tone changed, sounding softer. The hurt in his voice was evident. Levi sighed, turning his back to Eren. "Forget about everything I've ever said to you, Eren. It's over."

"Levi!" The words perching straight through Eren's already fragile heart. "Don't leave! Please..!"

"I checked out of this relationship the moment I heard _his_ voice, Eren." Levi waived his hand to Eren, signaling his exit.

"No!" Eren screamed out, tears flowing from his ducts rapidly. "Don't leave me! No! Don't leave me all alone! I don't want to be alone anymore! How can you? How, Levi?! How!?" He cried out hysterically, his words almost inaudible to Levi.

"Trust me.." Levi said to himself, a lone tear rolling down his heated cheek. "This is just as hard for me, as it is for you."

 

* * *

 

 

 _I've never felt this pain before._  
_One in my heart, One so strong, constant, horrible._  
_Is it broken?_  
_Has my heart truly fallen,_  
_Into pieces?_  
_How? When?_  
_How did it end up this way?_  
_Why? Who?_  
_No, I can remember._  
_Those eyes._  
_The screaming voice._  
_I remember now,_  
_The pain hurts worse when_  
_I think back to the day._  
_Please,_  
_Let me forget._  
_The sooner,_  
_The better._

_\--_

_I've never understood how it feels to hurt._  
_This pain is far beyond words._  
_My heart feels like it's been burnt._

 _My skin gets colder than ice at the thought of you._  
_This pain is beyond words._  
_My eyes have lost their last hint of blue._

 _Why can't I get myself to forget this pain?_  
_This pain is beyond words._  
_What do I truly have to gain?_

_What can I gain without you here?_

_\--_

_Fading,_  
_Faster, faster._  
_Disappearing,_  
_Slower, slower._  
_Falling,_  
_Faster, faster._  
_Dying,_  
_Slower, slower._

_\--_

"Someone's in a mood.." Rose's voice filled the silence of Levi's room. He was too invested in scribbling his pen roughly against the paper. Her voice startled him slightly. Levi responded with a sigh.

"I guess you could say that."

"What happened?"

"Hm.. Not much." He lied, shrugging his shoulder. "I'm just in the mood to write, that's all."

"You normally write when you're in a mood, Levi." She pointed out. "Can I see?"

"I'd prefer you didn't." His eyes narrowed slightly. Levi folded the paper into four, and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Because it'd make me right?"

"Tch. Of course not." He lied. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

"I haven't seen you since the day before yesterday when I sent you to go see Eren, which is weird since you're wearing the same outfit. Looks like you haven't been to sleep. I was wondering how Eren-"

"He's fine, okay?" Levi said, though questioning if his statement was true. "We talked, and he's going to get his GED, and focus on himself. And for your information, I'm wearing a different pair of pants."

"I guess that's good.." She cleared her throat. "Anyways, I called him this morning."

"That's great to hear."

"Mikasa answered."

"Okay.." Levi shrugged a shoulder.

"She said Eren locked himself in his room and won't eat or drink."

"Mikasa will force him to, she can handle Eren just fine."

"You know, she told me to ask you what happened since Eren wouldn't even talk to her after she got home."

"Is that so?" Levi raised a brow. "Well, I don't know-"

"I'm not playing games with you, Levi Ackerman. I'm as serious as a heart attack. What happened between you two?"

"Nothing I want to speak of, got it?" Levi grabbed his room key and phone off the desk in his room, making his way past Rose. "I'm going out for a while. We can talk later or something."

"Fine." Rose stormed past the other. "But you're going to tell me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, looking through his voicemail. "Maybe later."

"Who are you calling?" Rose questioned.

"I'm not calling anyone. It's a voicemail."

"Who called?"

"No one." He mumbled, pressing play.

"Ah, right. Never mind." She smiled, finally leaving him alone; walking the opposite way.

"Levi! Pick up your phone! Ugh. You never do. Anyways, I'm calling to tell you that I'm bringing home pizza! Your favorite! A Hawaiian, extra pineapples. And some cola since we ran out. I'll see you in an hour. Love you, little bro!"

"Four phones later, and I've only managed to save this voicemail." Levi let out a sigh, repeating the message. "But I need to hear her voice, now more than ever. "But going to her grave should do for now."

Instead of driving, Levi decided to take the long walk through the city. It'd take a while to get there, but he had money in his wallet, and good walking shoes on. Besides, exorcise has always done him good when he's been in crappy moods. Now more than ever, he could use a walk. The air was crisp, light, and easy to breath. The perfect day to walk the city sidewalks. He wrapped his grey scarf around his neck a little tighter; with ever gust of wind, it sent a chill down his spine. The midday sun couldn't rid the cool in the air, but Levi didn't care. He wasn't in his room, and he was finally away from his depressing notebook full of poems.

On the way to the courtyard, Levi stopped to get a latte, and a single rose since he couldn't afford the dozen.

As he walked through the cast iron gates, a sudden rush of emotions fled his body, but he wasn't sure why. His body was warmer than before, as if being hugged. Approaching his sisters grave, he could feel his phone begin to vibrate. Was is Eren? Mikasa? It sure as hell wasn't Isabel, though a piece of him hoped so.

"Hello?" He answered the unknown number.

"Hi, is this Levi Ackerman?" The voice asked, sounding like a younger women.

"Yeah, but who's asking?"

"I'm Sasha, I work as a secretary at Hidden Hollow's nursing home. I'm calling about your mother, and it's fairly urgent."

"Uh.. Is she okay?"

"Well, as you may know, she refused any type of radiation or chemotherapy, so-"

"Wait, what? Chemo? She had cancer?"

"Y-yes sir, in her intestines. It started to spread a few months ago. A nurse should have contacted you?"

"This is the first I've heard of this, lady. You better not be lying to me!"

"I'm not! I wouldn't!"

"Then what? Why are you calling?"

"It's spread to her kidney's, and she's in need of a transplant. We were wondering if we could see a copy of your medical records to determine if you're a match."

"We'd have to be the same blood type, right?"

"Yes sir."

"I'm AB, and I'm positive she's B negative."

"Do you know anyone of the same blood type?" Sasha asked, seeming concerned.

"Only my sister, but she passed ten years ago."

"Thank you, Mr. Ackerman. We'll look through Troust's Medical Center's database, that's where she's receiving her treatments. Do you know where that is?" She asked.

"Yeah.." Levi muttered. "I know. Thanks."

Before she could get in another word, Levi hung up the phone.

"You gotta be shitting me." He said, looking at Isabel's tombstone. "Keep mom in your prayers, I think she'll need them."

Getting out his bus pass, levi rushed to the nearest stop to get on. His next destination: Troust's Medical Center. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year since the last chapter, and no one has heard from Levi, until one stormy night.
> 
> (finally, some smut! and just in case anyone has forgotten, Eren mentioned in like the third chapter he loves to sing, and it's finally coming into play, so keep that in mind.)

Rose had worried.

Even Erwin had worried.

Eren was beyond worried, and Mikasa acted as if she wasn't, but deep down, she was just as worried.

Levi had basically fallen off the face of the earth after hearing about his mother. All they know is that he went to go be by his mother's side, and no one has been able to get in touch with him for the past year, and three months.

His phone was off, the payments to his rental had stopped, he wasn't paying any board at the shelter either, and from what Eren had looked into, his credit card hasn't been used but one or two times.

_What happened to coming back to see me after I turned eighteen. I'll be nineteen before I even hear from him again.. Stupid bastard.._

Eren sighed, looking down at the screen on his phone, wanting to dial Levi's number knowing it'd get him nowhere. The number was no longer a thing.

"Eren.. Are you still going to see Rose today? I'll give you a ride."

"Yeah, after class though. I have my vocals class at two."

"Ah, that's right.."

She sighed, knowing Eren was either looking at Levi's contact, or the picture they had taken together long ago. It seemed like a distant memory to Mikasa, but it felt like yesterday to Eren.

"Everything I've put him through.." Eren mumbled, gently touching the screen of his phone. His shaky fingers running over the picture of Levi's face. He had cropped himself out long ago, not being able to stomach any reminisce of what could have been. "No wonder he ran away and didn't look back."

"Don't say that, Eren. That's far from true." Mikasa joined him on the couch, resting a hand on his shoulder for comfort. "Rose said he left to go help his mom, right? If she's truly that sick, he's probably preoccupied."

"For a year, Mikasa? Come on.."

"You know him better than I do.. What do _honestly_ think?"

"Maybe he just isn't accepting help from us.. Maybe he wants to do this alone?"

"Possibly." She gave her brother kiss on the cheek. "Please don't stress over him so much, he left you without a word, and broke your heart. The last thing I want is for you to be caught up on the past."

"I'm not caught up on anything, I just.." Eren stumbled to find the right words. "I guess I'm just angry, and dammint, Mikasa, I miss him!"

She reach her arm over his shoulders to hug him tightly. "It's fine to miss him, I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"Thanks, sis." His voice wasn't convincing, but Mikasa responded with a smile anyways.

"hurry up and get ready before you're late again, okay? I'll swing the car around."

Eren responded with a nod, and knew his tear stained shirt wasn't appropriate for class.

 

* * *

 

 

Mikasa had picked up a night shift at her job, and Eren was forced to spend the night alone. He was tempted to call up some cute guy in his contacts to keep him company, but they simply just aren't Levi. They couldn't spark the same flame as Levi, nor could they make Eren's heart race quite the same.

He decided he'd practice his vocals instead, trying to reach a higher range without his voice cracking like it did earlier that day. He should be practicing his harmonizing skills, but his mind was wrapped around his mistake, that he couldn't forget it.

As he always did, Eren stood in front of his mirror as he sang, hoping to build up his confidence. He sang well, but it never failed for him to get stage fright. His teacher suggested singing in front of a mirror, or a small group of friends.

Mikasa worked full time, and Eren really didn't _have_ friends, so the mirror would have to do.

He liked to describe his singing voice as deep, and hitting high notes wasn't his strong suite, but if he had to, he could maintain a falsetto with little to no effort. Him begin preoccupied in his own thoughts during class really hasn't helped. His range has been off, even if his voice was particularly low, he wanted to show off his skills. Maybe he lost his passion somewhere along the road. Maybe he wasn't as great a vocalist as he once thought.

Suddenly, the sound of the door bell cracked through the house, interrupting him as he sang. He looked down at his phone to check the time, and then back as his frightened face in the mirror, it was well after midnight. The moon was hidden behind the black sky, rain pouring loudly and hitting the ground at a fast rate, they anticipated it to flood some tonight. The sound of crackling thunder was heard in the distance, followed by strings of lightning that illuminated the night sky.

Eren thought this scene was straight out of a scary movie, and his nerves made sure he carried a bat to the door before he answered it.

He lined his eye to the peephole, to only see a mop of dark, wet hair. He slowly opened the door only to have his heart stop mid-beat. Eren had to pick his jaw up from the floor before he could even begin to speak.

"What the fuck?" He mumbled, swinging the door all the way open. He dropped the bat on the hardwood floor. "You stupid bastard, coming here this fucking late! You scared the living shit out of me, Levi!"

"Yeah, nice to see you too, Eren." Levi pushed his way through the door, hanging up his dripping coat on the new rack near the door.

"Jesus Christ, you're dripping wet.."

"It is raining out."

"Is that all you have to say?!" Eren's fists balled together tightly. His eyes holding back a river of tears. "No hello? No I missed you? Not even _sorry_? You fucking up and leave me and don't even call to say goodbye! You fucking idiot, do you know how much pain I've been in?"

"I know, Eren.." Levi spoke softly, turning to face him. The bags under his eyes were dark, noting the lack of sleep he's had. Eren noticed he looked as if he lost a lot of weight. His hair had grown out, and his undercut badly needing a buzz. He was a _mess._ Eren swallowed hard, taking in a good look of Levi. As mad as he was, Levi looked as if he had seen better days - today not being a very good one.

"I'm so sorry.." He continued. "I shouldn't have done that to you. I can't apologize enough.."

"You're damn right.."

"You've grown a few inches.." Levi noted. "Your hair is longer too.."

"Duh, I am a man now.."

"That's true.." Levi tried to show a smile, lifting a small corner of lips.

"Let me get you some dry clothes.." Eren took Levi by the wrist and led him upstairs to his room. Levi stood there, an aimless look in his eyes as Eren threw dry clothes on the bed.

His face never showed any emotion as he changed, pulling Eren's shirt over his damp chest. It was baggy on him, and Eren noted that it was painfully cute.

His eyes watched as Levi wiggled out of his soaked jeans and boxers that desperately needed to be replaced. Eren's eyes clenched shut when he realized the other was exposed in front of him, but opened them again slowly to get a quick glimpse, and truly wasn't surprised.

Eren's pajama pants fit loosely around Levi's waist, but he tied the string as tight as he could to keep them up.

"Thanks.."

"Where have you been this whole time?"

"With my mother.." Levi answered.

"How is she?"

"Dead.." He kept his answers short. He spotted a towel on Eren's floor and used it to towel dry his hair before laying himself on Eren's bed. "I just need to sleep.."

"Levi, I-"

"Don't bother apologizing. I'm the one who couldn't save her.."

Eren pouted, not knowing what to say to the other to lift his mood. He desperately wanted to see Levi smile again, but knew now wasn't the time he'd be able to see it. He joined him atop the sheets, wrapping his arms tightly around him. If he couldn't think of anything to say, then comforting him in another way would have to do.

Levi nuzzled his head into the crook of Eren's neck, embracing the others warmth. Though his body laid limp, it was the first time he truly felt his heart beat in months.

This past year had been hell - which would be an understatement.

His mother didn't respond well to chemo, aside from loosing her hair, she lost most of her body weight as well. They couldn't find a kidney donor that matched her blood type after a desperate search for nine months, she told them to forget about the transplant. Kuchel knew deep in her heart the end was near, and wanted to spend her last moments with her son, not waiting for a new kidney all in the while throwing her guts up, and wearing wigs that just didn't flatter her facial features. Towards the end, she only grew sicker, with her immune system being shot to hell, phenomena set in quickly, doing a real number on her body. She was forced to eat soft foods, unable to digest anything else, nor could she really muster the strength to even chew.

Hell wasn't the right word for the last year of Kuchel's life. It wasn't even a life anymore to her, she was simply alive and breathing, and Levi knew it. She wasn't living, only existing. Levi would be selfish to keep her alive, plugged up with IV's and only eating puréed foods, and water. She couldn't go to the bathroom on her own, unable to move much without assistance, and was unable to even bathe herself.

Levi sat in the room as Kuchel smiled, her pulse growing weaker, the moniter that tracked her heartbeats starting to go off as her heartbeat became dangerously low. He knew the doctors would come rushing in, try and shock her heart back into a regular rhythm, and Levi wasn't having that. His mother asked for a quiet death, after all, and that's what she was getting.

He reached over, unplugging the loud machine, and waited with his finger pressed to his mother's wrist for the pulse to end before going out into the hallway with tears in his eyes, telling the nurse in the next room that is mother had passed on.

 

Levi never slept much to begin with, but only getting ten hours a week from staying up all night listening to his mother cry out in pain had cursed him. Every time he closed his eyes, her screams was all she could hear.

But being in Eren's arm made him forget, though only for a quick moment. The screams were still muffled in his eardrums.

"I don't know what happened while you were gone, but I'm willing to listen.." Eren spoke softly, almost in a muffled whisper, making Levi's heart skip a few more beats than he was willing to admit.

"But don't you hate me?"

"I hate how you just _left_ me, but I don't hate you.. I just wish you picked up the phone and called me every once and a while, especially on my birthday."

"It's not like I didn't want to, Eren.."

"We were all worried sick about you, Levi. Every last one of us. You never said goodbye, never left a note, you just left."

"I know.."

"I thought it was because of _me_. When you walked in and seen me with him, I thought you lost it and left town or something."

"No, I was mad but I wouldn't have done _that._ "

"I thought you hated me, Levi.." Eren found it hard to hold back anymore tears. "God, I thought I was never going to see you again, and that broke my fucking heart. I thought you didn't care anymore."

"I cared then, just as much as I care now. Nothing has changed how I felt." Levi took ahold of Eren's shirt, bunching it up with a tight grip over his chest. "If anything, I care now more than I ever have."

"W-What?"

"Loosing my sister, loosing my mother, I don't think I could handle loosing _you_ too.. My mother and I didn't get along well, but she was the last of my family. Towards the end she was _different,_ and accepted me for all my flaws. For the first time in forever, I really felt like she loved me."

"She isn't the only person who loves you, Levi.." Eren held him tighter, trying to stop his body from trembling. "I love you."

"How can you honestly say that?" He mumbled into Eren's chest. "After everything I've done?"

"Because that's what love is, right? We've both have hurt each other.. But at the end day, we still love each other. At least I hope you feel the same."

"I love you, Eren.. More than I could put into words. I did then, and I do now."

"Oh thank God." A few tears fell from his emerald eyes. "I was worried.."

"You should have known I felt.. I don't think I hid it well. I love you, Eren. And I don't want to loose you. You got that?"

"I got that." He smiled widely, wanting nothing more than to hear those words. "I'm so happy you're back, Levi. I missed you so fucking much.."

"I missed you more.. You have no idea how badly I wanted to see you. But I was in a different state with my mother. They transferred her to a specialty hospital so she could get treatment, but it was still unsuccessful.."

"I'm so sorry.."

"Don't be.. Just.. Come with me to her funeral tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, of course Levi."

"Is it okay if I touch you, Eren?" He muttered, looking up at Eren, who noticed some life coming back into his eyes. Just a soft glow behind his iris.

"Touch me all you'd like." He answered, lifting Levi's chin so their lips could meet.

Levi pushed his way on top of Eren, pinning him to the mattress. His dull eyes sparked more intensely, his chest caving in, and expanding widely with each breath. Eren could hear the rasp in his voice as he said his name one last time before kissing him roughly. Their tongues bashing together, no real method behind their kiss; they just wanted contact, no matter how sloppy it may be.

Despite their rough kissing, Levi's touch was soft. His thin fingers running through Eren's hair felt exactly like heaven. It was breath taking to have their body's finally meet. Levi grinding his hips against the others, rubbing their forming erections through thin fabric. A part of Eren was glad Levi wasn't wearing any boxers underneath. It was one last later he needed to peel off.

"I walked here.." Levi said between pants. "I could only get a bus to downtown."

"That's an hour walk! Are you crazy?!"

"I needed to come see you.." He confessed. "I didn't care about anything else. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten.. I just needed to see you.."

"I'm here Levi..." He ran his hands under the shirt he let the other borrow, softly grazing over the newly protruding rib cage; something Eren has never felt before. He always remembered Levi as being toned, a nice body, and built with muscle. Maybe he really hasn't eaten much this past year.. He was almost all skin and bone.

"You won't leave?" Levi needed to be sure. He stripped off his shirt, throwing it to the floor before crashing his lips against Eren's again. The answer would have to wait, he feared hearing the answers _no_.

_Always.._ Eren thought as he kissed his lover deeper. _I promise._

His fingers ran up Levi's chest, feeling every crease and groove of his body, one he has craved to touch for as long as he can remember; since they had first met. He recalled touching himself at the thought of levi, more than once, and more often than he's willing to admit. But touching Levi for real was better, and much more erotic than the thought of their bodies colliding, desperately tracing fingers over each other, roughly pulling at the ends of each other's hair. He didn't want to be gentle with Levi, no matter how hard he was trying.

Eren pushed Levi back onto his back, peppering kisses along his neck, reaching his now bare chest. They had lost their clothes long ago, minus Eren's pants and boxers, Levi laid under him, completely vulnerable, and willing to take whatever was coming for him. All the desire festering up in Eren was about ready to explode.

His lips trailed down Levi's torso, leaving marks where his lips once were, making his way down to Levi's leaking member.  His tip already soaked in pre-cum. Eren couldn't help himself, slurping up the other's taste, hearing the soft moan that escaped Levi's lips, only making Eren harder.

His took in Levi''s full length, holding back any noise from the head of the other's member touching the back of his throat. He's practiced for this, and wasn't letting his late night actions go to waste now!

Eren's tongue swirled over the pink tip, letting the tip of his tongue slid through the wet slit. Hearing levi's moans made his own cock twitch with excitement.

Levi flipped himself over, bringing back a slicked finger to his entrance, teasing himself with the tip of his finger. Eren watched with wide eyes as he pleased himself, unconsciously palming himself through his pants.

a loud moan filled the room as his finger was fully inserted, eren helpfully let a string of saliva lube his lover's hole as he inserted a second finger. He took the opportunity to undress himself completely. Eren's erection stood up tall, and levi knew just by getting a quick glimpse that he was going to need more than two fingers to loosen himself.

The third finger made his eyes clenched shut from the sharp pain, but a part of him loved it, and a shameless moan left this throat. His grunts as he moved his slicked fingers in and out of himself slowly made Erne painfully harder; jerking his length slowly as he watched with a fire in his eyes.

Eren kept lube in the dresser, and reached over Levi's body to retrieve it. He rubbed to cold liquid trough his hands to warm it up before rubbing it on his length, then tapping levi's wrist to signal him to pull out. He quickly got the memo, and did as was directed. With the remaining lube on his fingers, Eren twisted and turned the three wet fingers inside of his lover, making him pant harder in onto the pillow.

"I  want to make sure youre ready of me." Eren hummed, leaning down to pressed kisses against levi's pale back, working his way up to nibble the others ear lobe.

His pace became faster, using his fingers as a tool, touching everything inch of his insides, hitting that one spot that always made Levi's twitch, and want to cry out.

"Put it in already, brat.." Levi mumbled into the pillow, pulling a face back at Eren. "I can't hold out much longer."

"I don't think I will either." Eren commented, switching his fingers for something much more pleasurable.

He pushed his length in slowly, making Levi's head shoot back in pain.

"Oi.. Who let you be so big, brat?"

"You like it.." Eren said into his ear, then gave it a gentle kiss. "can I move?"

"Y-Yes.. Please.." He grunted as Eren wasted no time, slowly pushing his way in, and slowly pulling his erection out, stopping at the tip.

After a few slow, long strokes, he fastened his pace, slamming his hips into Levi's, keeping him pinned to the mattress underneath him. Both men moaning like crazy at Eren's fast rhythm. His strokes were short and fast, hitting levi's prostate over and over, until he came upon the sheets. And Eren wasn't short to visit after, collapsing on top of Levi.

"Get off of me.." Levi mumbled after a regaining his breath.

"Sorry." He yawned, slowly pulling himself out and crashing his limp body beside him. "I would have done more-"

"I only said that because you're heavy, Eren. I wanted you just as bad as you wanted me.. I don't regret this.."

"I wasn't bad or anything, right?"

"I was moaning like a schoolgirl, I think you did alright."

"Hey.." Eren wrapped an arm around Levi pulling him closer. "I was hoping you would do more, considering you made ME wait."

"Shut up, I let you fuck me, didn't I?"

Eren couldn't help but chuckle. "I love you, Levi.. Thank you for being alive."

"Eh?!" Levi's face turned beet red. "You're such a brat," Was his way of saying thank you.

"But you love me too, right?"

"Yeah, Yeah.. How could I not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took way too long to upload, I rewrote this chapter four or five times, and I'm still not 100% satisfied with it. The next chapter will be the last. And hopefully i'll get to it soon.
> 
> Sorry for the reeaaalllyyy long delay on this fic, as well as my other ereri fics! (I got lost in the Naruto fandom, and started writing some kakairu work, and totally lost track of ereri, but im back! my other fics will be updated soon as well!!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk about hardly ever updating a fic, this is the last chapter! Finally! I'm sorry about being so infrequent.

Rose never touched the contents of Levi's room, and Eren made it a point to let him know. All his clothes were far too big for Levi, and sending him back to his old home would be a good thing. He'd see Rose, also get into something that actually fits, and even though Eren didn't want them to see each other, he _would_ be able to see Erwin.

But Levi declined, and insisted on wearing a pair of Mikasa's jeans and the smallest dress shirt Eren owns.

How could Eren say no? Mikasa almost did, but the look in Eren's eyes stopped her before she could.

After trying on a few pairs of pants, and a few different shirts, and decided on a pair of black skinny jeans that fit him nicely, and a lavender button up that Eren wore on the day of his graduation. Levi made sure he apologized for not being there, and he did more than once.

The funeral started at four, his mother had been cremated, and they didn't expect many people to show. It was just going to be her urn, and a blown up picture of herself, Levi and Isabel. The pastor would say a few words, and they'd all go on their way.

The church that ran the Sacred Hearts shelter was nice enough to hold the funeral when they heard the news, and gave Levi the very basics for free. And Levi was beyond graceful.  


He gripped Eren's hand tighter as they walked in through the main entrance. He looked down towards his feet as the walked down the aisle towards the front, making Eren smile at the though of them both walking towards an alter. But now wasn't the time to be think of such things.

As he looked up, he was the beautiful array of flowers surrounding the portrait of his family, making his lips curve into an almost unnoticeable smile. Eren squeezed his fingers harder, getting Levi's attention. He jerked his thumb behind him, and Levi's eyes followed.

Rose, Father Zackly, Erwin, Hanji, Mike and Mikasa all stood at the entrance with wide smiles.

This is what Levi expected happiness to feel like, and it wasn't disappointing. His eyes filled up as they scanned over his group of friends, and even at this point he considered Erwin a friend, no matter how bad their past was: that was his first, and he held a special place in his heart.

"Thank you, Eren.." Levi mumbled as he wiped under a dark eye.

"They insisted on being here, they wanted to be here for you."

"It's true." Rose led the pack, walking towards Levi with a proud grin. "We were all so worried, and when Eren called this morning and told us you came back, we had to see you. We had to be here and support you, especially now. Father Zackly told me he was holding a funeral today, but wouldn't tell me who's, and I can see why now. You probably asked him not to."

"Because I didn't want you guys to worry.." 

"We were worried sick!" Hanji's voice boomed throughout the chapel.

"I'm sorry.."

"I thought you died or something." Mike added, scratching at the back of his neck  

"Me too, I was worried sick." Erwin said, arms folded loosely over his large chest.

"I guess I was worried too.." Mikasa mumbled, running a hand through her hair.

"See?" Eren wrapped his arms around Levi, bringing him in for a tight hug. "We care about you, every single one of us.. And we're all sorry for you loss."

"Thank you guys.." Levi returned the hug, gripping Eren tighter. The others couldn't help but join in, forming a tight group hug around Levi, making some sort of laughter leave his throat.

 _This truly must be happiness_. Levi could feel his heart beating faster. _I'm glad to be home._

 

* * *

 

 

Levi slammed his fist into the alarm on the nightstand, sitting up in bed with a loud groan. He looked over to see Eren, still fast asleep ,with drool dried up on his cheek. He muffled a curse as he nudged Eren to wake up, the alarm was set for him after all. Eren had class today, and if he didn't get up within the next ten minutes, he'd probably be late, and Levi refused to hear it from Mikasa again. Now that they're living together, Eren is his responsibility, or so his sister says.

Their apartment was only a few miles away from Eren's campus. It was sad, really, how Eren managed to be late more than half the time. Levi was prepared to say no to his horny brat who woke up with the sudden urge to ram Levi into their mattress - not that it was a bad thing, but poor Levi can only take so much.

"Wake up!" Levi finally yelled, startling Eren out of his deep sleep. "You're gonna be late, shithead!"

"Not again!" He almost literally jumped out of bed and started pulling his legs into a pair of jeans - turns out it was a sweater  

"Get your ass in the shower, I'll get your coffee."

"Can you make me toast, too?" Eren pouted out his bottom lip. The boy pushed himself out of the sweater-pants and stumbled towards the bathroom, ripping his clothes off on his way. "Or you can join me in the shower and I can eat _you_ for breakfast."

"I swear, you've been awake for two minutes, and you're already trying to get in my pants!"

"But Levi, you're so handsome!"

"Shut up and bathe, Eren!" Levi narrowed his eyes. He swore a vein was popping out of his forehead.

"Yes, Sir!" He teased his lover with a sly wink.

The raven haired man swung a robe over his cold bare shoulders before stepping out into the kitchen of their flat. He made his way towards the coffee pot, and filled it with water, and grounds, now waiting for it to brewe. The smell of dark roast coffee filled te room, and buzzed against his senses. He was a tea kind of guy, but Eren loved coffee, the stronger the better. Levi assumed it kept him awake, if he let eren stay in bed, he could sleep for hours on end, while he only got six hours max for himself.

From the shower, he could hear Eren singing, though he couldn't make out the words, he could hear the beautiful tone of Eren's voice. His soft falsetto, and his sweet, passionate tone that was hinted with soul. Levi picture Eren making R&B music, singing sedictivly about sex, and love. Just the though of Eren in tight jeans, up on stage, sining his heart out made his chest hurt.

Eren was beautiful, inside and out. His voice so full of passionate and lust, it was hard to, well.. not gewt hard listening to him.

Most nights, Levi drifted into sleep listening to Eren hum his favorite songs, or childhood lullabies. Or after they'd finish making love, Eren would softly sing into Levi's ears, caressing his back and peppering small kisses over his neck. He was very big on comfort after sex, a part of eren liked it more than the sex itself. After all, it was the only time Levi would except embrace.

 

Ten minutes to the second, Eren was out of the shower, now racing around looking for an outfit to wear, only to find that Levi had laid him out a simple pair of black jeans and a navy blue tee shirt. He shrugged and pulled the clothes over his drying body. He didn't have the time to really dry himself off, so he patted quickly and raced against the clock.

Somehow levi was already dressed and had Eren's coffee ready. His car keys in his hand, and waiting.

"Took you long enough, lets go brat!" Levi teased, hiding his smirk. "Don't want my precois eren to loose out on his education."

"Thanks, babe." He kissed Levi on the top of the head and he excepted the hot travel mug. It still pained Levi how his boyfriend was still growing, even after turning nineteen. Though he couldn't deny that his almost six foot tall, well built, and beautiful boyfriend, was anything but, well... beautiful. His hair was longer now, pulled back into a small bun, a few random strands hanging down the sides of his face. His jaw more defined, and manly. Every so often, it'd be marked up with hickeys thanks to levi, but he covered them with liquid foundation the next day.

Levi also grew his hair out some, though keeping his undercut. What hair he had was sliked back into a short ponytail. He even ended up getting a few tattoos, a matching key and locket with Eren. Levi's key was on his left wrist, Eren's locket on the back of his neck. Levi had a rose on his inner arm, a dark red, with pink and white undertones. Isabel's birthed inscribed in the middle on a ribbon. It was his favorite. Though he did really like the wings on his back that he called freedom. That was Eren's personal favorite.

 

Life has been much more easier with Eren by his side, and he knew it. The ring on Eren's finger proved it. They agreed that the ring as more of a promise, and not so much of marriage, since neither of them really wanted to get married anyways. The ring stood as proof, as validation and a promise that they both intended to keep. So maybe they'll never tie the knot, but what they have is serious, and there's no neeed to change it's title.

Levi promised Eren forever, and Eren vowed the same.

"Forever.." Levi smiled over at Eren as he drank his coffee. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind being with him forever."

"Did you say something?" Eren mumbled, blowing the steam from the top of the cup.

"La Vie Est Belle, Eren."

"I have no idea what the means, but right back at ya." 

Levi chuckled to himself as he drove off towards the school. He found life funny nowadays, but in the end, it surely ended up being beautiful, and he was grateful. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few side notes in case anyone is confused:
> 
> People who live in the shelter are deemed to be unfit to live on their own, not everyone who goes to the church's meetings can live there! Some of the recovering addicts are kept under a close eye. 
> 
> It's basically a rehab and group home combined, just with a religious affiliation.
> 
> Levi is basically a life coach to Eren, and you could also say he's like his social worker. From this point on, Eren will be kept under Levi's wing and will be guided towards greater health and happiness. Levi will also find the same within Eren.
> 
> It'll be dark and gloomy in the beginning, so please stick with the story! It will get slow at points but it gets sooo much better! ;)


End file.
